Elimination Communication Support Thread

[SarahBear]

I wouldn't wait! Apparently a lot of people who wait, later regret it.

 

[readyORnot]

It is nice to finally see some action in here again. I hope everyone is enjoying their EC journey, even when there are setbacks. I started around 2 weeks. With the next i'll start immediately.

I think it does delay progress if they have to wear nappies during the week at childcare, but as a working mother I have no choice so I just do as much as I can the rest of the time. For me he never, ever poos in nappies but apparently he does with the childminders. In the last 20 months I've probably changed about 6 poo nappies (nothing recently). Everything else is in the toilet. I suspect they just aren't paying attention to his cues or toilet requests.

 

[counting]

Any advice for catching pees? Poop he is actually verbally requesting potty(By growling and saying"poop") and holding until he has access to a potty- but no cues for pee that I can pick up, and he doesn't say "pee pee" yet. So it's hit or miss when I'm at home. I can tell when he is peeing(pauses what he is doing) but by that point it`s already done. I`m just trying to tell him he is pee peeing when I see him peeing and hopefully he will make the association and start to ask for peeing.

 

[SarahBear]

Any advice for catching pees? Poop he is actually verbally requesting potty(By growling and saying"poop") and holding until he has access to a potty- but no cues for pee that I can pick up, and he doesn't say "pee pee" yet. So it's hit or miss when I'm at home. I can tell when he is peeing(pauses what he is doing) but by that point it`s already done. I`m just trying to tell him he is pee peeing when I see him peeing and hopefully he will make the association and start to ask for peeing.

Do you also put him on the potty as soon as you notice he's starting to pee? How about putting him on the potty before you change his diaper?

 

[SpringerS]

Feeling cautiously optimistic at the minute. I've stopped putting him in nappies at home but am putting pants on him and it's making a huge difference. He has now started going over to the potty and pushing his pants down when he wants to sit on it. Then standing up and pulling his pants up when he's done. It's not 100% and he has peed in his pants a couple of times and sat on the potty without doing anything. But so far we've caught all poos this weekend and his nappies have barely been wet when we come back in after being out and he does a huge pee on the potty when we get home. His night nappy wasn't even too wet this morning despite several night feeds and he had a great big potty pee after he woke. I think if I make a really big effort to tune back into him for the next few weeks we could get back on track.

 

[Longing2bAMum]

I tend to find it's all about how consistent I am with offerings, if i get off track then he stops being bothered to try, if I offer more frequently it makes him want to go on the toilet/potty rather than in his nappy. We have a lot of nappy off time at home!

 

[counting]

Any advice for catching pees? Poop he is actually verbally requesting potty(By growling and saying"poop") and holding until he has access to a potty- but no cues for pee that I can pick up, and he doesn't say "pee pee" yet. So it's hit or miss when I'm at home. I can tell when he is peeing(pauses what he is doing) but by that point it`s already done. I`m just trying to tell him he is pee peeing when I see him peeing and hopefully he will make the association and start to ask for peeing.

Do you also put him on the potty as soon as you notice he's starting to pee? How about putting him on the potty before you change his diaper?

Usually can not get him to the potty in time when he starts to pee. I was putting him on the potty directly afterwards but he wasn't seeming to understand and would just crawl off as he was done. Now if we are diaper free, etc, I tell him he is pee peeing when I see him pee on the floor, so he will know what it is called and what he is doing in case he wants to ask. We are also very part time about our pottying. So I offer as frequently as I realistically can, but I also work. I try to offer after he wakes up, and I usually get that pee.

