'Early Days' Rant....if I hear it 1 more time...

[lili_angel]

Ok Girls

So I am pretty sure this has been raised already, but after an episode at the weekend during a friends wedding I thought "Where better to rant than with my B&B pals??!!"....

...All I got was "Aah you're pregnant that's great! How far along are you" (after having spied my already bulging tummy)...to which I replied "I am 10 weeks" (Most peeps don't understand the whole 9+6 lingo so I round it up) & the standard reply was "Oh, well it's early days yet" & then they turned their heads seemingly no longer interested.

...I really had to bite my tongue, wanting to launch into a tirade of how actually the first 3 months are just about the most important seeing as that's when the baby does the most developing, & that pregnancy is valid & special before the baby kicks or you have a huge bump!!

I have desperatly been trying to think of great comebacks because no doubt someone else will have the same comment again...

Grrr ...rant over for now

 

[Charlie_x]

to me 10 weeks isint early days but anyway i think its pretty ignorant of people to just turn there heads on you!

 

[kat2504]

It is infuriating. It's like it doesn't count or something. If it goes wrong what do they do, say oh well it was early days?? Like it matters less or something and you shouldn't be bothered about it.
Yes, most miscarriages do happen in the first trimester but really, we don't want to be reminded of that non stop. It's a constant reminder that things could go wrong, as if we were not all worrying all day everyday without their help.

The correct response to "I'm pregnant" is just "congratulations! I'm so happy for you"

 

[lili_angel]

to me 10 weeks isint early days but anyway i think its pretty ignorant of people to just turn there heads on you!

Exactly! I'm standing there all excited, willing to show anyone interested my scan pic (I only show if they ask) & it's like they're thinking "Come back when you're baby is kicking, I'm not interested until it does"...

...Also when I'm aching, tired, nauseous & just wanna lie down on my bed because the day has taken it's toll on mye I swear they all looked at me as to say "Well, you're not properly pregnant yet, you have worse to come what you whining for?"..

 

[CrazyKitty]

I'm 10+1 and, although I know things can change, I don't class this as 'early days' - our LO's are technically foetus' now!!! We've been so patient to get this far and I'm sure the wait has been about as long for me as it has been for you! We have an extra set of arms and legs wiggling inside us, not to mention the additional heartbeat!

Sorry, completely took over your rant but I share your annoyance! If I come up with a come-back, I'll let you know xox

 

[sandilion]

I know exactly what you mean!!!! It frustrates me too, I think we should all come up with some come backs to when people say this. I reckon im gonna say "yeah might be the early days but they're important" or "Yeah early days when most of the baby's development is occurring!" and maybe make a joke by saying "save me!" or something to make them laugh.

But yeah, i do feel its about time people like that are given the message that early days or not they're all just as important as the others!!

 

[lili_angel]

It is infuriating. It's like it doesn't count or something. If it goes wrong what do they do, say oh well it was early days?? Like it matters less or something and you shouldn't be bothered about it.
Yes, most miscarriages do happen in the first trimester but really, we don't want to be reminded of that non stop. It's a constant reminder that things could go wrong, as if we were not all worrying all day everyday without their help.

The correct response to "I'm pregnant" is just "congratulations! I'm so happy for you"

Exactly! I am sooo tempted to just have a t-shirt saying "Yes I am in my 1st Trimester....& as pregnant as I will be in the 2nd & 3rd, only the baby will be bigger"

I am so proud I made it until 10 weeks, I was afraid but I kept myself healthy as poss, pushed through the fear, tried to help others & think positive....really don't need the ignorance of some that a pregnancy is only valid when you get movement/big tummy!

 

[lili_angel]

I know exactly what you mean!!!! It frustrates me too, I think we should all come up with some come backs to when people say this. I reckon im gonna say "yeah might be the early days but they're important" or "Yeah early days when most of the baby's development is occurring!" and maybe make a joke by saying "save me!" or something to make them laugh.

But yeah, i do feel its about time people like that are given the message that early days or not they're all just as important as the others!!

Glad you feel the same because I just think you know, the baby doesn't just appear say around 20 weeks full of movement...it's not mail order & there's a lot of hard work growing a baby so in fact the first 3 months are some of the most commendable with all that we have to face!!

 

[sandilion]

Yeah some people are soooooo rude and insensitive, i don't know how they do it to be honest! I can't believe they just turned their heads from you, that would upset me so much that i wouldn't care to discuss the pregnancy with them again. If they then came up to me while i am showing and starting wanting to talk to me about it id seriously just turn my head on them.

 

[Jennifurball]

That is extremely rude! I think weddings are a breeding ground for rudeness, when I was single, I got all the 'there there, it will be your turn one day', who said I wanted to get married, I was a happy singleton thank you very much!

10 weeks is not that early, you are nearly in your 2nd tri, I would love to be at your stage now!

I reckon it is jealousy, probably because they have nothing going on in their lives, they wanted to bring you down. Sadly I know too many people like that. Just ignore them, your baby is far more important than some random comments from people who don't matter.

