Early miscarriage - any advice?

[Mrsmac02]

Hi ladies,

I'm looking for a bit of advice. I had a scan today and found that there's no baby, just an empty sac. It's measuring no more than 4 weeks and I should be just short of 7.

I'm not sure if I should let nature take its course or get some help from the EPU.

DH and I are obviously upset, but I'm 34 and am keen to try to move forward.

Does anyone have any advice? X

 

[OmarsMum]

Sorry for your loss

It depends on the sac and if it stops growing or not, if it doesn't stop growing the body will not recognize the mc until much later. But again you might mc naturally in a week or 2 if your hormones drop and the body recognizes the mc.

If it doesn't start naturally in a week, go for another scan if possible to confirm the size of the sac, if the sac is still growing you can opt for the tablets to initiate the mc, if it is not growing then you have a bigger chance to mc naturally without the meds, or you can go for a D&C

Good luck xx

 

[Mrsmac02]

Thank you so much, that's really helpful. I assume the sac hasn't grown in nearly 3 weeks so maybe it will happen soon.

Do you know what the tablets are called? I'd be keen to look into the pros and cons of leaving things where possible and giving things a hand along. I know the doctors advise waiting for three months before TTC again but do you know if taking the pills would extend that because of what's in them? X

 

[OmarsMum]

I was given Cytotec. I just had a D&C on Thursday for a blighted ovum. But my sac kept growing, it measured 6w at 8w then 7w5d at 11w. It was still growing when I had 2 scans later but the growth was too slow. Cytotec didn't work for me, but it is not the norm. I don't dilate.

I think with a natural mc it takes longer for the hormones to drop?. I was advised to wait 3 cycles after my previous D&C to give the uterus a chance to heel after the procedure, I'm not sure if it's the same with a natural mc. This is my second mmc and my second D&C

This time I didn't ask about the next pregnancy as I'm not emotionally ready xx

 

[Natasha2605]

I was in a similar situation. Scan at nine weeks showed a five week sac with nothing in it. Was rescanned, no progress. Sac had start to disfigure. I took the oral tablets to get things going and the worst of the process was over within five hours and I could be at home throughout.

So sorry

I don't think taking the pills extends the time you have to wait. We started TTC straight away, fell pregnant three months after MC but had another MC , this time very early on.

 

[Mrsmac02]

Thank so for your advice ladies. I'm so scared this is their first of many. I have low progesterone and despite taking herbal remedies to help rectify it, it's clearly not working.

I feel so deflated and upset, I feel ridiculous x

 

[wife1stmum2nd]

I had a MC at 6 weeks although they couldn't tell me when the baby stopped growing because they couldn't see anything on the scan although they could tell I had been pregnant, they called it a 'pregnancy of unknown location'.

I MC naturally with lots of pain and then heavy bleeding 2 days later, I was told that with regards to a future pregnancy the only reason to wait before TTC again was to be able to date a future pregnancy correctly. We started TTC straight away as we thought if its meant to be then it will happen when it happens but unfortunately 5 months on we are still waiting but I think this might be because it's all I think about and putting too much pressure on myself

However you want to feel is completely normal, everyone deals with MC differently, there is no right or wrong way. I cried for days but gradually the crying got less and less and I started to feel that maybe something was wrong and thats why the pregnancy didn't continue which helped me deal with it a bit easier but I think about the baby we lost everyday.

I hope that things happen naturally for you and that you are able to start TTC again when/if the time feels right xx

 

[Mrsmac02]

Thanks for your advice.

I spoke to EPU today and, because the person at the private scan centre didn't write a proper report which included measurements etc, I have to start again ie I have to go for two scans a week apart to confirm blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy.

Then, if I want a 'managed' miscarriage, it will be a further week or two til they can get me booked in.

It is absolute torture. My heart is breaking and my body still feels pregnant with a baby that does exist. I feel utterly useless and upset and all I can think about is what if this just keeps happening, what if I keep getting pregnant and I have to go through this every time?

Life can be so cruel at time, I feel totally helpless and alone

 

[SpringCrane]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I had a scan that showed a heartbeat at 6 weeks last October. I had another scan at 10 weeks, and the baby had stopped growing at about 8.5 weeks. I hated feeling (and looking!) pregnant but knowing it was over. I chose to have a D&C, and I had a really positive experience. Very minimal bleeding, no pain, and I felt better knowing I didn't have to just wait and wait. It took about a week from the scan showing no heartbeat to the actual D&C, and I was a mess during that week.

I'm pregnant again, and I can't help but to just feel like it's going to happen again. I don't know if there's anything to do other than just try again when you feel ready if that's what you want. We talked about it and decided that 3 failed pregnancies will be our limit. I want another child, but just one miscarriage was hard enough. Hopefully we never have another miscarriage, but it's helped me to have a plan. I couldn't go on just trying and trying with recurrent miscarriages. Some women can, but not me.

As for the pills, they shouldn't affect TTC. They just dilate--they shouldn't put anything into your system long term. I was also told the reason to wait a few cycles is for proper dating, not health reasons. I had to use the pills 12 hours prior to the D&C to soften the cervix, and I had very minimal cramping. However, if you're doing just pills, I think you get a higher dosage than can be more uncomfortable.

Best of luck to you and your family.

 

[ItsAWonder]

I am very sorry for your loss. Currently I am experiencing my fourth loss so I can sympathize.

My first loss was when I was young - I was 20 with an unplanned pregnancy, had a d&c and was honestly relieved.

The last two happened when I was 36, both in 2013.

One was a natural MC. I did find that I had greater hormonal swings after that loss and the stress of waiting for the loss to come was overwhelming.

The second I used the pills. Now, I did not want to do this in the first place but I was w/ a doctor who I have not seen since and she refused to do a d&c. Having worked in reproductive health I was hesitant to take the pills. For many women this is the best alternative. It feels more natural and it happens in the privacy of your home. However, the rate of retained tissue is much higher than a d&c (they will tell you 5% but our clinic saw closer to 15%). This is exactly what happened to me. I had 6 hours of bleeding initially. Two days later I had contractions that felt like mid-labor pains and ended up in the ER from heavy bleeding. After one full agonizing month of bleeding and cramping on and off I finally had a d&c (with a different doctor) and was fine w/in a couple of days.

This time I am dealing w/ another missed miscarriage. We are going to do one more scan in about 10 days for final confirmation b/c my hcg keeps rising. At that point I will be over 9 weeks so we will know for sure that the fetuses aren't just hiding somewhere (I have two yolks so twins). I asked my doctor to schedule me for a d&c as soon as we know for sure.

Again, this is one opinion and it may not be what is right for you but for me a d&c is the way to go. It's safe, there is only a 1% chance of retained tissue, there are doctors there to make sure you are okay before you go home and you feel fine w/in 24 hours. I am physically able to go back to work the next day, if I am emotionally able.

The best decision in the end is the decision that feels most comfortable to you. At only 4 weeks (size wise) the cramping will not be much more than a really bad period if you wait for a natural MC or if you take the pills.

Re: waiting to ttc after - there are two reasons you are asked to wait. 1. to properly date the pregnancy and 2. to give your uterus ample time to heal. If you get pregnant before at least one AF there is a slightly higher chance of another MC due to a thinner uterine lining. It's not huge but again, this happened to me and many women I know. After my last loss I waited for two cycles and, in the end, I realized I needed that time to fully heal emotionally as well as physically. I also have a DD to show for the wait.