Early 30's TTC #1

[mrsmax]

Soleil - i dont think you are mad at all. I love that you felt her prescence - I had a dream the other day that minimax told me off as she is a girl and I keep calling her a he and by the way, she said, my name is Amber!!!!!! Totally odd but felt so real that if she is a little girl DH and i will be calling her Amber!

i also remember last year MsJ saying she felt so strongly that she would get her lo early this year and she did so these feelings can have meaning definitely!

I really hope your body sorts itself out soon - def get your iron checked out - I dont really eat meat either and had to keep an eye on it. You probably feel weak and exhausted enough mentally without having an iron deficiency making you feel worse.

MrsP - so glad you had a great scan - confusing about the dates but I always think better to measure ahead than behind. These things are weird though - with IVF you know your dates for sure but at my first scan I was initially measuring 4 days ahead so she waited until he was more scrunched up and measured him again until she got close to my IVf dates - bringing the date forward by just a day!!

 

[pink80]

Soleil - please ask them for a scan to check for retained 'products' (sorry to use that term but that's what they call it )

I know you think it's not possible with all the bleeding, but I bled for 6 weeks after my medical management and I passed huge clots I honestly thought there could be nothing else left, but I still had retained 'products' and ending up haemorrhaging and being rushed to hospital for emergency surgery and a blood transfusion. I'm sure nothing like that will happen to you but you must have something for the pregnancy hormone to still be there - it was with me. Also the dizziness etc sounds like anaemia to me, I was put on iron tablets to start with and it made me feel better

I really don't mean to scaremonger but please get checked Hun

 

[pink80]

MrsJ & MrsP - glad your scans went well

 

[MrsPTTC]

Thanks ladies. Aw Soleil I think that is lovely! About your baby girl I mean, not your bleeding You definitely need to get checked out though love.

Mrsmax how spooky we also like the name Amber! It's the only name DH has come up with that I like (he hates mine too haha) and years ago I wrote a few chapters of a book, just teenage crush crap lol, it went in the bin - anyway, I LOVED the name Amber and named the main character it, and based what she and other characters looked like on photos from magazines (pmsl) I did go off it for a while but like it again now. The only problem is getting a middle name to fit, some names are awkward and I think that's one of them. I think we could get away with Elizabeth, Emily or Rose . I have a list of names and am wading through a names book hi-lighting the names I like, then DH will go through it and hi-light the ones he likes, then I can cross reference

I figured the dates out and she gave the wrong gestation, or we misheard. Checked my maternity notes & there's a report saying 13 weeks 0 days! She could have said 13 weeks NO days or NOUGHT days & this sounded like 4 but DH & I are sure she said 4. Anyhow it means ticker is right! So here is Baby P - photos aren't great as it wouldn't keep still and also they're photos of a photos.. A couple of friends at work reckon the 3rd one looks like a girl based on the skull. Any guesses? x

 

[MsJMouse]

Soliel - I don't think you are mad either. As MrsMax said, I had a feeling I would be having a baby in early 2013 and I can't say where it came from it was just there. I hope your little one decides to come back soon.

I get another scan at about 30-32 weeks to check the placenta. Apparently it usually moves but if it doesn't I may end up with bleeding and if this happens at or around 34 weeks I may end up with a c-section then. If it doesn't move and I don't have any problems with bleeding I will have a c-section at about 38 weeks. Otherwise Ob is very happy with how everything is progressing.

 

[MsJMouse]

Love the pics MrsPTTC.

 

[pink80]

MrsP - I say girl xx

 

[MrsPTTC]

Just bought my first big baby purchase! Tesco have £50 off the Angelcare movement, sound & video monitor at the minute, plus I found a discount code for another £10 off. It was £182 in the end & was too good to resist as even 2nd hand ones on ebay are £140. It's a heck of a lot of money to pay for a monitor but we think it's worth it for peace of mind and our friends have the same monitor and love it x

 

[Aisak]

Hey all,

i haven't been on here in a while! Congrats to Rosa!

i'm doing alright. i have my first scan on Monday and all i can feel is terror. i'm going to be a disaster in that waiting room. So worried there will be something wrong.

