Egg sharing programme anyone?

[lynne192]

has anyone done Egg sharing programme? or thinking about doing it? i have seen it advertised and been looking at it and thinking it might be for us but not sure if we will be able to do it and how hard it is to get into?

anyone with any info would be great

 

[foxyloxy28]

I've had a brief look into this scheme. It's the usual IVF criteria - BMI under 30 etc etc.

Most clinics I've looked at offer the treatment free to the donor and the additional cost is picked up by the recipient.

It all sounded pretty good until I saw some small print which said that under law, a child of donor eggs has the right to obtain information on the egg donor. I think this is once they've turned 18. That really put me off looking into any further.

Hopefully some ladies will have some experience of the scheme first hand. It's definitely an interesting option

 

[lynne192]

yeah i seen this too and was a little taken back but its only if they tell the kid that they used this scheme and only the scheme itself can give the child the information you don't meet the family and there is no garentee that they will have a baby for your egg so i dunno but i worry they will and that i wont and my little one would be walking around i know its not how it is but i just little werid that way but might be our only option and know it might be only option for other people too....

 

[KJMM]

yeah i seen this too and was a little taken back but its only if they tell the kid that they used this scheme and only the scheme itself can give the child the information you don't meet the family and there is no garentee that they will have a baby for your egg so i dunno but i worry they will and that i wont and my little one would be walking around i know its not how it is but i just little werid that way but might be our only option and know it might be only option for other people too....

Hi Lynn192,

I can't talk from a donor point of view but can give you my insight from a recipients point of view. I have exhausted all avenues using my own eggs, so can absolutely empathise.

I am currently on a waiting list which can range from 6 months to 4 years. It's such a sad journey but the only one open to some.

Just the fact that you are considering being an egg donor is such a fantastic thing to do and I can fully understand your concerns.

Here is something I have taken from the HFEA website which is applicable now:

Donor-conceived people conceived after 1 April 2005: when they reach 16 years old, are able to apply to the HFEA to receive the non-identifying information that their donor provided (all information given by the donor except for their name and last-known address).

Donor-conceived people conceived after 1 April 2005: when they reach 18 years old are able to apply to the HFEA to find the information their donor provided, including identifying information. [/I]

If we are successful, personally we will not be telling our child as I believe that even though we accept an egg through an anonymous generous donor, I would be the one helping to grow this amazing life with the help of my body. Someone once likened it to building a house (lol) someone gives you the template but we would build the house etc.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do, take care, KJMM

 

[MummyIwanabe]

i think if you're considering this option it's best to speak to the clinics counselor which my clinic insisted on anyway.

our clinic had a better scheme e.g if there weren't enough eggs they'd let you carry on treatment whereas other clinics would make you give the eggs up and do a second treatment free of charge (but more waiting)

In the end we didn't go for egg sharing for a few reasons:

The cost difference wasn't massive £2k for us we would have saved but with all the issues of a child being able to contact us at 18 didn't put me off but it made me think as the counselor said...

"what if the child knocks on your door and you haven't told your children, how will they respond to that?"

"what if the donor egg becomes a child and then when he/she is 18 they contact you as they're ill and need a donor for something" how would your children respond?

How would you feel if you told your children (which they recommend you do) then they wanted to meet with them but they couldnt as the donor can't get in touch - only the other way round.

It was all questions I hadn't thought about so we personally made our decision but it was very helpful to run through things.

i think it's a great thing to do if you can and want to, just make sure you think of everything as I thought i had and in fact questions that they asked i obviously hadn't!!

to KJMM I hope you are successful in your journey for your BFP

 

[lynne192]

i wouldn;t mind someone turning up on my door nor if they were ill wanting something from me because i would want someone to do the same if it was my child etc, i will if i done it be telling my children about it and why i had to do it, i talk to my son about it even though he can't speak or understand because i want him to understand the world and be sympathetic etc.... hope that makes sense... i guess i would just be gutted if it worked for the other couple and not for us

 

[bugs]

Hi ladies my GP advised me if we could afford to pay for a full cycle then that is the best way as when you are hoping for enough good eggs for yourself and for someone else there is so much added pressure on you. It could be false economy aswell because you have to pay for your own meds it may take a couple of attempts if you egg share because you are not getting to use all of your eggs. On my 1st attempt I had 17 eggs and only ended up with 5 embryo's and we picked the best 2 the rest were'nt great and we were left with no frosties so I would have been devestated to have to give some of them up as it wasn't a great collection in the 1st place. I just wanted to give my experience of it, I think it is a great way to bring the cost down but can't help but think you are reducing your own chances at the same time xxxx

 

[lynne192]

all about the money sometimes though ah?

