Excitement Turns to Disapointment

[WackyMumof2]

So I had my 20 week ultrasound today and was expecting the sonographer to confirm as we'd been given 60% at my 12 week. Bad idea. Another . Hubby is so upset. I made the mistake of taking 60% for sure as she was right with DS3 and I wish I hadn't. Poor hubby is heartbroken - not because baby is healthy because that's what is most important - but because after 10 years he still doesn't get his little princess. And I feel bad for him even though he keeps telling me it's not my fault. I know it's not but I got his hopes up which is why I feel bad. We knew that the odds were 50/50 but with 3 boys that girl probably was unlikely. And my MIL didn't help those feelings of his by saying that we will have to try once more because she WANTS a Granddaughter! I mean, really?! While us having a 5th or 6th is a possibility, it will NOT be because of what she wants!! Way to go about making your son's feelings all about you! I'm sorry but this is MY body and if ANYONE is going to decide it will be myself and hubby and it will be dependent on my health as to whether my body is capable of carrying and birthing 1 or 2 more children!

It could be worse I know. There could have been something seriously wrong. I am pretty sure I am done with 4 but just seeing hubby today really upset me. This baby is loved already and that will never change but he's just always wanted his own baby girl. Hubby would like to consider trying once more later down the line (maybe) but I've asked him to let me finish my studies and get a couple of years behind us first and we will re-discuss then. We know my age is against me with me being 33 when this little boy arrives but I want that stability of a career behind us too. We KNOW that the chances of a successful (or even healthy) pregnancy are against us now but we are willing to possibly try once or even twice more.

 

[donnarobinson]

So sorry Hun I have 3 boys and I no how you feel . I would still like a girl but I don't want any more kids neither does my partner. I love being a boy mommy now
Pay no attention to your mil people always have there opinions.
X

 

[WackyMumof2]

So sorry Hun I have 3 boys and I no how you feel . I would still like a girl but I don't want any more kids neither does my partner. I love being a boy mommy now
Pay no attention to your mil people always have there opinions.
X

Her opinion made me angry! But out of respect for hubby, I kept it quiet. If we don't have another baby, he'll be okay but if we do, I pray for a girl. I don't mind being a boy Mum but some pink and a break from Hot Wheels and Lego would have been nice.

 

[donnarobinson]

lol I would love pink and girly things to I think because I lost my own mom at 21 I would of really liked a daughter to have the mom daughter relationship.
When I was pregnant with boy 3 someone I knew said to me oh that's such a shame a girl would of been worth having another when they found out I was having a boy but I don't think people realise how much it can hurt you.
I'm pretty sure we're done but if ever I do have another I would be hoping for a girl to If not i hope I get some granddaughters one day lol
X

 

[twinkie2]

Sorry dear, that's hard. The disappointment is so real and so many people feel they need to share their opinions (2 girls here, #3 is still a yellow bump, but I'm very nervous). I know exactly how you feel just the other way, my own dad keeps saying we have to keep going so he can get another grandson doesn't really help a situation that you already have zero control over.

 

[yayamama]

I'm so sorry your MIL was such a turd about things. It doesn't help, does it. Seeing my husband sad about not having his daddy's girl has been one of the hardest things for me, too. I know exactly how you are feeling right now and just wanted to send you some hugs.

 

[3boys]

What a silly thing for your MIL to say!!! I completely understand though as people are always saying stupid stuff like that to me. I also think your sonographer was really wrong to say 60% chance of having a girl as after having 3 boys it would be easy to presume thats what you were hoping for. She shouldnt of said anything until she was sure to avoid getting your hopes up. Gender disappointment is very real and people in those positions should be very aware of it. I had a 12wk scan where the woman said she wasnt sure but would lean girl i put a lot of weight in that as her knowing i had 6 boys i felt surely she wouldnt say that if she wasnt pretty sure of what she was saying. Thankfully she was right because i know i couldnt of coped if she was wrong. Hugs hun I know how awful the feelings of disappointment are! I know what its like to feel you've let hubby down by not giving him a princess but i guarantee he doesnt feel like that at all x x x

 

[WackyMumof2]

What a silly thing for your MIL to say!!! I completely understand though as people are always saying stupid stuff like that to me. I also think your sonographer was really wrong to say 60% chance of having a girl as after having 3 boys it would be easy to presume thats what you were hoping for. She shouldnt of said anything until she was sure to avoid getting your hopes up. Gender disappointment is very real and people in those positions should be very aware of it. I had a 12wk scan where the woman said she wasnt sure but would lean girl i put a lot of weight in that as her knowing i had 6 boys i felt surely she wouldnt say that if she wasnt pretty sure of what she was saying. Thankfully she was right because i know i couldnt of coped if she was wrong. Hugs hun I know how awful the feelings of disappointment are! I know what its like to feel you've let hubby down by not giving him a princess but i guarantee he doesnt feel like that at all x x x

We'd asked her to have a guess for fun but we also knew that she could be wrong. She was 60% sure girl. I mean, 40% is still a HUGE margin to be wrong. But she was right with DS3 so I figured I would run with it as she was right last time. So it was my own fault really. She's not really too sure as there was a lot of cord too but she's more confident baby is a boy and not a girl. We will ask again at 28 weeks but baby is healthy and that's what's important.

 

[3boys]

Oh of course baby's health is so important but it doesn't make the feelings any less real. Do you have a nub shot from between 12 and 14 weeks?