Early 30's TTC #1

[rosababy]

Soleil, you're right about the luteal phase. They actually can do a lot to fix that with progesterone supplements, etc. I was on the pill for 12 years, and so far everything looks good with me, too. Just that it's taking 9+ months to get pregnant. I also don't have a lot of cm, but it's getting better and better each month. I think I'm just comparing myself to my mom, who basically thought about getting pregnant and did right away...they didn't even try!! So I grew up assuming that would happen to me, too, and 9 months of serious trying later, here I am. It's just not what I planned for myself, which is why I think it upsets me so much. I'm a planner, just like you ladies! Oh well, I guess God has other plans for me, and this is His way of reminding me that I'm not in charge. (I'm type A, can you tell?)

 

[Liusaidh]

I am pretty new to using this site. I tried it a few months back but had difficulty navigating my way around! Still ttc after 7 months (though feels more like 7 years). I thought this would be a good group to join since I just turned 30 last week! Any tips or advice?

 

[rosababy]

Welcome, Liu! Advice...well, what have you tried so far? Pre-seed? Ovulation sticks (commonly called opks around here)? Temping? I've also been trying for a while, this is our 9th cycle. Are you ttc #1?

 

[sarah10380]

Hi everyone! I just joined this site today and have read this thread from the beginning. It's encouaging to read about all of the BFP's after months of trying. I am 30, my DH is 31 and we have been TTC since October. I tried a OPK last month, but never got a positive. I tested for 8 days and got frustrated that i never got a positive so I quit. It turns out that I must have tested too early, because my cycle was 36 days...it's usually 27-29 days. I'm not sure why that cycle was so long, I don't think I was stressed or sick...who knows? I am back to the OPK this cycle, started testing on CD 12 which was yesterday. Just to be safe though my DH and I started BDing on CD 10 and have been doing it everyday (my doc suggested this).

Question...does anyone know if drinking alcohol before O is ok? Does this hurt your chances of conceiving?

Baby dust to all!!!

 

[Aisak]

Hi Sarah!

Re: alcohol. i've never had much success cutting it out completly, haha. i know that too much can affect your hormones, which in turn can affect ovulation. i think there's a lot of debate on how much is ok when you're ttc...i keep coming across a study that says women that drink less than 5 drinks a week have a better chance of getting pregnant. But it seems like everyone i know drinks like a fish and gets knocked up (with the exception of me, of course. Eye roll.) i think as long as you keep it to a minimum it's not a big deal.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Hi Sarah! Welcome!

The months trying before we got our BFP I rarely drank at all. Just occasionally and even then maybe just one glass of wine. The month we got pregnant I threw all of that out the window and went back to my faves rum and diet cokes with lime. and I didn't stop at 1! It was the holidays and I was definitely drunk a couple of times over those 2 weeks. I don't think that the alcohol caused me to get my BFP, but I definitely think me chilling out for once and relaxing did. Some people drink during the 2ww, but I never felt really comfortable with that. I would maybe have a glass of wine before implantation could've taken place but the week before AF was due I tried to keep my distance. Honestly, I don't think it would matter during the 2ww either, but I just kept thinking "what if?!?" good luck!

 

[sarah10380]

Thanks for the advice ladies. My husband and I are headed to Jamaica on Thursday with his work and I'm sure I will have more than a few cocktails. Looks like I probably will ovulate while we are there so thats why I was a little concerned about the alcohol intake, but I think I'm going to relax and just enjoy myself and maybe this will be my month to get a BFP

 

[Liusaidh]

Hi Rosababy,

Yep - ttc #1. How about you? Thanks for your message, I have tried these things and so far no joy (I am becoming slightly obsessed). Now entering month 8 ttc & feel miserable. Found out yesterday that someone close to me is preg after less than 1 month ttc and I am totally, utterly devastated! I know it sounds terribly mean of me. Just doesn't seem fair!

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Hi Rosababy,

Yep - ttc #1. How about you? Thanks for your message, I have tried these things and so far no joy (I am becoming slightly obsessed). Now entering month 8 ttc & feel miserable. Found out yesterday that someone close to me is preg after less than 1 month ttc and I am totally, utterly devastated! I know it sounds terribly mean of me. Just doesn't seem fair!

