Early 30's TTC #1

[mrsmax]

Rosa - the fertility clinic said every other day from day 9 to day 19. We tried that last month, although missed the last one as I can't see the point bd'ing 3 days after I ovulate (DH hates it when I say stuff like that - like I can't be bothered to BD - but serioulsy a girl needs a rest right!!)

This month I will try bd every other day and then on day 15 and day 16 (as these are the days I always ovulate).

Feeling very bluuuuurrrrr right now. Heard another friend who got pregnant the first month!! Damn them

 

[Soleil Breeze]

and it's so hard. Had the blood drawn again today. I spoke with the nurse in charge of my account. I asked her why it mattered if my hcg was low if it doubled within the 2-3 day timeframe. She says we shouldn't be looking at stuff on the internet regarding timeframes; that it is supposed to double every 48 hours and that today is my day of "reckoning" in terms of them knowing whether or not this is going to be a viable pregnancy. She said my hcg numbers were low.

I am trying to stay positive. My breasts don't hurt as much today and I feel like I'm getting my period again. Lord knows, I hope I am just reading too much into this. If I lose this baby, I' know I'll go over the edge for a while.

I wrote "yes" and "no" on a piece of paper, ripped it in half, crumpled the two halves up and then mixed them up in my hands. I asked God whether this baby was going to end up being a healthy baby and the answer was "yes." These are going to be a terribly long 4-5 hours. I just pray that the numbers are good and that the "paper answer" was right.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Soliel- I am so sorry to hear of the stress that you are going through right now. I know how stressful the anticipation can be. I really hope you get good results today and will be thinking of you. We are here for you no matter what

 

[rosababy]

Rosa - the fertility clinic said every other day from day 9 to day 19. We tried that last month, although missed the last one as I can't see the point bd'ing 3 days after I ovulate (DH hates it when I say stuff like that - like I can't be bothered to BD - but serioulsy a girl needs a rest right!!)

This month I will try bd every other day and then on day 15 and day 16 (as these are the days I always ovulate).

Feeling very bluuuuurrrrr right now. Heard another friend who got pregnant the first month!! Damn them

Thanks, mrsmax. Every other day is what my doc said too, so I guess we'll stick with that. It doesn't hurt to dtd one more day in there, especially if you know when you o. I might do that too...can't decide if I want to go out and get some opks or not. Sorry about your friend who got lucky the first round. That's hard to hear.

and it's so hard. Had the blood drawn again today. I spoke with the nurse in charge of my account. I asked her why it mattered if my hcg was low if it doubled within the 2-3 day timeframe. She says we shouldn't be looking at stuff on the internet regarding timeframes; that it is supposed to double every 48 hours and that today is my day of "reckoning" in terms of them knowing whether or not this is going to be a viable pregnancy. She said my hcg numbers were low.

I am trying to stay positive. My breasts don't hurt as much today and I feel like I'm getting my period again. Lord knows, I hope I am just reading too much into this. If I lose this baby, I' know I'll go over the edge for a while.

I wrote "yes" and "no" on a piece of paper, ripped it in half, crumpled the two halves up and then mixed them up in my hands. I asked God whether this baby was going to end up being a healthy baby and the answer was "yes." These are going to be a terribly long 4-5 hours. I just pray that the numbers are good and that the "paper answer" was right.

Oh Soleil. i'm so sorry this is happening. Stop reading things on the internet! It will only make you worry more. Just keep praying. IF it doesn't stick, it only means He has even better plans for you. I'll pray for you too.

 

[mrsmax]

Soleil - reading you post made me want to cry because you sound so so worried. I pray that everything is fine - I agree that reading stuff on the internet is a double edged sward. You can find anything to support what you fear/hope is happening.

We are all thinking of you. Do you have some one in the "real world" who you can talk to about your worries? I suspect that you are 10X more concerned because it has taken so long to conceive - I am sure we will all be the same.

