Early 30's TTC #1

[arianne]

Thank you for the hug hopefulmama! I am sooo happy for your pregnancy and hope everything goes perfectly.... take care of yourself and your little bean!

Piccolo which sunshine??
Thank you so much for your words... they made me cried though but good tears...happy ones... and hearing about the 9 months average makes me hopeful... but as i said, i don't want to be hopeful anymore... without being negative either... just being cool with whatever
Is nice to see you in here!, don't disappear! How are you feeling? which CD are you now? Wouldn't it be funny if we really know each other and we don't know we do? hahahaa Take care, and enjoy the sunshine!?
MUAK!

 

[piccolo]

Thank you for the hug hopefulmama! I am sooo happy for your pregnancy and hope everything goes perfectly.... take care of yourself and your little bean!

Piccolo which sunshine??
Thank you so much for your words... they made me cried though but good tears...happy ones... and hearing about the 9 months average makes me hopeful... but as i said, i don't want to be hopeful anymore... without being negative either... just being cool with whatever
Is nice to see you in here!, don't disappear! How are you feeling? which CD are you now? Wouldn't it be funny if we really know each other and we don't know we do? hahahaa Take care, and enjoy the sunshine!?
MUAK!

Well I guess it's dark now but it was sunny earlier, where I am anyway! Yes it would be funny if we knew each other...
Being cool.. yeah wish I could get there. I think I'm about 7dpo today. I think I missed my surge this month so I'm not overly hopeful. I was doing OPKs and had one that was borderline positive - I thought I would get the definitive positive the next day so we didn't have sex that night because my husband wasn't feeling well. But then the lines started getting lighter again and when I pulled the borderline one out of the garbage can I think I misread it - the line was as dark, just not as thick, which made it look negative. I'm hoping that with the day before and the day after we may have still managed to catch it, but I'm doubtful. I'm trying to be okay with that. My best friend is getting married in Texas in October so I'm consoling myself with the fact that if I don't get pregnant in the next two months I'll be able to go.
Fingers crossed for you. You never know this might be your month.

 

[finallyready]

Piccolo! Great to see you again!

Arriane - I know how you feel...I really do! I started my TTC journey in July as well; only my body was messed up and would not ov! Hence my delayed AF. Take blessings in the fact that you are Ov'ing and do get AF on a regular basis, because I tell you, going 6 months with nothing was heart breaking. I felt lost...testing every 3 weeks just in case was such an emotional drain. I hope and pray with AFs arrival this month that it means I am back on track and that God willing, I will get my BFP. But at the same time, I am realistic, in that sadly, as much as this is my 6th month TTCing, in reality, it is only my FIRST since I only now have ov'd. It depresses me to think that now, it could be another 9 months from here.

Anyways, we will get our BFPs! And you know what...I know you were talking about worst case scenarios....and I'm not there yet....but I do know that if all else fails, there are millions of babes out there with no homes or family's so as much as I want a little bubba of my own, I think my DH and I could find peace in adopting (IF we had to).

Loads of to all of us!

When do you plan on testing????? AF for me is due T-7days! So I might try to wait until next Friday. Like I've said before, I pray for either BFP or AF! I can't bear going another 6 months without either!

 

[Crumbs]

I enlisted the help of my husband with charting. He wakes up before I do and always has the same schedule, so I told him to just stick the basal thermometer in my mouth while I sleep and I'll worry about the rest. I put the little free chart it comes with beside his bedside table with a pen.

This morning he woke up a few times and must have taken my temperature at 4:00 am thinking it was already 6:30! Poor guy, I must have stressed him out! He said it was the first thing he could think of as soon as he woke-up!

Awww! I forgive him for the Maca comment now!

 

[nativetexan]

I enlisted the help of my husband with charting. He wakes up before I do and always has the same schedule, so I told him to just stick the basal thermometer in my mouth while I sleep and I'll worry about the rest. I put the little free chart it comes with beside his bedside table with a pen.

This morning he woke up a few times and must have taken my temperature at 4:00 am thinking it was already 6:30! Poor guy, I must have stressed him out! He said it was the first thing he could think of as soon as he woke-up!

Awww! I forgive him for the Maca comment now!

Awwwwww! That's so sweet! What a good hubby.