It's not mean it's totally normally and maybe it sounds hypocritical for me to say because we are expecting, but I'm still finding myself jealous when I hear of someone expecting! Obviously I'm super thankful but because I've had a mc in the past it won't seem real until....well, I don't really know when...maybe when I see the ultrasound and have confirmation that there's really a baby in there. Last time I had a blighted ovum (sack grew and grew, but no babe in there) so I still feel like I'm in the hopeful stage. That's maybe why I prefer hanging with you guys and chatting about ttc rather than the prego journals. I don't feel like I fit there yet. So as long as you guys don't mind I'm still gonna give my two cents on ttc!!

That's great your friend is pg and one day you will be happy for her. It's ok to pout right now though. We all do it...

 

[rosababy]

Sarah, welcome! The first few cycles of opk'ing, I found that I was missing the surge. I'm lucky in that I "fade in" to a positive, so I can usually see it coming. Once I get to where it's an almost positive, I start testing several times a day. I usually catch the surge then.

I do drink wine before O. In the past, I've found that I don't produce a lot of ewcm when I drink, but this cycle, I've had several nights of wine (lots of snow days!) and I have had two days of beautiful ewcm. I think drinking in moderation is fine, when they talk about drinking, it refers to heavy drinking, I believe. Plus, I agree with hopeful in that it helps me relax and just enjoy life, rather than stress out about ttc. I also know tons of women who drink until they get their bfp, and they turn out just fine. Again, a glass of wine can really help with stress, even my sil (a midwife) said it's okay to relax with a glass of wine in the 2ww.

Sarah, I'm SOOO jealous that you'll be in Jamaica! That's where we went for our honeymoon and LOVED it! Enjoy your drinks, and who knows...maybe a vacay baby?! I've heard tons of stories where women get preggo on vacation because they're relaxed and loving life! FX for you!

Liu (can I shorten your name like that?), I'm in my 9th cycle of ttc #1. And yes, it's incredibly frustrating. And sometimes I feel obsessed too. Every time AF comes around, I'm devastated, but it only lasts a day, and then I feel hopeful again. I have an incredibly supportive dh, who really helps me stay grounded. (He's actually getting a SA right now, bless his heart!) And I know how hard it is to hear of friends getting pregnant before you. My little brother and his wife just had their first, which was hard, and my neighbor and good friend is preggo with her 2nd. She and I started trying at the same time, and I thought it's only fair if I go first, since she already has one! Oh well. It'll happen. Have you thought about getting a sperm analysis for your dh? Another thing I've added this cycle is Maca, which is a root found in Peru...supposed to help with fertility (and sex drive!) in men and women. A lot of women have had a lot of luck with it on this site.

Hopeful, I'm sure your little bean is doing just great in there! I understand though...the worry doesn't go away, and I think that's normal.

Wow...long post!

 

[kcali]

Hi everyone again - I totally understand when I see my friends with babies or pregnant, I want to say "it's not fair!" I think it's cute they have kids, but I want a few of my own already!

I am on my 6th month ttc #1 and today I am at 8 dpo. I feel like af is coming and I am starting to get really down about it all! I really tried not to get my hopes up this week, but in my 2ww I couldn't stop thinking (obsessing) about getting a bfp, and which funny way I would tell my mom (first time grandma) or my husband I am starting to get worried there might be something wrong, but we said we will try for a year.

 

[fides]

@kcali - aww - try not to get down about it! (easier said than done, right?)

 

[rosababy]

Kali, I know you feel. We're onto cycle #9, and I always wonder if there's something wrong. I know lots of couples that try for a loooong time, who are completely normal. Have you just come off the pill?

So much for our sperm analysis. The doc didn't even have my dh do it in a cup. Just gave him a physical and said everything looks fine, here's a referral to a sperm place. WTF?! That's why we had this appointment!! Sigh. PLUS, the place we were referred to (btw, we have ppo, so we don't even need a referral, but whatever) a place that doesn't accept insurance, so it would be $200. AND the doc said even if it was low count or motility, ivf was our only option, which we won't do. Sigh. Oh well.

 

[kcali]

Thanks! Yeah i got off the pill in July (after 10 years) and started ttc in Aug. Everything seems normal when I went off opk's were showing I am o'ing, I got normal af's

Rosa - yikes - there is such run-around with dr's, referrals and insurance. We have really good coverage too but looking at the detail of how much they pay, how much you need to pay, what is covered, when you need referrals - it's enough to make you crazy! My DH is getting a physical next week, I asked him to mention a sperm count thingy to the dr, maybe he can refer us to someone...