However, i do seem to be having decent symptoms. i'm exhausted and have been going to bed some nights as early as 6:30pm! i'm a total night owl, so that is completely unusual for me. Boobs are sore on and off (usually first thing in the morning or when i take my bra off. Or when my dog decides to bound across my chest!). i was only having mild waves of nausea, usually at night. i was feeling kind of worried that i wasn't "sick" yet (oh, the mind of an infertile). It seems to be catching up with me in the last couple days and now i feel pretty gaggy for the most of the morning and in the evenings. And some foods just won't go down. Makes it difficult to hide "the news" when sitting in the staff room, gagging on your lunch.

i've also been having strange dreams every night. Most are bad dreams (there's no heartbeat at the scan, i start doing heroin and remember that i'm pregnant, i restrain/carry a kid at work and then remember i'm pregnant an shouldn't have done that, i have to give my dogs away, etc). The others are pretty "sexy". Ahem. And a couple times i've orgasmed. And then promptly woke up and started cramping quite painfully for about 20 minutes. It totally freaks me out. i've googled around and i guess this is somewhat normal, but it still scares me. Anybody else have this cramping?

 

[MrsPTTC]

Hi Aisak! Don't worry about the lack of sickness, I've had some nausea but not much, I think I've got off pretty lightly! I was also a bag of nerves waiting for my first scan, I could've cried! I was shaking! I've also had sexy dreams but never quite managed an orgasm! I had cramping early on, then had it yesterday but I don't think it's anything to worry about, my MW said as long as it's not too painful it's fine x

 

[rosababy]

Hi ladies! As you know, Jack is here! I read through what I missed on our little thread, but am too exhausted to reply right now. I'm so behind in journals, but I'm slowly making my way through. I can't get enough of my boy...my inlaws are here, hogging him.

Pics in my journal, as well as my birth story if you're interested. Ended up with a c-section and am feeling better each day.

love to you all.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Rosa I just love him, he's so beautiful! I Love babies with lots of dark hair, We've got no chance as both blonde & I had no hair til I was 2! I got up to your birth story in your journal so will have to go back on & read it. Much love & you take care of yourself (& Jack) x

 

[Soleil Breeze]

going on for well over a week now. Maybe this is normal for a first post-D&C period? I have no idea. The bleeding is getting lighter now, though. So I didn't go into the Doc on Saturday. Based on what Pink80 said tho...now I'm wondering. But the thing is, the hcg is going down. A couple of weeks ago it was 100 and something, then the next week 60 something, I think. Was it 30 something last week? But anyway, it's going down. Going out of town for my B'day in a few days. Will go to the doc again next Tuesday. The hcg will be gone. I will it so!!

Aisak, so glad you're dropped by to fill us in. Vivid dreams are totally normal, so I've heard. As for the cramps, I'll be honest. They'd worry me, but, well, you know why that would be. I never really had cramping with either of my pregnancies, though. Last year I was awoken by the most painful sharp pain I have ever experienced in my life; it throbbed for a little while afterward. Four days later we went in for a scan (around eight and half weeks) and the baby's heart had stopped beating. Not sure if they were related. This time around, while I was doing fieldwork overseas, I had some mild cramping around six weeks for about five minutes. Then NOTHING else. So what I'm saying is, you could have barely no cramps and miscarry. Or you could have some cramps and everything is fine. I don't think there's always a rhyme or reason to this stuff.


As for the feelings we get when we're TTC or pregnant (e.g. MrsMax and Amber...), I'm not sure they're just feelings. And now you will think I'm a little cuckoo for real. I started reading this book a few days ago, it's called Spirit Babies. Apparently the ones to come can speak to us, if we're open enough to hearing. So, in all likelihood, MrsMax will have an "Amber" if she's receptive to the spirit of her little one. Maybe it won't be "Amber" this first time, but she will come. She's already attached to MrsMax's spirit.

