Emotions so mixed

[Shelley71]

I was SO hopeful, that since this would be my first month of temping, charting, using OPKs, FF and my new CBFM, that we would for sure get the job done. But, instead, I find out that I'm not even ovulating. Talk about the biggest let down possible, and my worst fear come true.

Not only am I not ovulating, but I have my first appointment with an RE on Wednesday. I'm so mixed on how I feel. On the one hand, I'm happy that I'm getting to go to one so soon after starting TTC. But, on the other hand, I'm devastated that it's come to this.

AF will be here tomorrow or Monday, and I just don't even care now. I want to be excited that it's a new cycle and another chance, but I'm also just so put out with everything from this past cycle, that I can't find any reason to be excited.

I want to try every home remedy known to mankind, but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't bother until I meet with the RE. I just hope I get some answers pretty quick. I will not be happy if I walk out of there with no clear idea on what the next plan of action should be.

Sorry for the vent, but this is the only place where I KNOW someone will understand my mixed bag of emotions and not judge me for it.

I want to thank all of you ladies for understanding and listening.

 

[Desperado167]

Hi Shelley,Sorry u r feeling down Hun,hope u get some answers and can continue on your journey,it isn't an easy journey by all means but once u have your bfp it will be so worth it,there is always someone here to listen Hun.good luck

 

[Claireyb1]

sending you some and I hope you can get some good advice when you have your appointment.
xxx

 

[Wanna_b_a_mom]

Hang in there Shelley71. I was there last month. It isn't easy emotionally. Let's hope you get all the answers u need with ur RE.

Hugs

 

[Macwooly]

Huge for you Shelley

I hope you get some answers on Wednesday and get your BFP before long

 

[Ruth2307]

Hi Shelley

Sorry you're feeling so fed up. I wasn't ovulating either so I do know how you feel. Everyone is different but I swear by agnus castus. I took it with EPO&Starflower (great combo for a high GLA), flaxseed oil, Vit D and Vit B Complex. I took it for just one month and it kick-started ovulation for me. The Drs were amazed at the improvement in my hormone levels from my 21 day bloods. It was like music to my ears when I heard 'results consistent with ovulation'.

Just thought I'd share that with you because you never know, it just might help!
xxxx

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hey Shelley - at least you have the appointment - don't be devestated - this is a step in your journey to your end goal - and you WILL get there!

 

[Indigo77]

Shelley, not ovulating 1 month is not abnormal. You ovulated over your previous cycle. Great that you're seeing a RE...Being proactive is smart, but do try not to stress so much...it will only hinder your efforts....

 

[velo]

Sending your way. Hope the RE comes up with a good plan of action! Its good to find out the problems early and fix them quickly!

 

[dachsundmom]

Hi Shelley-

I am new here, but I thought it might help you to know that I sympathize with you; I'll never tell anyone that I know how they feel- we all handle our emotions differently. The decision to have a child is complicated enough and I know I was foolish enough to think I could just snap my fingers and will it to happen, LOL. But, here I am after my first round of Clomid, struggling with the decision to try for round two or to go it naturally again.

Whatever you decide to do or how you decide to do it, do what feels best for you and it really will work out! From your post, it sounds like we are on a similar cycle; I am counting today as CD1. If you think you'd like another buddy, I'll be here.

 

[GraceFace]

I get it, Shelley. My reasons for ttc and issues may be different, but I understand the lack of enthusiasm after a while. I hope that after seeing the RE you'll have a better idea how to move forward.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hi Shelley - just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and your appointment today - Please let us know how the initial appointment went for you.

 

[pcake]

Hi there
Just wanted to agree with a previous poster about agnus castus. Its honestly amazing. Im actually 29, so i hope u dont mind me posting here, and although i dont think i had a prob with ovulating, my cycles were long (about 46 day average) and irregular. Agnus Castus took them to about 38 days the first month, then 32 the second, 30 the third. The first month i got a bfp which i lost very early, then third month i got another bfp and am 13 weeks today! I know everyone has wonder stories about something, but it really did help me and i honestly didnt think it would. Im sure ur specialist will prob prescribe u something, but i just wanted to tell u my experience in case u ever consider trying it. We werent ttc for long, but after mcing the first month, i felt so totally helpless, it had never occured to me that ttc would be anything other than getting a bfp, being pregnant, and then having a baby, and sadly that isnt the case for so many people. I really hope u get some answers and solutions today xx

 

[Macwooly]

Thinking of you today Shelley and hoping you get some clarification on things.

Pcake - did you take Angus castus for the whole of your cycle or only for certain days of it?

 

[Indigo77]

Shelley,
How did the appointment go? Was it on CD3 and were you be able to do the FSH test?

 

[Shelley71]

I took a break from the boards because I've been kind of down. Things did NOT work out like I had hoped.

We canceled the appointment. He said he is not ready for that route right now. Part of that reason is because of their rule on not treating singles - we'd have to "pretend" to be married. In Oklahoma, if you present yourself as married then you are married according to common law (he's an attorney). He had other reasons as well - mainly stress. I'm disappointed, of course. He doesn't want to stop TTC, but doesn't want to involve science right now.

AF still has not arrived. I'm almost two weeks late. I'll admit that I'm tempted to test, but at the same time, I know there is no use. There is no reason whatsoever for me to think that I could be pregnant - things just didn't work out that way for me this cycle. I'm so sick of seeing BFNs.

I'm just kind of disgusted with the whole ordeal at this point, and I'm not planning on tracking anything next cycle (whenever the hell that's going to be). I will use the monitor again, simply because I want to give it the chance to get to know me. But, if I'm not ovulating, then there's really no reason to bother with anything else.

Thanks to the two ladies who mentioned the Angus Castus. I'll look that up for sure, but I feel like I need a break. I can't believe I'm even saying that after only two months of TTC. Ridiculous.

 

[Macwooly]

Shelley

I will keep you in my prayers and I'm sure I'm not out of place when I say we'll all be here ready to support you when you feel you want to return

 

[Indigo77]

Shelley,

Again, you may not have ovulated this cycle, but you DID ovulate last cycle, and it is not uncommon for women to have a few anovulatory cycles at any age.

If you continue to chart and use OPKs, and if you find that you get more than the occasional anovulatory cycle, it is in fact possible to restore ovulation using appropriate medication, and ovulation is successfully restored in approximately 90% of cases.

Whatever you decide to do next, we will be here to support you.

 

[GraceFace]

Shelley,

Again, you may not have ovulated this cycle, but you DID ovulate last cycle, and it is not uncommon for women to have a few anovulatory cycles at any age.

If you continue to chart and use OPKs, and if you find that you get more than the occasional anovulatory cycle, it is in fact possible to restore ovulation using appropriate medication, and ovulation is successfully restored in approximately 90% of cases.

Whatever you decide to do next, we will be here to support you.

I agree 100% with Indogo.

It's hard not to feel defeated every so often, but even FF states you need more than a couple of cycles to know what is really going on. All things considered, last month was VERY stressful for you and could very well be why it was anovulatory.

IMHO, your journey has just begun, hun.

 

[Shelley71]

I'm feeling a little better today, even though I broke down and tested and got a BFN a bit ago. I'm still not sure that I want to track everything again, but we'll see. AF still hasn't shown, so maybe by the time she does, I'll have had enough of a break to feel better.

Thanks girls!