 

[rosababy]

Arianne, I can totally relate with you. For so many years, my dh and I were like "when we're ready, blah blah blah." We finally decided we were ready, at 31 years of age. I bought books about what to do before you started to try, etc. It was a major decision for us! And here we are, a year later...no baby. We even decided WHEN to start trying, trying to plan my maternity leave at the end of our school year, to maximize my time off. Wow. I really wish someone had told me ahead of time that it could take this long...it would have saved me a lot of sadness and worry. By our 3rd month as well, I was convinced that something was wrong with us. I still am. Although, hearing that it takes normal (totally healthy) couples on AVERAGE 9 months to conceive definitely helps. One of my good friends (also took her 9 months, and there's nothing wrong with her or her dh) said a lot of people take a long time, they just don't talk about it. We just hear of the ones who got lucky their 1st month.

I'm turning 32 in 6 weeks, and I never thought I'd be this old without babies. My dh keeps saying that every month we do not conceive only means that we're in much better financial state, and much better prepared. (We're both teachers) so that makes me feel a little better.

I don't think you should give up, Arianne. (Btw, beautiful name!) How long have you been ttc? Have you seen a fertility specialist? Have you had blood work taken, or dh had a SA yet? Not sure if you're religious, but my grandma said to me (my mom told her we were ttc when my little brother and wife gave birth to their first and I was happy of course, but sad for myself)...anyway...she said, "Let go and let God." That has helped me a lot. I pray a lot for a baby, and I pray for peace. I pray for patience while I wait, and I know that His timing is perfect. (Even though sometimes I really wish His timing would line up with my timing!)

Chin up, Arianne. It'll happen. And I know you're probably sick of people telling you that. I know I am. But it's true.

 

[piccolo]

Rosababy I'm turning 32 in 6 weeks too. When's your birthday? Mine is March 8. Before I had dreaded the idea of turning 32 without being pregnant yet. It seems so old. Worse though is that hubby turns 40 in April. Having a really tough time with that one.

 

[rosababy]

Piccolo (are you a musician?!), even if you didn't bd on the day of your positive opk, if you did it on the day after the positive, you could still be in the running. Usually, that's when people actually O. Plus, even if you missed it by a few hours, chances are the egg is still in there. PLUS, if you gave the a day off, they might be more willing to get their little butts up there in time! However, if you're trying not get your hopes up, I get that. That's what I did last cycle. Even though we timed it perfectly, I was like this isn't our cycle, I can just feel it. (On a side note, my period was 3 days late so I got so hopeful....grrrrrrr!!!) And you're right, maybe you aren't getting pregnant right now because you're meant to go to your bf's wedding! I've always wanted to use that little wedding picture!

Finally, gosh. I had no idea you were 6 months with nothing. I'm so sorry. I hope you either get your bfp (!!!) or are on a regular cycle from now on. Are you recently off the pill? I've heard that some women don't get their AF for a year after going off. Yikes!

Crumbs, what a SWEET dh you have! I can just imagine him panicking at 4 am and shoving the thermometer in your mouth! LOL! Poor thing. I didn't take my temp today...I had a few glasses of wine last night, and knew it was another snow day today, so I didn't feel like getting up early. Plus, I'm only CD 7, so it's not that necessary yet.

 

[rosababy]

Rosababy I'm turning 32 in 6 weeks too. When's your birthday? Mine is March 8. Before I had dreaded the idea of turning 32 without being pregnant yet. It seems so old. Worse though is that hubby turns 40 in April. Having a really tough time with that one.

Okay wow, so I can't count. More like 8 weeks. My bday is March 20th. Pretty close, though! Don't worry about your dh...men can make babies until they die in their 90s! 32 is the new 25. We'll be just fine. The problem is I have kindergarten students whose parents are WAY younger than me. That's when I feel old!

 

[piccolo]

Rosababy I'm turning 32 in 6 weeks too. When's your birthday? Mine is March 8. Before I had dreaded the idea of turning 32 without being pregnant yet. It seems so old. Worse though is that hubby turns 40 in April. Having a really tough time with that one.

Okay wow, so I can't count. More like 8 weeks. My bday is March 20th. Pretty close, though! Don't worry about your dh...men can make babies until they die in their 90s! 32 is the new 25. We'll be just fine. The problem is I have kindergarten students whose parents are WAY younger than me. That's when I feel old!