Some of us come with little ones already attached to us; others are seeking out parents [so the book says]. And why do we miscarry? Seems like it can be two things - the spirit baby picking up on some sort of environmental negativity [could be in the physical surroundings, your relationship with your significant other, etc.] or it could be that the spirit baby just decides that it's not ready yet to come out into the world.

Part of me thinks this is B/S. In my case, for example, the baby had trisomy. It was CHROMOSOMAL. We have a MEDICAL/SCIENTIFIC/BIOLOGICAL explanation, but the spiritual side of me gets it. I GET IT. I want this baby, and I want this baby like yesterday, as they say. But looking back, last year's pregnancy - I wasn't really ready. I'm at a place now where I am ready, so I'm not sure why little one left me this year (assuming it's the same soul trying to reach me)...maybe it's explanation number two. S/he realizes that s/he's not quite ready to come out in the world. S/he needs some encouragement. So, by reading this book, I'm going to see what I can do to assure her/him that it's okay. I'll be here to love and support her/him no matter what.

If it's a complete crock of sh**; what's the harm? I've done just about everything else other than actually have my eggs retrieved from me and put into a petri dish (and, as we know, that wasn't for lack of trying!). So I'll take the spiritual path now. Maybe I'll end up cynical at the end of it, but I don't think so.

I FELT that peace come over me. I know that s/he told that s/he was present and would come back in our physical world.

My work - my, oh so hard work, is to try and be patient and wait.

Thanks for your support through this, girls. MsJMouse and Rosa, I've been popping in to your journals and writing there.

xx

 

[MrsPTTC]

Soleil I think you speak such lovely things..theories...beliefs, whatever I should call them. I believe in a lot of what you said & think it's great that you seem to have found peace with these thoughts & this book, it's obviously been good for you . You will get your rainbow baby Hun. It's great your hcg has gone right down too x

 

[mrsmax]

SB - I love all those thoughts - made me cry (although that is easy to do at the moment). It does sound a little crazy, but crazy stuff isnt neccesraily wrong - especially when it is so wonderful

I had my meeting with HR yesterday about maternity leave - last day in th office 7th Dec a month before mini-max is due. I wanted to go a bit earlier but my stingy work dont give us back our bank holidays and there are 4 around Christmas so have to hang on a bit longer so I dont lose them!! I have annual leave from 7th Dec to 28th Dec. People in the UK - what do your work do about bank holidays - is mine just really mean?

 

[MrsPTTC]

Mrsmax I'm not sure hun I work for the government so imagine we'd get them back, but I might be wrong.

I got my NT & blood test results back today, 1 in over 3000 which is low risk & from what I've read is very good. I'm a lemon today, yay! x

 

[mrsmax]

MrsP - that is a great result. What a relief!!!

I think most govt depts get them added on - they are usually too worried about court cases to do anything slightly risky!! Congrats on being a lemon - everyone seems to be getting bigger really quickly

 

[MrsPTTC]

Thanks Mrsmax, I think I can officially say I've got a pot now, and not just one I can see myself it's only small though Do you work for a private company? It's a bummer you having to delay your maternity, though on the bright side, more time with minimax! x

 

[rosababy]

SB, I'm glad you're finding peace. I think of you every day.

 

[MsJMouse]

SB - I have to say I am open to those thoughts. When my mum found out my little sister wasn't going to survive she said she saw my great grandma standing in the dining room every time she walked in the room as if my great grandma was trying to let her know that Sara would be okay and looked after in heaven. I also wonder if fuzzy knew he/she would be needed this year and thus the timing wasn't right last year as I do think it is helping my family to know fuzzy is on the way with dad getting sick and passing away so soon after. Hugs. I hope you little one comes back soon.