 

[bugs]

Definately, I think it's really cruel that some people get a couple of free cycles but if either of you have children you don't get jack shit. Because my OH has kids we have to pay so yes I am very bitter towards the NHS and the criteria list (rant over) Good Luck hun with whichever way you decide to go xxx

 

[lynne192]

i am a little bitter about that too i love my son but its unfair for my OH because he has no kids and unlikely when he is with me.

 

[kanga]

I've looked into egg sharing too and at first was against as I didnt like the thought of one of my children in the world with me not knowing them

My opinion has completely changed now I've been thinking about ivf. I dont feel the child would be mine, no more than I would feel the child was completely mine if I concieved via a donor egg. The Mum is the person who brings the child up, my egg just helped with the initial 'getting going' !

I would think its quite easy to get into hun given the length of the waiting list. There's no guarantee the other couple would concieve with your eggs either.

I dont know if the donor part is done at the same time as your part (extracting the eggs etc), but if it is, like the other poster said, there will be extra pressure on producing the right amount of eggs at that time. So may be worth seeing if you can splt the 2 processes and do the donor's cycle first. That is what i would push for anyhoo

 

[Oneday]

Hi
I looked at egg share but the criteria is quite strict. Every clinic is different but care had an age limit of 35 no tubal issues and amh of a certain level. I always seems to be one cycle and the resulting eggs are split ie 13 eggs you would get 7 donor 6. As bugs said you are reducing your chances we got 11 eggs 9 fertilised by day 3 only 4 were left had the best 2 put back, 1 took but the other 2 never made it to freeze. So out of 11 we got 1 , which was all be wanted but what if i'd given that 1 to someone else. Don't get me wrong if i'd had frosties i would have considered donating them rather than not use them x

 

[lynne192]

aw i might not be able to do it at all then because i only have one tube

 

[Oneday]

you might be ok Lynne as different clinic's policies vary

 

[lynne192]

thanks hun will look into it more soon still on waiting list for iui and will be for 9months so.

 

[Oneday]

Lynn I hope James gets a little brother or sister to play with oneday. My boy was born at 36 weeks and was only 4ib 13oz his little brother is due on his 6th birthday i hope he's thinks he was worth the wait x

 

[lynne192]

i am sure he will do, what age is your DS? james doesn't understand or talk etc so think it will be a big thing for him but time will tell he might end an only child so.. i dunno but i know i am blessed to have him.

 

[Leilani]

I dont know if the donor part is done at the same time as your part (extracting the eggs etc), but if it is, like the other poster said, there will be extra pressure on producing the right amount of eggs at that time. So may be worth seeing if you can splt the 2 processes and do the donor's cycle first. That is what i would push for anyhoo

This would defeat the whole point of egg-sharing, and would double the costs. In effect this is egg donation!

 

[hayley1982]

ive done 3 egg share cycles.i first came across it when we were told at 22/23 that we would need treatment but wasent allowed on an nhs waiting list due to bein too young of all things.there was no way we could afford our own icsi cycle so we went with egg sharing.i thought it was a good thing also that id be able to help another woman aswell at the same time so then at least if it failed for us it wouldnt be a total waste of time if it worked for someone else.im an egg sharer at the lister in london,its one of the top clinics in the country.weve done all 3 cycles there.1st neg,2nd pos but mc,3rd twin boys and we will be going back there for another egg share cycle in the future.yes you have a criteria but thats ok if you match them all.theres alot of differences so you will need to look around.as one wont take anyone with pcos whilst another will and things like that.the min eggs you need at our clinic is 8 but ive always had between 17-19 eggs on each cycle.but as we needed icsi and i have pcos not all eggs were mature for icsi and we didnt get many embies,2 /3 max.it didnt really matter to us as we werent going to freeze anyway as fresh cycle is more successful than frozen.it only takes one embie to make a baby.if you get under 8 you had the choice of donating all and get a whole second cycle to yourself for free or keeping them all and not being allowed to share again.and yes if the others get a child born of your eggs they can find you if they wish,this didnt bother us as we shall tell our boys when they are older that they may have half bros and sis out there.i have no issues with this.i know i have at least one set of twins out there as a result of my donation.i can say ive done something special by giving another woman hope of having her own children.

 

[lynne192]

do you get to find out if the other couple were sucessful? even if you don't find out thier name etc? i am really considering this for the future and think it was the one in london we were looking at, how much did it cost for the three you had done etc? what are thier cut off and like rules etc?