 

[lili_angel]

Yeah some people are soooooo rude and insensitive, i don't know how they do it to be honest! I can't believe they just turned their heads from you, that would upset me so much that i wouldn't care to discuss the pregnancy with them again. If they then came up to me while i am showing and starting wanting to talk to me about it id seriously just turn my head on them.

I actually sat there in front of 1 particular couple (who were the most guilty of being so bloody rude) & spoke to another couple who had some modicom of sensitivity & was speaking to them (in my best loud, can you hear me aswell voice) about how the first 3 months are the most important for development & how although it's hard work I wouldn't change it for the world & that it's made the pregnancy more valid for me going through it, than just 'clicking' my fingers & poof! pregnant baby bump with kicking appears...

....I will be keeping a list of those who were so ignorant, as of when I do get my first baby movements, they will be banned from the belly!!!

 

[CrazyKitty]

Yeah some people are soooooo rude and insensitive, i don't know how they do it to be honest! I can't believe they just turned their heads from you, that would upset me so much that i wouldn't care to discuss the pregnancy with them again. If they then came up to me while i am showing and starting wanting to talk to me about it id seriously just turn my head on them.

I actually sat there in front of 1 particular couple (who were the most guilty of being so bloody rude) & spoke to another couple who had some modicom of sensitivity & was speaking to them (in my best loud, can you hear me aswell voice) about how the first 3 months are the most important for development & how although it's hard work I wouldn't change it for the world & that it's made the pregnancy more valid for me going through it, than just 'clicking' my fingers & poof! pregnant baby bump with kicking appears...

....I will be keeping a list of those who were so ignorant, as of when I do get my first baby movements, they will be banned from the belly!!!

The very last bit - I love it!! Everyone apart from DH my parents, sister and MIL will be banned from my belly and DH has already said he will punch anyone who tries it! I find it a very personal thing and those who invade my space will find out the hard way...xox

 

[sandilion]

Yeah some people are soooooo rude and insensitive, i don't know how they do it to be honest! I can't believe they just turned their heads from you, that would upset me so much that i wouldn't care to discuss the pregnancy with them again. If they then came up to me while i am showing and starting wanting to talk to me about it id seriously just turn my head on them.

I actually sat there in front of 1 particular couple (who were the most guilty of being so bloody rude) & spoke to another couple who had some modicom of sensitivity & was speaking to them (in my best loud, can you hear me aswell voice) about how the first 3 months are the most important for development & how although it's hard work I wouldn't change it for the world & that it's made the pregnancy more valid for me going through it, than just 'clicking' my fingers & poof! pregnant baby bump with kicking appears...

....I will be keeping a list of those who were so ignorant, as of when I do get my first baby movements, they will be banned from the belly!!!

Hahaha!!! It sounds like you handled it perfectly hun, that's so awesome!!!!

And hell yeah, they get no belly rubbing privileges now!

 

[pcake]

I know, I'd had a mc our first month ttc, then got pregnant 2 months later; so I heard "its still early" so much from my family! Personally, it continued til the first scan. I was so desperate to be further along, it felt like people were saying our lo didn't exist yet. Now I want time to slow down a bit!-I love being pregnant , its such a special time, and it does go quite quickly ( though it didn't feel like that in first tri!) So just ignore the comments and enjoy this special time of just u and ur baby x z

 

[lili_angel]

I know, I'd had a mc our first month ttc, then got pregnant 2 months later; so I heard "its still early" so much from my family! Personally, it continued til the first scan. I was so desperate to be further along, it felt Luke people were rating our lo didn't exist yet. Now I want time to slow down a bit!-I love being pregnant , its such a special time, and it does go quite quickly ( though it didn't feel like that in first tri!) So just ignore the comments and enjoy this special time of just u and ur baby x z

Aaah thanks so much for that comment honey...I know what you mean by wishing it would all hurry up so I could feel more pregnant so to speak, but you know I am enjoying every minute of it & have a great relationship with my little bump!

 

[boyal]

I am 9 weeks now. This period is not considered early thou.
If the people replies , its too early , they should be definetly 'ignorants'

 

[lili_angel]

I am 9 weeks now. This period is not considered early thou.
If the people replies , its too early , they should be definetly 'ignorants'

My sentiments exactly!!

 

[RoseyCheeks]

I hate it when people are so ignorant! I told a friend the other day I was 6 weeks and they said "aw really early then - it's not even alive yet"
What??!! What a stupid thing to say!! Arrgghh! whether it is 3 weeks 5 weeks 10 weeks or whatever to me- it is still a living thing! How the heck do these people think they started off! Some very insensitive things can come out of people's mouths
Xxx

 

[SamanthaYC]

I don't talk about my pregnancy at work anymore because apparently according to my boss "I'm two minutes pregnant" and "this is going to be a long pregnancy"

 

[bumpbear]

Erm, i kinda disagree with most of you. Why does everyone have to be interested in our pregnancies? It is still early days to be honest- That doesnt mean they are implying something is going to go wrong, it's just an observation of fact. It's not ignorance if they acknowledge it and then talk about something else. I don't know why I'd take offence!