End of May 2013 babies CONTINUED..

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Good luck with ur move omi!!

Pebble - do u have a bouncer Markus goes in ? Faith slept in hers a lot as a baby, or just on the sofa next to me! Lol ...

Char - how are u getting on ?

It's my due date tomorrow!!! Woo.
 
Hi ladies,
Sorry I've not been on for awhile. Pebbie glad Markus is doing well now and you're at home.
Hope the move was successful omni and you manage to get back online shortly.
Afm- I'm not having the best of times. I'm finally home with Louis, we left the birth center on Sunday and we have just been trying to learn to be parents. Dh is doing really well but I'm a mess. Baby blues hit day 3 and to add to that Louis lost too much weight and we were told to supplement with formula to help him gain weight. My milk didn't kicking until after then (around day 5) and by day 7 it's dried up. I can now only pump 40mls in an hour and I can't seem to make enough to feed him.
The nurses were so adamant that he needed formula that they didn't tell us just how quickly my milk could disappear. Trying to get him latched on properly seems impossible despite so many people showing me how he's got do used to bottles he won't suck effectively to bring in any milk. I just spend all day crying and pumping, even during the night. I have no idea what to do for him and when,?how to dress him, change him etc. dh does most of it and instead of being soothed by me he just cries more. We don't seem to have any form of routine, he hardly sleeps unless we've given him loads of formula and the rest of the time he's screaming for food I can't produce. I feel like an utter failure. I've been told to pump every 2-3 hrs even during the night on top of feeding him whenever he wants it and I just can't make anything other than drops. I don't know what to do. I wanted to breastfeed so badly and I don't even really know how to bottle feed ( as in how much and when). I see how well everyone is doing and I can't help feel like a crap mother. I can't seem to tell what he needs and when and he gets so upset that when he screams his feet turn purple! He gets so frustrated waiting for me to help him I can't see how he could possibly love or need me especially when everyone else seems to be so much better with him.
Sorry for the long rant I just can't seem to get this out to dh.
 
Zfbaby I'm so so sorry for you hun!!
With Marielle I really wanted to breastfeed as well. So I tried and like Louis she was just screaming her head off, head butting my boob and going absolutely mental. After a week I gave up and for her, that was the best decision I made! She got so much happier and calmer. I'll never forget the first bottle we gave her. She necked it and knocked herself out for hours. It was hard for me as I felt like I failed, but at the end of the day, it is about your baby being happy and growing well.
What we did was feed her every 4 hours 7, 11, 15, 19, 23 and appr 3 o'clock. We just looked on the side of the formula pack to see what their guideline was for the age Marielle was. And it worked really well. We also knew exactly how much she was feeding every day.
Now with Markus I tried again and it worked (so far). I think I'm more relaxed now than I was when I had Marielle. I was so stressed out with her that I couldn't even enjoy being a mum and I ended up with postnatal depression. Not very nice, but you need to be careful hun that you're not heading that way. If I were you I'd ring the Health visitor or your midwife and explain to them what's going on. Maybe they'll be able to give you some support.
It's pretty hard becoming a mummy and having this tiny person depending on you. And they can't say what's wrong with them and nobody can give you an easy, straightforward way of how to do things.
If I were you (and im not but this is from my experience) I'd give up on the breastfeeding and switch to formula. It'll be less stressful if you don't have to try and squeeze every drop out of your boob for hours and see him destroy that in seconds and then being upset as he needs loads more. It's best for you and him to see him satisfied and asleep with a full tummy of milk.
Markus has been hanging on my boob probably 22 out if the last 24 hours, wanting to feed non stop (and is still doing so as I'm typing this) and I really can't say I'm having a great time with that as I'm getting exhausted!!

I hope you're going to be fine hun, but this can't go on like that. You, your hubby and Louis need to be happy.
Big :hugs: x
 
Thank you pebbie. I really don't want to give up, all along its been my goal/reward to myself to be able to have this one natural thing between us. It just didn't occur to me that we would struggle every step and im so tired, sore and swollen.
I knew a c-section MIGHT delay my milk but not have this affect. And nobody tells you the dangers until after they've happened. Misinformation seems to be the theme since he was born. One dr says one thing and another says the opposite. We were told by one Mw to wash his face and eyes everyday. Another came along and saw dh doing this and told him never clean Louis' eyes as he'd get an infection so we stopped. 2 days later he can't open one eye due to sticky eye and a new Mw made us feel like we were abusive morons. I just keep looking at him and thinking about how perfect he was when he was born and how each day goes by we've ruined him a bit more. he gets so upset waiting for me to make enough milk that he claws at his eyes and face!!!
We've got another appt today to weigh him. I'm sure it's gone up as he's been having formula so it's no reflection on how my milk is going but I can't bear to watch him scream for food. I'm going to talk yo the Mw again about our options. I don't want to be selfish and making him struggle to get food whilst I pump drops seems selfish
 
CLH_X3 said:
Good luck with ur move omi!!