Question about poopingwhen we are out/normal baby reaction to a miss. Joey has been only pooping in his potty. He verbally asks to use the potty. (By saying poop and growling). Last night we were stuck in a car, at night, in a rainstorm driving in an area it is dangerous to pull over(Think a road, in the dark, wedged between a plunge into the ocean and a cliff). He asked to go poop, obviously there was no way we could do that or even pull over. He asked a bunch more times, and then eventually had to poop in his diaper. He cried A LOT. I felt terrible. Is that a normal reaction? Nobody has ever scolded or said anything negative to him for using a diaper or anything like that. He has only been being pottied for 2ish weeks, and has only been verbally asking to poop for a week or so. Is this a typical reaction for a baby to have to a miss?(Well, he must have been frustrated trying to tell us he wanted poop and not being taken, and I suppose he didn't want to poop in his diaper as it doesn't feel nice, but I didn't expect tears. After all, up until 2 weeks ago, every poop was in his diaper!)

Today I've been trying to build him back up about pooping, he has asked to poop twice and I've responded quickly and he has used potty both times. He doesn't seem bothered now about yesterday, but at the time he was extremely (Think the silent, red faced cry and tears) upset.

 

[SarahBear]

Feeling cautiously optimistic at the minute. I've stopped putting him in nappies at home but am putting pants on him and it's making a huge difference. He has now started going over to the potty and pushing his pants down when he wants to sit on it. Then standing up and pulling his pants up when he's done. It's not 100% and he has peed in his pants a couple of times and sat on the potty without doing anything. But so far we've caught all poos this weekend and his nappies have barely been wet when we come back in after being out and he does a huge pee on the potty when we get home. His night nappy wasn't even too wet this morning despite several night feeds and he had a great big potty pee after he woke. I think if I make a really big effort to tune back into him for the next few weeks we could get back on track.

This is about where Violet is. My husband doesn't want to do diaper free when he's alone with her (he's a stay at home dad), but last weekend was diaper free while at home. This weekend, we were out a bunch on Saturday so didn't do lots of diaper free time. Today (It's Sunday morning where we are), I decided to do lots of diaper free time at home. So far within the space of half an hour, she has peed on the floor once and pooped in the potty twice. Her morning pee was in the potty though. We continue trying EC at night and had no success until morning (due to the "wonder weeks" I believe). I wonder if her accident was due to the fact that she was naked at the time, although she did (nearly) independently sit on the potty to poop while naked. As for during the week, she's doing pretty well most days, even with the diapers on.

 

[SarahBear]

Any advice for catching pees? Poop he is actually verbally requesting potty(By growling and saying"poop") and holding until he has access to a potty- but no cues for pee that I can pick up, and he doesn't say "pee pee" yet. So it's hit or miss when I'm at home. I can tell when he is peeing(pauses what he is doing) but by that point it`s already done. I`m just trying to tell him he is pee peeing when I see him peeing and hopefully he will make the association and start to ask for peeing.

Do you also put him on the potty as soon as you notice he's starting to pee? How about putting him on the potty before you change his diaper?

Usually can not get him to the potty in time when he starts to pee. I was putting him on the potty directly afterwards but he wasn't seeming to understand and would just crawl off as he was done. Now if we are diaper free, etc, I tell him he is pee peeing when I see him pee on the floor, so he will know what it is called and what he is doing in case he wants to ask. We are also very part time about our pottying. So I offer as frequently as I realistically can, but I also work. I try to offer after he wakes up, and I usually get that pee.

Question about poopingwhen we are out/normal baby reaction to a miss. Joey has been only pooping in his potty. He verbally asks to use the potty. (By saying poop and growling). Last night we were stuck in a car, at night, in a rainstorm driving in an area it is dangerous to pull over(Think a road, in the dark, wedged between a plunge into the ocean and a cliff). He asked to go poop, obviously there was no way we could do that or even pull over. He asked a bunch more times, and then eventually had to poop in his diaper. He cried A LOT. I felt terrible. Is that a normal reaction? Nobody has ever scolded or said anything negative to him for using a diaper or anything like that. He has only been being pottied for 2ish weeks, and has only been verbally asking to poop for a week or so. Is this a typical reaction for a baby to have to a miss?(Well, he must have been frustrated trying to tell us he wanted poop and not being taken, and I suppose he didn't want to poop in his diaper as it doesn't feel nice, but I didn't expect tears. After all, up until 2 weeks ago, every poop was in his diaper!)

