Every time I think I've accepted it...

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by lisaalove, Oct 10, 2020.

  1. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

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    Uhg. I know I love this little one, I really do so much. But it fucking sucks. It fucking sucks hearing the oh you can try again comments. It fucking sucks hearing the wow another boy comments. It fucking sucks that people who have both boys and girls can say oh I dont understand how you could be dissapointed. If fucking sucks that three other people in my family are pregnant with girls/just had girls. I know I will be over the moon once this little boy is here but will this feeling ever go away? The feeling of ill never have that mother daughter bond like I do with my mom, the feeling of ill never get to go to my daughters wedding or talk about periods or boobs or tampons. Hell I never even had a sister. Will there always be a weight and heaviness in my heart because I dont have a daughter or will that fade with time?
     
  2. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lisa, I saw no one responded to your post. Actually we haven’t even told anyone it’s a boy because I’m afraid of the comments. I think a lot of those feelings will stick around for a long time, but they’ll feel less intense as the years go by. Luckily I don’t know anyone close to me who’s pregnant with a girl, but I imagine that when it does happen I’ll have some pretty intense jealousy going on.

    What I did notice was with my first, when a friend of mine had a girl I was jealous, but once my son was born a few months later those feelings went away. I didn’t want to trade my baby for hers, and it helps to see that all kids (girls sometimes especially!) can be cranky and rude and dramatic. I think as mom’s of boys we picture having this perfect little girl who’s adorable and happy all the time - but reality is that a girl is equally capable of being a complete handful. I cope too by thinking - who’s to say my daughter and I would even get along? And that would be the most heartbreaking thing of all - to finally get the girl you’ve always wanted and spend the rest of your life butting heads with her.

    It’s not easy though, I find the worst part is how other people react. Like your baby isn’t good enough - it’s ridiculous. It’s easy to say to someone when they’re pregnant, but I would hope that once these babies are born, people just enjoy them for who they are and not what’s between their legs!!
     
  3. Locksley27

    Locksley27 Well-Known Member

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    i was in your situation years ago. Was just told we were having our third boy, while my SIL was having a girl. She was horrible to me because of it and tried to really rub it in my face. While we did to go on to have girls as well I will say that I dont really have that mother daughter bond with my girls that I thought I would. I am probably way closer to my sons. And whether you have boys or girls there will always be comments. We are expecting our 5th boy in Feb and still get comments even though we have girls too. People are jerks and always have to make comments.
     

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