'Early Days' Rant....if I hear it 1 more time...

[CrazyKitty]

Erm, i kinda disagree with most of you. Why does everyone have to be interested in our pregnancies? It is still early days to be honest- That doesnt mean they are implying something is going to go wrong, it's just an observation of fact. It's not ignorance if they acknowledge it and then talk about something else. I don't know why I'd take offence!

They don't have to be interested and we don't ask them to be but, if they ask how far along we are, it would be nice if they didn't dismiss our LO's as though they are unused ingredients for a cake....xox

 

[Mel S]

I think a lot of it is to do with the whole '12 weeks' thing - its almost as if until you are 12 weeks you shouldn't mention it and that all of a sudden you hit 12 weeks and you can and all the hardship of the first tri are not important. I personally don't agree with it and think that a lot of the reason why women have such a hard time especially when they lose babies early on is because of the whole secrecy aspect - I don't really know of anything else where you are expected by society to wait 12 weeks before you tell anyone because it is still too new - can you imagine it - oh how long have you been engaged 6 weeks - 'oh early days' then as if they expect it all to go wrong!

 

[bumphenders]

I posted a similar thing not so long ago. It really annoys me when people say that. I dont have a comeback for it either, but i know how you feel!

 

[Star7890]

I had this only last week! My friend actually said ' awww its not its fault its not fully formed yet! '

I was like WHAT? Im 15 weeks, my baby IS fully formed you cheeky cow, dont know why but it really hit a nerve with me but she was just being ignorant xx

 

[SamanthaYC]

Erm, i kinda disagree with most of you. Why does everyone have to be interested in our pregnancies? It is still early days to be honest- That doesnt mean they are implying something is going to go wrong, it's just an observation of fact. It's not ignorance if they acknowledge it and then talk about something else. I don't know why I'd take offence!

It IS implying that something may go wrong, or else why would they say something liket that? It's mostly the attitude that comes with someone pretty much saying you're not really THAT pregnant because you're in your first trimester. It's just plain rude. Everything has to start from somewhere. I'm just as pregnant as the woman who is about to give birth. We are both carrying a living person. Just because mine is younger than hers doesn't make it any less alive.

 

[CrazyKitty]

Erm, i kinda disagree with most of you. Why does everyone have to be interested in our pregnancies? It is still early days to be honest- That doesnt mean they are implying something is going to go wrong, it's just an observation of fact. It's not ignorance if they acknowledge it and then talk about something else. I don't know why I'd take offence!

It IS implying that something may go wrong, or else why would they say something liket that? It's mostly the attitude that comes with someone pretty much saying you're not really THAT pregnant because you're in your first trimester. It's just plain rude. Everything has to start from somewhere. I'm just as pregnant as the woman who is about to give birth. We are both carrying a living person. Just because mine is younger than hers doesn't make it any less alive.

Perfectly put!xox

 

[RoseyCheeks]

@bumpbear -hi, in my opinion I don't think it's a case of wanting every single person to be interested, I think it's more about the way some people behave or react in an insensitive way! For example- if someone were to say to me they was in an accident recently and lost a leg - I wouldn't turn around and say something like " oh well it's early days, it might grow back!" okay sounds a little dramatic but you get the general idea that some people just don't connection between brain and mouth before they open it lol back to all seriousness tho, in my experience when someone says to you "well it's early days" if anyone has ever probed them a little further like I have lol and asked what do u mean by that the responses I have had have been:
"it's a ..risky time isn't it?"
" alot can go wrong"
"it's not even alive yet"
"it's just a bunch of cells"
" it's not a baby yet "
yes- some of these are true BUT when you are telling your friends and family you are
pregnant you do in a way want them to be a little not necessarily jumping around the room, but just say that they are happy for you not come out with comments that your doctor may say to you, that is all just a little compassion xxx

 

[lili_angel]

I hate it when people are so ignorant! I told a friend the other day I was 6 weeks and they said "aw really early then - it's not even alive yet"
What??!! What a stupid thing to say!! Arrgghh! whether it is 3 weeks 5 weeks 10 weeks or whatever to me- it is still a living thing! How the heck do these people think they started off! Some very insensitive things can come out of people's mouths
Xxx

Aaaw mate, this comment really peeved me! How dare they say "not even alive yet".....I really do think some people have a mental block when it comes to knowledge about how to make a baby....

