ehhh grandparents rights

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by lesleyann, Mar 31, 2011.

  1. lesleyann

    lesleyann Mummy

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  2. binxyboo

    binxyboo Well-Known Member

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    My In-Laws show no interest in their only grandchild.
    They didin't buy him anything for christmas and haven't seen him in 5 months because they can't be bothered. They are both retired, both drive and live 250 miles away, yet expect us to continually pack everything up and travel with a small baby to spend a weekend with them.
    If Hubby and I got divorced, there is no way I would want Daniel seeing them as they just don't care, yet, they are the kind of people that would push for grandparents rights because they can - but you can bet anything that it would have to be me that does all the running around!!

    ETA - I also wouldn't want Daniel to have any time with them because my MIL is really quite nasty to and about me. I don't want him to be subjected to her bitchiness
     
  3. Arlandria

    Arlandria Love being Mrs.C xx

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    Unfortunately there are some people in this world who use their kids as weapons, and out of spite would keep them away from the other halves family. EDIT: When the other family & OH havent done nothing wrong. If they were nasty people I could understand the reasons for this etc..

    I wouldnt have a problem with it but then OH parents are fab with Olivia and she loves spending time with them. I think it's important to know who your family are.

    Luckily we're not apart nor do we intend on being, but I'd be OK and probably set an agreement without having to go to courts etc :)
     
  4. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    even tho i hate my in laws and they treated my oh like crap, his father was also violent to just him out of their 4 children. i would never leave my children alone with them. and since my oh passed they havent made much effort to actualy see my son so doubt theyd even notice if i stopped contact!
    which i have been tempted to do for quiet some time.

    i think its totaly up to the parents who has access to their children and sometimes keepin the grandparents out is for the best!
     
  5. lesleyann

    lesleyann Mummy

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    yeah i mean my Inlaws are nasty as such but its soo disruped when there they totally undermind any type of parenting me or my Oh do i say no to something to SIL or MIL will go ahead and do it anyway, tell him off for running, and refuse to even put up a pressure stairgate while we are there even though they have it :wacko: Moan at him about his food and the MIL and SIL try to be mum..

    1st time we left him alone with them 4hours told do not take him out his not very well and dont use that pushchair its unsafe.... 5months later found out they took him out in said unsafe pushchair to so posing pictures when he was ill :nope:

    2nd time we left him 2hours 6am-8am when they where to then drop him off at my mums, they never even gave him a drink or breakfast :nope:

    3rd and last time 2hours after being snide and trying to make it 4!! still yet to find out what they did that i said no to.

    Needless to say the 3rd time will be the last untill kyle can talk properly and understand what he is saying

    I feel if they cannot respect mine and my Oh's ways of parenting and what we find acceptable with our child they have no rights to see him alone.
     
  6. midori1999

    midori1999 Well-Known Member

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    I think that it's a good idea. Presumably, if there's a good reason for the Grandparents not to see the child, they can be stopped oin the same way a father could if there was good reason.

    I'd really like to believe that parents, women especially, don't stop their children seeing their Grandparents without good reason, but sadly that's just not the case. :nope:
     
  7. amie-leigh

    amie-leigh Mummy To Princess Morgan

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    personally for me i don't think it is a good idea as my MIL wouldn't look after morgan correctly last time she had morgan for 2hours she didnt change her nappy even though she was soaking wet she didnt fed her or give her a drink even though we had provided both and we found out she had taken her in the car without the car seat which we had provided

    if me & OH ever split up i would be saying she can see morgan while OH has her or in a contact center where i know the staff will make sure morgan's needs are met even if her own grandmother doesn't

    it could be great for some families just not mine
     
  8. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    first time his mother had zane as when he was 2 weeks old, my oh made me travel up to scotland 5 hour drive so they could meet zane. well we got there and the next day i was so ill. i was being sick constantly plus the other end. i physicaly couldnt look after zane and no could be oh. the next day all she did was moan he didnt sleep! he was 2 weeks old the twat. my mum had zane before this and didnt complain once because hes a baby!
    second time i left zane with the bitch in law was when zane was around 3 months old. we came back after only being up the road to having her moan that he was crying, she even left him to sleep sitting up in a pram!

    then third time was new yrs eve, she said u go out have fun and ile have zane for the night. we came back at 1am i had had abit to drink and then was faced with her chucking zane at me saying he wouldnt sleep! hes a f*cking baby, i was fuming that she knew i was drinking and then left zane with me.

    after that i told my oh zane was never to be left with that ever and i didnt trust them anyway and they have just pointed out to me i shouldnt. i dont even no why im still letting them even talk to me when they can be arsed to that is
     
  9. Blah11

    Blah11 ☼ Mummy to Amelie ☼

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    I think it's disgusting tbh. A parent has the right to chose who and who does not see their child. Why should a grandparent get the right to see them just because they happen to be the childs mothers mother.

    Its different if theyve been a positive influence on the childs life for years then the parents/grandparents fall out and stop contact. Thats very unfair.
     
  10. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    from what i've read and from personal experiences, grandparent's have always had some 'rights' with regards to mediation during divorce and separation, this is currently a proposal to allow more rights.
    personal i think it's utterly disgusting. for me, grandparent's should have no rights, when a child is raised between two parents, then i believe it's down to them, no one else! personally i can't believe they are trying to implement such ridiculous laws. when a child doesn't see a grandparent there is generally a rather good reason behind this! i no some people use their child as a weapon, but i don't believe this is the way forward, in fact i think it's utterly ridiculous.

    this however, could only affect couples in the future divorcing, for now, grandparents have no rights. the most they could do is ask for mediation between the grandparents and parent(s), but as i parent it's your right to refuse!!
     
  11. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    have to say, totally agree with this, i suppose you have to 'trust' the parents to make the right decision for their child, at the end of the day you always do what's best for your child, even if you dislike someone.
    for example, maddi is so close to my parents, they are always there for them and she adores them, i no if something happened to me james would never stop this relationship and do everything he can to keep in going, because they're such a huge part of her life.
     
  12. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

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    Cant believe i am writing this but....

    in CERTAIN circumstances i do agree with this. Where the child has had a meaningful relationship with a grandparents and then that gets taken away out of pure spite then i do think that something should be considered for them.

    Someone told me about a lady at her daughters school. The nan used to look after the little girl alot, always picked her up and dropped her off, spent alot of time with her on weekends etc but when the parents split up all that was taken away seemingly out of spite on the mothers part. IMO that is wrong because there is a bond formed.

    Obviosly grandparents who have never had a relationship with their grandkids should have no rights as just because they are related by blood that means nothing, bonds and relationships are formed over time not something that is just to be expected
     
  13. Arlandria

    Arlandria Love being Mrs.C xx

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    Totally agree :)
     
  14. Yazz_n_bump

    Yazz_n_bump Me, Fiancé & Jack! :)

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    Ridiculous.

    If me and OH spilt I'd still allow LO to see MIL as she's a good grand parent to LO. If she was a shitty grand parent and had no interest and me and OH spilt then I wouldn't want her near LO.
    It shouldn't be a right, it's down the fricken' parents. The parents bring the child up not the grand parents. :|
     

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