Huge hugs

 

[mrsmax]

Rosa - about my friend who got lucky the first time - the only way I console myself is that I just know that we will all appreciate the gift we have been given that tiny bit more. I for one will know that my baby (and yes I will have one!!) is a miracle.

 

[rosababy]

Rosa - about my friend who got lucky the first time - the only way I console myself is that I just know that we will all appreciate the gift we have been given that tiny bit more. I for one will know that my baby (and yes I will have one!!) is a miracle.

I think the same thing. I hate to say it, but I feel like we'll appreciate the baby so much more because of all the hard work and heartache that we are going through. It's hard to remember that we WILL someday have a baby...some days feel so hopeless. It will be a wonderful day!

 

[SMFirst]

Soleil - I hope you get good news, we are all praying for you!

mrsmax - you are absolutely right, we will all appreciate our miracles so much more when they come...

Rosa - good luck with the BDing this cycle..

AFM- I have a terrible ear infection right now (no idea how I got it) so with taking all the antibiotics and painkillers, the very last thing I want to do is BD.. Which sucks because I was really hoping to try hard this month.. Well it is CD9 for me today so I guess we have a few days yet...

Also - my sister had a baby girl last night she was due May 7 so a few days early. Luckily I had taken lots of advil so I was not distracted from the excitement and joy by my stupid ear.. The baby is very cute, and I was relieved that I only felt happiness for my sister (and her husband), and no self pity or anything. I am looking forward to meeting the little one better when they come home

 

[Soleil Breeze]

Trying not to cry, but this doesn't look good at all. It's taking 10 hours longer for my hcg levels to double now and my progesterone is dropping. I went from 103 to 162 in hcg, but my progesterone went from 20.9 to 17.8 (from an initial high of 24.7 Friday of last week). I asked the nurse directly if I should prepare myself to miscarry. She said that it's "really hard to say."

They want me to come back in for bloodwork on Saturday, but I told her that I can't. [Ok, now I'm crying...] We have to be out-of-town on the weekend. And what does it matter anyway? They're just going to keep travelling down. My breasts don't hurt as much anymore. It's on the way out. I know it.

This is just truly rounding out to be a perfect week. Car stolen; impending miscarriage. I'm just riding this wave of joy.

So anyway, I'll be back in for bloodwork on Monday, if AF doesn't arrive first.

 

[MsJMouse]

Oh Soleil your post is making me cry. FX'd that everything works out. Definitely thinking of you.

 

[SMFirst]

sorry for all the troubles Soleil, but hopefully things will turn around.. I hope you can have an ok weekend...

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Soliel, I hope that things do get better. I know you are probably very scared, but hang in there and I hope you get good news Monday.

 

[rosababy]

Soleil, you're making me cry, too. I wish I knew what to say to you. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

 

[Crumbs]

Soleil, aww sweetie I'm really hoping that this weekend gives you the turn-around you need! Pulling for your little bean to hang on tight

 

[arianne]

Soleil, just to let you know that I am thinking of you... sending you all the best luck and powerful good vibes... you are in my prayers friend... I hope you have a better day tomorrow... just take one day at a time and try to stay positive as you always have been...

xoxo

 

[mrsmax]

Soliel

 

[Birdie Dorf]

Soliel: Sorry you are going through this. I imagine the weekend off from the hospital and testing will in the end be therapeutic.

Thinking of you.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Soleil? How are you?

 

[mrsmax]

soliel - you ok hon?

 

[rosababy]

Soleil, thinking of you. Please log in and let us know how you are doing.

Afm, I have had 2 days of ewcm! This is the first time I've had it since clomid. Before clomid, I had 2 days maybe, but some cycles more, and quite a lot of it. NONE since I started clomid, and I had some! I had noticeable o pains on cd 11 and 12...although that's kind of early. Clomid is supposed to make you o 5-10 days after the last pill, which would be cd 12 - 17. I usually o on 16 or 17. We bd'ed on cd 10 and 12, and it was pretty fun both times. Hopefully this is my body FINALLY doing it's thang.

How is everyone else doing? Pretty quiet around here lately.