 

[lili_angel]

I think a lot of it is to do with the whole '12 weeks' thing - its almost as if until you are 12 weeks you shouldn't mention it and that all of a sudden you hit 12 weeks and you can and all the hardship of the first tri are not important. I personally don't agree with it and think that a lot of the reason why women have such a hard time especially when they lose babies early on is because of the whole secrecy aspect - I don't really know of anything else where you are expected by society to wait 12 weeks before you tell anyone because it is still too new - can you imagine it - oh how long have you been engaged 6 weeks - 'oh early days' then as if they expect it all to go wrong!

This really tickled me....in a good way of course, great analagy!!

 

[lili_angel]

Just thought of a comeback....

*Person "Aaah well it's early days yet"
*Me "Oh do you still get your babies delivered by stork mail? I personally like to make my own & have been baking this one for the past 10 weeks"

 

[Chiclet2012]

I don't think people realize how nerve wracking and tiring the whole pregnancy process is unless they have been through it. Even from trying to conceive, we are so invested in these pregnancies it feels like a slap in the face when someone says something like that.

I chalk it up to a bunch of things - ignorance, not knowing what else to say, or maybe even some jealousy. Who knows? I told 3 of my best friends and my family and they were elated. I don't think I will tell anybody else until I am beginning to show. Who needs these stupid comments from random acquaintances anyway??

 

[lili_angel]

*Person "It's only early days yet" or "You're not that far gone yet"
*Me "Yeah well, making a human being takes time & patience"

OR!!

*Person "It's only early days yet" or "It's not that far yet" or "You've got ages yet"
*Me "Yeah but considering only 10 weeks ago it was the size of a pin-head I don't think I've done too bad so far! Plus I made all the inernal organs too! How clever am I?!"

 

[LilianA]

ya it seems like people are not really interested unless you have a bump or ur beyond 20 weeks or so! with my first pregnancy it felt like it took forever to get to 8 weeks and I thought that I had gone a long way and a couple came over and said ohhh your still right at the beginning! I was so mad lol it really ruined my day.
The first trimester is the hardest part of pregnancy. most women are feeling like crap during this period they should be pampered not disregarded as "oh your barely pregnant!"

 

[babyb54]

Wow, I don't consider 10 weeks 'the early days' (not that their response is EVER okay, even at 4 weeks). I mean, at 10 weeks you're nearing the end of the entire first trimester.. the hardest time, the most crucial development...

Forget 'em!

 

[xAmiixLouisex]

This really annoys me also! It's like, before 12 weeks people seem to think your pregnancy isn't important. Just ignorant people. Too stuck up to acknowledge anyone else's happiness.

 

[amotherslove]

i keep getting this..and yeah six weeks (where i am) IS early days.. but who gives a shite?

 

[lili_angel]

i keep getting this..and yeah six weeks (where i am) IS early days.. but who gives a shite?

Simply but well put! X

 

[lili_angel]

Although I am sure some were well meant & only stating what they thought was only the obvious, which unfortunately only tends to belittle those of us in the 1st tri where each day is an achievement to be celebrated.

I feel its partly down to not knowing the stages of pregnancy but largely to do with ignorance. What some don't realise is that the baby doesn't become important when its halfway through but from the day your OH's best swimmer did a great job...It's also realising that the majority of the important development is done in the first 3 months & the other tri's are for growing & strengthening.

As much as the insensitivity does upset me (I'm a human being with baby emotions, it'd be hard not to), I refuse to let it take away how proud I am that I made it this far & how bloody pregnant I feel even if my bump is only small compared to those further along! I know if someone ever told me their good news, I would remember how much of an achievement it is & just be happy for them!!

 

[bumpbear]

Well, I guess I am either as hard as nails or just not very sensitive. I think those kind of comments are normal, objectively accurate and I'm not offended by them at all.

Though the person who said 'its barely alive' and the ones who mention miscarriage clearly suffer with foot in mouth syndrome and need lessons in how to make small talk with other human beings.

 

[PegLeg2na]

If I was in a mood, I'd probably say, "Hm, well your mom must not have thought much of you either when you were a 10 week old fetus." It's kind of mean...but I agree with a lot of you. No it's not to term yet but it's definitely a baby and it frickin' counts!