Today I've been trying to build him back up about pooping, he has asked to poop twice and I've responded quickly and he has used potty both times. He doesn't seem bothered now about yesterday, but at the time he was extremely (Think the silent, red faced cry and tears) upset.

The idea isn't so much that he cooperates or pees in the potty. The idea is more that you're working to communicate where he should be doing it. It also provides him with another opportunity if he didn't finish in the diaper.

As far as the pooping reaction, I'd say it's normal. Did you verbally recognize what he was asking for? That may help, even if it doesn't fix things.

 

[counting]

Glad the pooping reaction is normal. When he asked to go but couldn't get to a potty, I told him that I knew he needed a poop, then I comforted him after he went in his diaper and told him it was okay. He eventually calmed down and fell asleep with his face pressed up against mine(I was in the back seat with him).

My idea isn't at all that he cooperates or goes on the potty. At this point it isn't really even for us about me showing him where he should go. My aim at this point is mostly for him to get an awareness of his bodily functions, and give him a safe place to eliminate if he wants to. After that, I'm sure he will eventually prefer to go outside his diaper on his potty because he will not want to be wet. Not sure how in line that is with the EC philosophy. I think if I could catch more pee, I'd be able to indicate to him when he was peeing and he would be able to see it. Right now in the diaper I can't tell him when he has gone, and he can't see what his body is doing. I started with a potty because he was recognizing when he pooped, saying poop to indicate and had went once on the adult toilet when offered. I'm not concerned if it doesn't really happen with pee for a while. He's 8 months old. And he asks to go to the potty to poop. I feel as though that is a win.

 

[Longing2bAMum]

Counting, that sounds normal to me, we've struggled with this as Loki very early on became very upset if he had to go in his nappy if we were driving and couldn't pull over, it's a horrible situation as you kind of feel like you've let them believe they can go outside of their nappies only to take that luxury away from them, Loki still now cries in the car if he has to wee in his nappy, weird because he doesn't cry if he wee's in his nappy any other time

I think the idea of EC is just to communicate with your baby about them eliminating, we use different places for him to eliminate into, there isn't a set place that he has to go, for instance in a public toilet I wouldn't sit him on the seat, we either open his nappy and cue him to wee or I hold him over a sink, in the car we might go in our "travel potty" or if it's good weather we'll go outside, at home, he goes on the toilet or the potty, or anywhere else he feels like , just as long as we acknowledge when we see he is weeing so that he can be aware of what he is doing

That's great that Joey says poop, it's always more fun when said with a growl, Loki only says mamma with a growl and that only when he wants feeding

 

[counting]

We need to get a travel potty still for when we are about. I felt so awful because Joey was very clearly communicating he needed to poop(He says poop for goodness sake, how much more clear could he have been) and I couldn't help him. Of course he is 8 months, he doesn't realize why he can't go on the potty It's all new for us. Me and LO are both learning as we go.

 

[readyORnot]

must admit I'm really excited to see so much activity in here, it's been mostly very quiet since I first joined this thread.

Just wanted to ask if there is anyone still following this thread who has been through the EC journey and emerged the other side, as I have a couple of questions but I am aware that most of the current active members appear to be younger babies and toddlers and my Angelo is now one of the older little ones in here! I feel we are reaching the end of our journey but there's probably still 3 or 4 months to go and with the additional challenges of him being at a childminder 5 days a week, plus the impending birth of my next child, I just wondered if there was anyone around who might be able to give me some advice on a couple of things or share their experience.

 

[Longing2bAMum]

I find it exciting too, Angelo has been my only role model up to this point, he's who I always talk about when i'm telling people how great EC can be I hope there is someone here to help you!