Yeah, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with him it's just that psychological milestone of 40 that is freaking me out.
No I'm not a musician, just sort of a nickname.
Thanks for the encouragement. From now until about June if it happens the timing will really suck, actually. Not just the wedding, but I am also looking for work (university professor) and jobs in my field only ever get posted at a particular time of year. Interviews are always in Jan/Feb, and are full day affairs. So if I get a job interview in another city I might not be able to travel for it if I'm more than 32 weeks along, or might have to travel with a newborn and try and pump breastmilk in the middle of the interview, or might be able to go but be hugely pregnant and have them all thinking "why hire her, she obviously won't be able to start for a while." All of that is why we waited to start until July in the first place. So ironic that we waited to try for work reasons and now we're right back to where we started. And I didn't even get an interview this year so I could have started earlier and it wouldn't have interfered with anything. Of course I'm at a point now where even if the timing sucks I'll be super happy. It just sucks when you plan so carefully and responsibly and things don't work out that way. I wish I had known. You're right, people don't talk about how long it actually takes. I'm going to talk a lot about it once I finally do get pregnant. I mean I knew on some intellectual level that it likely wouldn't happen in the first month, but I know so many people who did have it happen that way, and I really wasn't expecting it to take this long. I think it would have been easier if I had been more psychologically prepared to wait.

 

[finallyready]

CRUMBS: Awe your DH sounds amazing How sweet that is! My DH on the other hand, (is also amazing) but hates me temping. He got mad each AM the beeper went off, told me it 'freaked' him out haha. So no temping for me!

ROSABABY: Those were beautiful words you wrote about what your Grandma said! My DH is Catholic and I am not, but was married in the Catholic church. My DH is also a teacher at a Catholic school, so he is quite religious. I am very open to it. I agreed to raise our kids Catholic, so therefore, if I was to ever have children then I would for sure convert. I really do believe God has a master plan for all of us and that things happen for a reason. So I really do try to have faith that it will work out the way it is supposed to!

AND YES - my last period before this past cycle was in July (my withdrawal bleed after stopping the PILL) I hate the Pill! I had no idea it would mess me up. DR advised not to go off it until we were 100% ready. So of course, in July we were FINALLY READY (haha) after celebrating our 3yrd anniversay, so I took my last pill, had my withdrawal bleed then nada. I hear the pill can mask other problems, but my biggest issue is that I was 100% regular before I started the pill.

A lot of my friends that have children went off the pill, conceived right away and then went back on the pill for like a year then went off and had another kid. Ugh! I guess the Pill is NOT for me and I will NEVER EVER take it again. I will use other forms of BC but I won't take any type of hormonal supplement again.

PICCOLO - I agree with your last statement about talking about it once you conceive. Once (if) it happens for me, I am going to be VERY open about my struggles, and about what the The Pill did to me. I feel it is important to talk about and to warn others. I was so naive about this whole thing. Stupid shows like 16 and Pregnant don't help either! Knowledge is power, and if I had known it would take this long, I would have stopped The Pill in 2007 when I got married and just used condoms, so that when I was ready to TTC my body would be ready to go.

to us all!

 

[rosababy]

Finally, thank you. My grandma is a beautiful person, and those words really help me. I am also ticked that no one ever told us about the Pill doing this to our body. It was all "it doesn't affect your fertility" blah blah blah. Well you know what, if it means I won't conceive for a year, that's AFFECTING MY FERTILITY!!!! Oh well. I will not be quiet about it, either. Especially if I ever have daughters. Although I'm sure by that time, things will have changed and it won't be relevant anymore. Had I known how long this would have taken, I also would have gone off the Pill years ago and just done natural family planning. I was lucky, though, my periods came back right away after going off bc, and have been regular since. Just no baby yet. I'm convinced it's because the Pill messes with your cervical mucus and the little membranes or whatever that carry the sperm to your uterus. Not sure on all of the scientific names...

Oh well. Here we are...hindsight is 20/20.

Piccolo, I understand about your job and interviewing. However, just remember how long you waited to have a baby...I think you should keep trying regardless of the interviewing process. It'll happen when the time is right.

 

[arianne]

Girls!! thank you for all your support! I love you

Finallyready So count it as this is your first month trying then! I had heard about the pill affecting your conceiving chances, that is why I had NEVER taken any! thinking that it would be faster just becuase of that.... and here i am 8 months later...

