Essential Pregnancy Kit (from about.com) - Funny!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Raqual24, Oct 22, 2008.

  1. Raqual24

    Raqual24 Well-Known Member

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    This is classic - I had to post it for you girls!

    Family & Friends:

    Ear plugs to drown out the unwanted advice!

    A pregnant friend who gains more weight than you!

    A gift certificate that entitles you to 9 free bras, one for each month as your breasts get bigger and bigger.

    A book of the "perfect" responses to use for all of the dumb comments: i.e., You haven't had that baby yet?!? My god you are HUGE are you having twins?, etc.

    Bathroom Humor:

    A nice big bathtub, so your protruding tummy does not get cold. Of course, we all know you should not take a real hot bath, but warm ones feel so darn good all 9 months.

    A handicapped bar to pull yourself up those last few months.

    A catheter for home use to cut down on the numerous trips to the bathroom!

    A nine month supply of panty liners!

    Maternity Clothes:

    Clothes that actually fit comfortably during the in-between stages of... "I'm too fat for my pre preggo clothes" but not yet showing enough to get away with wearing "maternity clothes."

    A magical bra to make breasts less achy.

    Comfortable shoes!

    Work & House Work:

    Nine months off paid time off!

    Leave work free passes....about 100 of them...so when the sleepies hit at 1:30pm you're out of there!

    A maid (at least once a week)!

    A pint-sized helper to pick up things you can't bend over and pick up yourself.

    Being Pampered:

    Free pedicures and foot massages at the salon of your choice.

    A nose plug to avoid smells that make you sick.

    A magical ointment to make stretch marks disappear.

    Sleep and Comfort:

    An extra two hours of sleep a night!

    A nap time mat, so you can crawl under your desk and nap when ever you are tired.

    Food Cravings:

    I would include a driver who would happily go out and get you all of those middle of the night cravings no matter how far away they are. And would never ever tell you when you want pizza at 3 am to go eat fruit loops and pretend.

    Oh and one of those super sized ice cream bowls that rests perfectly on the belly!

    Do you have any to add to the list?
     
  2. polo_princess

    polo_princess ♥ Brookes Mummy ♥

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  3. Louise-B

    Louise-B Mummy to Kitty + preg

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    Love it!!
     
  4. Dee_H

    Dee_H Mama to Rian + Bump

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    That's hilarious...I want a kit like this!!lol:rofl:
     
  5. trishk

    trishk Guest

    A catheter for home use to cut down on the numerous trips to the bathroom!



    I would kill for the above!!!! Its what i lie in bed dreaming about when i am awake again and need to go to the loo. Then i finally muster up the energy to go to the loo only to realise i dont need to go and its just my baby using my bladder as a cushion!!!
     
  6. lauriech

    lauriech Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant! :rofl:
     
  7. Janisdkh

    Janisdkh Well-Known Member

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    Hahahhahaha!
     
  8. lolly101

    lolly101 Well-Known Member

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    I want one of those!!! I might have to ask Father Christmas!!!!:rofl:
     
  9. spoo

    spoo Mum to Harry and Emily

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    A handicapped bar to pull yourself up those last few months.

    I need one of those NOW!

    Excellent post - spot on!
     
  10. Amanda

    Amanda Mum of 3

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    That is just brilliant!! :rofl:
     
  11. Jemma_x

    Jemma_x Mummy and Engaged

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  12. Zoey1

    Zoey1 Baby Juliette Born 6/10

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    Fabulous list and so true! :rofl: :rofl:
     
  13. MarshMellow

    MarshMellow Laura, Mark, Ben and Bump

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    hehe thats great.
     

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