 

[Annie77]

I have stumbled across this thread & aside from a TV programme featuring a mum who practised EC I didn't realise many people practised it - especially in UK.

I haven't really read much about it but what strikes a chord with me is that when my eldest was only about 4 months and starting to sit up my aunt gave me a potty. The idea was to it her on it after meals and before the bath so she would get used to it for when she was older. I should add that, at four months, she weighed only 11lbs and wore newborn clothing so it was bizarre to see her sitting on a huge potty.

Anyway - she wore nappies most of the day as I was always out and about shopping, doing lunch etc but at home she would go without a nappy and I would sit her on potty after meals, bottles and before a bath. Sometimes she peed, occasionally pooed & other times she just sat!

At 18 months she was giving me big clues she needed to get rid of nappies but as a working mum and at the mercy of two childcare providers I thought it would be best to take time off work which made me put it off until she was 20mths.
She was completely 'potty trained' in 2 days and by 2 weeks later she only wore a nappy at night, not needing them for her 2.5 hr afternoon naps.
I went abroad without her and returned three weeks later to find she had been dry overnight EVERY night and she was only 22mths.

My 2nd baby was a bit later but only because every time she went to use potty, her big sister would steal her toy etc so preferred to go in nappy and keep her possessions!

Last week my 9mth old started using the potty and signs are good. Luckily my mum is of the opinion Erin should be nappy less as much as possible so it is only 1 day (when she is with a friend) that she will be wearing a nappy.

Good luck to everyone trying this. I can't believe there are still parents out there with 3 year olds who haven't even tried sitting them on potties!

 

[SpringerS]

I can't believe there are still parents out there with 3 year olds who haven't even tried sitting them on potties!

What I find strangest is how critical other people are of what we are doing. There was a thread about EC in the natural parenting forum last year and it very quickly drew comments about letting our babies be babies. I co-sleep with my son and he's still breastfed whenever he wants, which is throughout the day so it's not like I'm pushing him toward an independent adulthood at all. I just don't see what's so lovely and babyish about him wearing a bag of pee around his crotch most of the day.

The nappy free experiment is still going strong. I got him a pair of crocs that he can wear on his feet so we can play outside but are easy to clean if he wets himself. Yesterday I was hanging out washing and he was playing about when he suddenly started to give out. When I asked him what was wrong he started sweeping his hand at his pants, which is a sign of displeasure. I saw that he'd wet a little and took him inside to sit on his potty and let him finish his pee and he did it happily. It may be just a little thing but he knew he didn't want to wet himself, he stopped the flow once it started and was able to indicate to me that he didn't want to wear wet pants. When we're out and he is in a nappy, sometimes he doesn't wet them at all. Two days ago were out for hours and his nappy was completely dry when we got home. It's a massive change from last week when I was feeling disheartened that we'd gone backwards.

I only wish I'd trusted him to go nappy free more often sooner. I was worried about having more washing to do during a horrible winter but tbh, washing out a few extra pairs of pants is less work and easier to dry than washing and drying nappies.

 

[counting]

The past few days was really disheartening. DH was home with Joey and is not as good at picking up his cues, and certainly not as patient or on board with pottying. Combine that with a baby cutting 2 teeth at once. He had a few poop accidents, cried his eyes out every time. Pee in the potty was sporadic at best. Yesterday everything finally turned around! Daddy caught his first pee on the potty with Joey ever- which really made him motivated! The tooth finally cut, which was a huge relief as well. Now today it is almost 1pm and Joey has asked to poop 4 times, and did so on the potty, no poop diapers! We have also caught 5 pees! We have used 3 diapers today, including the one he is wearing. I call this a huge success!

 

[SarahBear]

Violet went to bed a very short time ago and she is wearing the same diaper I put her in when she woke up for the day.

 

[readyORnot]

well done violet!

 

[SarahBear]

Today, Violet said "potty" while we were at the library. I took her and she went in the toilet. I think this is the first time she has used the word "potty" to actually ask to go while in public.