Pebble - do u have a bouncer Markus goes in ? Faith slept in hers a lot as a baby, or just on the sofa next to me! Lol ...

Char - how are u getting on ?

It's my due date tomorrow!!! Woo.
Click to expand...

Happy due date! Come on baby :)

I am getting on great Marlee is such a good baby I think I am very lucky. She goes 7 and half hours at night. During the day when she is awake she just sits and stares so happy and content. Had her hearing test done and all was good clear response came back within seconds which the health visitor said was really good news. x
 
Zfbaby getting different information definitely isn't going to help. It's time to stop listening to advise like that and let your mother instinct take over. Even if you think you don't have it, you will and deep down you'll know what to do. You just have to trust yourself that you can do it.
What does your gut tell you about cleaning his face or bathing him? You see him every day so you'll know. If you want to bathe him every day, do it! If you want to do it twice a week, do it! You'll know what'd best for him.
Regarding the feeds, I can completely understand that you want to feed. Why do you express first? My friend had the same thing and she just put her on the breast when she was hungry and then afterwards top her up with formula. So she still fed her, even though maybe only a little bit, but then she'd drink from the bottle afterwards to get what she needed until she was full. It's less stressful for you and Louis. And she was recommended this by her GP and midwife and it did the trick. She kept producing bits of milk for 9 months.
 
pebbie1 said:
Zfbaby getting different information definitely isn't going to help. It's time to stop listening to advise like that and let your mother instinct take over. Even if you think you don't have it, you will and deep down you'll know what to do. You just have to trust yourself that you can do it.
What does your gut tell you about cleaning his face or bathing him? You see him every day so you'll know. If you want to bathe him every day, do it! If you want to do it twice a week, do it! You'll know what'd best for him.
Regarding the feeds, I can completely understand that you want to feed. Why do you express first? My friend had the same thing and she just put her on the breast when she was hungry and then afterwards top her up with formula. So she still fed her, even though maybe only a little bit, but then she'd drink from the bottle afterwards to get what she needed until she was full. It's less stressful for you and Louis. And she was recommended this by her GP and midwife and it did the trick. She kept producing bits of milk for 9 months.
Click to expand...

They told me to pump first to make more milk and to keep a record of
How much he was getting. Plus it was so hard to latch him on.
 
Are you getting any more milk out yet? Double check it with your midwife as you really shouldn't be this distressed and neither should Louis. Bless you hun. You've probably heard it before but it will get better. With Marielle and now also with Markus, if I'm struggling a bit I keep saying: it's only a phase!
I wish there was anything I could do for you!!!!!!
 
oh zfbaby I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time :hugs: :hugs: sounds like pebbie has been in the same place and has lots of useful advice. I know I read on my book Ina Mays Guide to Breastfeeding, that it can be hard to establish breastfeeding after a c section. I think most of the advice was just to spend a lot of quiet time together playing, stroking, tickling and try to start relaxed as possible so that you let down. sounds like you've gotten lots of conflicting advice. you're not a failure of you switch to formula though, little markus well get everything he needs. but if you do want to continue with breastfeeding, do you have a lactation consultant or Le Leche League member (not sure if that's in the UK) you could consult? best wishes that things will get better soon xxx
 
I have temporary internet for a couple of days!

So sorry to hear about the troubles Zfbaby, it sounds like you was given some bad advice and was not supported in your decision. DS1 had so much trouble feeding that he had crystals in urine for 1-2 days and the MW's and lactation consultant reassured me constantly and came to the house with every little BF'ing worry I had. It is always sad to hear of other places that don't offer that support. Please try not to feel like a bad mum, honestly EVERYONE feels like that at some point, people just don't admit it to each other. :hugs: I agree that if you are struggling then talking to your MW/HV might be a good idea especially before your OH goes back to work and you are left on your own because that an feel tough enough even if things are running smoothly.
 
Zfbaby how are you doing hun?? What did the midwife say? X
 
having contractions 15 mins apart & had my show today. I hope tonight is my night, keep your fingers crossed for me :)
 
Ohhhhhh exciting!!!! Are they strong contractions? Good luck!! X
 
yes they are getting pretty strong! I got a bath and tried to sleep for a few hours but can't manage anymore. I think this is it for me :) I think it's still early labor because I'm really hungry and they are only about 15 mins apart again
 
Ohhhhh exciting stuff! Try walking around as much as you can. That got things moving along nicely for me
 
thanks hun :) yes good advice, will def walk around to get this moving along!! but hopefully I can get a few more winks first, I've only had about 2 hours sleep so far.
 
Ohhhhh baby face how exciting!!!

Hopefully we'll get an 'I've had my baby' update very soon :D
 
Yay good luck babyface! Another baby on it's way :) xx
 
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