Rosababy! the same here, we had planned the month we will start, to match our careers and all that...
My mom is really religious and she told me exactly the same... "His time is not your time"... and I got so upset! haha anyway she asked me to pls pray and he will listen to my wishes... she keeps telling me that she knows it will happen and that this year is my year and that all my wishes will come true... I hope she is right!
This is my 7th cycle, but entering to the 8th next week!! I have done all the tests, except for the hsg (the x-ray) I will do it in march if next month doesnt work out either... I am not feeling very hopeful this month... plus I took a pg test this morning... I couldnt help... so I know im not... I will stop playing the game "maybe it's too early to tell" is not, and has never been!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS!!! they help a lot!

Piccolo! My dh is a professor too! haha and he used to tell me that he didnt want the baby born around his teaching time (jan to april) so that is why we waited till july to try.... and now when I ask him about it, he says " that doesnt matter anymore" aww so naive... he thought it was going to happen right away...
Good luck with the interviews!!!

I am also going to share my experience once I get pg... it's so true, nobody talks about it, because I think they think they might be the only ones, as they see around themselves that people get pregnant right away... but you don't really know how long it took them to conceive... this reminds me of a song about conceiving... there are not many songs addressing infertility.... she talks about her feelings for not being able to conceive easily.... she put on hold her career to focus on having a baby... here is the video if you want to see it... I couldnt help crying "...all I want is a family, like everyone else I see... and I won't undestand it if is not meant to be..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

 

[arianne]

as soon as i got married my mom started talking to me about natural family planning and to pls not take any birth control, bc then I will have a hard time conceiving... I am glad she told me about it, but it didnt really help... I am still struggling no matter what... she works at a hospital (she is a nurse) and she sees so many couples having trouble conceiving and she told me that the pattern she sees is that they were on the pill for so long, since they were teenagers... I think that is another reason why I thought it shouldn't take me long... but there are so many unknowns in fertility... even the specialists don't understand it... that is what mine told me...

 

[arianne]

girlies! this video brought me to so much tears!!
Even though technically you aren't infertile until you have tried for a year... however all the feelings are still the same!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiT4S8ZxeR0

 

[finallyready]

Ariane The funny thing is when DH and I attended our pre-marital planning course (requirement of the Catholic church) there were guest speakers who spoke on a variety of different topics. One of the topics was Natural Family Planning, and I honestly thought it sounded like a joke! I didn't believe a word they were saying (it didn't help that they had 5 kids! AND she said how she planned on having each one) so in my head, I'm thinking, ya right, you are 33 with 5 kids, who has been married for 6 years, obviously it did not work or you wouldn't have so many kids!

I think it would have sat better with me had I heard a couple who STRUGGLE to conceive rather than one who apparently did not. I tell myself if I can ever get through this hurdle in my life that I will volunteer to be a guest speaker at one of those pre-marital classes the church runs. And from here on out I WILL practice NFP!

It's great you have such a supportive mom! My mom would always tell me I should stop taking the pills cause they can mess me up, and I always blew her off! I just assumed my DOCTOR would be the one I should listen too, not my mom! BUT mom is ALWAYS right I haven't told my mom I am off the pill, and have not shared my struggles with her! She wants to be a gramma sooo badly, that it would crush her if she knew. So I am waiting for that magical moment when I can tell her the words she dreams of hearing

PS - how many DPO are you? Why did you test????? remember, you are not out until arrives! (Confession, I POAS 2 nights ago) BFN Straight away...stupid I know! I need to take my own advise!

 

[rosababy]

My dh and I also did the Catholic pre-marital thing, and while I was mildly interested in the NFP, I thought it odd that the couples also had litters. LMAO!! I was like seriously?! It is great for getting to know your body and your cycle, though. I'll do it from now on, or something similar to it. Never going on the Pill again.

 

[fides]

ever think that maybe those couples want to have a bunch of kids? If that is the case, and they are using NFP to get pregnant instead of avoid pregnancy, i'd say it's working for them.

seriously, though, rosababy is right - learning an NFP method really helped me get to know my cycle.

 

[piccolo]

BC (specifically the Nuvaring) elevated my blood pressure, took away my libido, and even made me lose the curl in my hair! I went off it finally after about 10 years and had a copper iud for two years before I started trying. I really liked it - no thinking required, and no hormones! So once I have my kids I will go back to that.

 

[finallyready]

ever think that maybe those couples want to have a bunch of kids? If that is the case, and they are using NFP to get pregnant instead of avoid pregnancy, i'd say it's working for them.

Agreed! But the first time I first heard about it...I thought they were crazy! Now I clearly see they were not!