Endometriosis Diary

[KrissyB]

:wave: Hi - Do you mind if I tag along and stalk?
I'm in a similar boat. Over the summer they found a 5 cm "complex ovarian cyst" which over time they've determined was an endometrioma. I've had endo issues for a much shorter time than you (at least when it comes to pain) - But it's having all the same secondary infertility issues... as if the chronic pain and knowledge of potential risks down the line weren't enough of a burden.
Plus.... it seems like so few people on these boards really get secondary infertility. Or Endo. I know it's not that uncommon but it's just been feeling pretty lonely lately.

I'm sorry I haven't completely caught up on your journal. Have you tried any sort of fertility treatment to help things move along? (Clomid/Femara, IUI, etc)

 

[babyvaughan]

We've been on this together for awhile we just update and vent to eachother! You can read back through the last 6 months we've both gone through a lot! I had surgery which 4 months later I concieved! Always welcome to join us were just here for eachothers support!

 

[Fliss]

Hiya

Clomid etc won't help me sadly as my issues are blocked tubes.

I'm allowed to TTC for 12 months (so I'm giving myself the whole of 2015) then they want me to refer for IVF.

Which will be £6K a pop because I have Nathan.

However we managed it once before so I am hoping we manage again.

I'm taking loads of supplements and am stillin the 6-month post lapascaropic procedure period.

This is my first proper cycle since my successful coil removal in early November after the damn thing went AWOL.

So we shall see

 

[babyvaughan]

Almost to second trimester! Crazy!! I have been having round ligament pains which freak me out but I have my NT screening Monday hoping that goes well!

 

[Fliss]

Period starting. Only month #1 of actual proper trying.

I know I'm wishing on stars and fairydust.

Didn't stop me sobbing.

And I nearly brained DH when he (quite reasonably) pointed out we know it might well not happen.

 

[babyvaughan]

Its just your first month I know it so hard but look I gave up 4th month post and what happened. It might not happen but its CAN happen I hope it does!! You have little nathan just keep enjoying being his momma and try make this trying fun and not pins n needles! Thinking of you!!

 

[babyvaughan]

I had scan/ob appt yesterdy baby measured a day ahead this time! Very active and heart rate was 168! We discussed c-section and he agreed to it but said he will leave it up to me if I want to change my mind. ( I likely won't the risks involved are to high) I have Ben having yellow discharge after sex for my whole pregnancy he was saying its something to do with my cervix so he will keep an eye on it. I was shocked when he said he wanted me back in two weeks for another scan & appt! Hoping he will tell us the gender then but I'm not counting on it!

 

[Fliss]

Why do I have to TTC for 12 months when they KNOW I have blocked tubes. Why do I have to put myself through another 11 months of mental torture?

Why are they making me go through this?

This post brought to you by CD 3 of Month #2 and I don't know if I can do this.

 

[babyvaughan]

There making you wait that's rediculous!

 

[Fliss]

Yes. It's to "prove" that we can't do it again on our own.

But then they lecture me that I'm "choosing" to make my symptoms worse

The pain is already worse than last month.

 

[Fliss]

Well here I am again. A suspected 7DPO. I say 'suspected' as my chart threw a hissy fit at me and decided I'd ovulated CD 7 - 3 days after my period finished. I know I've been stressed but there was NO WAY that was true.

But I had a breakdown (as OF COURSE with all my issues with pain there was no way we would have caught that egg) and sobbed all over DH.

Who then sat me down and said (I got tough love) that he knew that bloody app was wrong, that it was driving me insane, and the illusion of control was just that - an ILLUSION.

That I was stressed out enough about work (we are in deadline HELL - I am stressed to the max and having flare ups all over the place) and that the only way to solve this was to throw the app out of the window and have as close to daily sex as possible.

Actually, since we decided that? I've relaxed so much. Worst we've had is a 2-day break and that was this weekend because we went out on Friday night (hotel, meal, film the works) and I had a flare-up Saturday/Sunday.

If my OPK is right I ov'd CD 13 and we have a 'high' score so I couldn't have done more.

Expecting AF to arrive Saturday based on my predicted LP but if it's been wrong about OV it's wrong about LP so I expect the witch some point this weekend.

Any earlier and next month is screwed due to DH going away to Boston from Sunday 1st Feb - Monday 9th, but we based it on logical predictions, so here's hoping.

If she doesn't arrive by next Wednesday I might POAS. Maybe. Not sure it's worth getting my hopes up.

 

[babyvaughan]

Awhh :/ but I totally agree with DH ditch the app the stress isn't going to help! I ditched the app & opks two months before my BFP I was so much more calm! Hoping this is your month!!!

 

[Fliss]

Twingy. Crampy. Sore. Trying so hard not to hope.

11 DPO tomorrow. Sworn blind I won't test before Wednesday.

Really sad. Stupid.

 

[babyvaughan]

Hang in there! Any other signs/symptoms of either?
I've been dying all week because Saturday I find out the sex of our baby we are having a reveal party that night. I'm way overly excited. I must stay busy tomorrow lol

 

[Fliss]

Squeeeee - do you have a 'feeling'? I did and I was right - though as DH pointed out, if I'd been wrong I'd only have been out by one haha.

Maybe I'm peeing more than 'normal' but with the stress at work I'm also drinking more tea so....

And I haven't had any spotting yet and I did last month, but I've been so exhausted (thank you work) I haven't jumped DH in a few days

Possibly I'm a little nauseous/have a more sensitive gag reflex - but again I have a rotten cough that just won't bugger off...

Do you have names picked out?

 

[babyvaughan]

Well my first thought soon as I tested was it was a girl I felt that way until my 12 w scan when I started thinking about how my fiances family literally only produces boys lol. So now I'm convinced its a boy but only for that reason! All my old wives tales point girl, especially HB anyone I tell it stays in mid 160's say oh its a girl LOL.

No names I'm so picky I feel like girl names are easier so I've been more focused on boy names but the only one I kinda like no one else does haha! My fiances lastname is Vaughan so most names I like just don't flow well!

 

[Fliss]

Good luck today lovely

Woke up slightly crampy. It's gone away.

Just a waiting game now.

AF not arrived Day 1....

 

[babyvaughan]

I was crampy my first two weeks after bfp so not so much a bad symptom! Ahh I hope its your BFp but if not I'm here to give you hope to keep going! I'm so excited that I can't sleep it'd 3am here I've managed like 3 hours of broken up sleep! I have felt my scar tissue a lot recently I think as my uterus is growing its stretching the scar tissue out it makes me sore. Thankful for my Doppler to give me reassurance!

 

[babyvaughan]

Its a boy!! how are you doing?

 

[Fliss]

Yay boys rock!!!

Out. Cd2 today. Tired. In pain. Trains scuppered. Working from home today too then. Have to go in tomorrow and Friday else I'm in trouble but as I can't cope and walk I can't risk trains.