 

[Liusaidh]

Hi Rosababy.

Please call me Liu It's much easier! We've been trying for about the same amount of time which I find reassuring in itself. This is the first proper conversation I have had on a forum and i'm already finding it incredibly helpful. Thank you. It's so nice to be able to speak to people who are going through the same thing, at the same time, with similar worries or frustrations. Not heard of the Maca root - I shall investigate though. Let me know how you get on with it! We have thought about possibly getting a sperm test done and dh is willing. Have you and your dh tried this yet? Glad your dh is so supportive too, it makes things so much easier to cope in times of despair doesn't it?! I was a born worrier so it's hardly surprising that ttc makes me such a worrywart! I know what you mean about feeling positive after the initial disappointment of a new cycle. We have to have hope don't we!?!

I am on day 5 now and waiting for o time. Fingers crossed for us all this month!

Liu xx

ps. SA? I'm not up with the lingo - you'll have to enlighten me!

 

[arianne]

Girlies, as you see on my chart, af came today! I find charting quite helpful as i knew it was coming because my temps starting to drop at 10dpo. Today it dropped to coverline, so I was sure it will show up today, and it did! This is amazing. I will no longer suffer the 2ww and wonder 'if'... and usually is the last week before af comes where im more impatient.
Now im 100% sure Im not pg and can safely do things I would not otherwise do. I havent taken even a sip of alcohol since I starting ttc!! Because I always thought 'what if I'm actually pg'... I can't rely on my light periods... But now my temps confirm it! This makes this journey soo much easier, and I'm very happy about it.

This month I'm going to try the pineapple core thing from 1dpo to 10 dpo... Im still scared to take BA, so I'll start with pineapple

Kisses to all the newbies!!

 

[kcali]

Arianne - sorry to hear AF showed up - Maybe I will start temping so I don't have to agonize over the 2ww. I'll start next cycle, did you just buy your basal thermometer at the drug store? And did you test the same time every day in the am?

 

[arianne]

kcali, I bought mine at a grocery store... but definitely any drugstore carries them. And yes, you have to test at the same time every morning, so it is more accurate...

Rosa sorry to hear about your doctor, agrr so annoying can you go to another doctor? I mean you can say that you have been trying for a year and want to get the tests done!! I don't know how it works in the US though....

 

[rosababy]

Thanks! Yeah i got off the pill in July (after 10 years) and started ttc in Aug. Everything seems normal when I went off opk's were showing I am o'ing, I got normal af's

Rosa - yikes - there is such run-around with dr's, referrals and insurance. We have really good coverage too but looking at the detail of how much they pay, how much you need to pay, what is covered, when you need referrals - it's enough to make you crazy! My DH is getting a physical next week, I asked him to mention a sperm count thingy to the dr, maybe he can refer us to someone...

Just fyi (since you mentioned it), opks don't actually prove that you're o'ing. They just show the LH surge, which means you're ABOUT to O, but sometimes your body can gear up to O and then not do it. The only way to know that you o'ed is to track your temperatures. It's great that you're doing good after 10 years of the pill! I was on for 12 years, and was convinced that I'd be one of those women who didn't get their AF for a year or something. I got it 34 days after going off, and have been regular since.

We have great insurance, too, but this particular place just doesn't take insurance. I'm not sure who would ever want to go there...whatever. We'll find a different place. I was just ticked because I had been looking forward to some answers.

 

[rosababy]

Liu,

SA means sperm analysis. So, to answer your question, we TRIED to get a sperm analysis! I think we'll wait until a year has passed (so, April or May) until we go again for a SA. It took me a while to get the lingo down, too. I'm pretty sure there's a cheat sheet on the home page of ttc lingo. That might help! I'm a total worrywart, too. There are lots of lovely ladies who know way more about Maca than me, but I have to say that after 1.5 weeks of taking it, I've got some GREAT ewcm so far! And it's come about 5 days earlier than normal, which is excellent!

Arianne, I'm sorry AF got you. You sound like you have a pma, though! So that's good. Temping helps me a lot, too. However, sometimes it would make me overly nervous in the 2ww...I would wake up in a panic that my temp would be way lower. Last cycle, I didn't temp after I o'ed, and was 3 days late. I'll probably temp all the way through this time. I was no less upset when AF came. And yes, we could try another doc, but it took us a while to get this appointment, and we had to time it just right, so it wasn't too close to my fertile time, and he didn't have to take time off of work. Whatever.