F.A.I.T.H. (Forsaking all, I trust Him)

[willbamom1day]

God is gracious and full of compassion Psalms 112:4

 

[Deb111]

Praying for you DEB!!!! You have to do whats best for your mental state. SO if that means anti-depressants or seeing a counselor do whats best. It doesnt make you weak but actually strong! I will keep you in my prayers hunny!! I know you have had such a difficult time with it all.

Have you all decided on the donor sperm or just waiting it all out?

Thanks MrsKC

Hubby's aunt has managed to convince him that even considering donor sperm is WRONG! It's the whole 'catholic guilt' thing and she also has a strong influence on him, being his deceased mum's twin sister. I do feel his loyalties should lie with me as his wife though

It's not like I've ever said I would use donor sperm; I'm really not sure if I would be ok with that, BUT the 2 of us had made the joint decision that IF it came down to it, we would prefer that to adoption and that it was something we would sit down with the counsellor and discuss. That was all I needed to hear right now; to just know that there were options available to us.

She's gone behind my back though, never mentioning any of the problems we're going through to me, and changed his mind. I am so angry with her but haven't said anything to her.

For now, we're researching Dr Turek and Dr Schlegel in the US (don't even want to think of the cost). We have got hubby's records from the FS and have also emailed a copy of them to Dr Ramsay in London, who is apparently 'the' guy to go to in the UK, so we're just waiting for a reply and maybe a private appt to see what he feels he may be able to do to help before we look seriously at going further afield

 

[Deb111]

Forgot to say, I'd be grateful for any of your views on the whole donor thing or if anyone knows of any bible quotes that could help me fight my corner

 

[mrskcbrown]

@cheerios, Isaiah is well. A very happy and content baby however he still has his spells like he always has. We also think he may be suffering from vocal tics, but we can't be sure. Then last MRI was inconclusive anyways, doc is still very sure it is Chiari malformation type 1 but he can't truly diagnose as he doesn't have good enough scientific evidence but based on symptoms he is for sure that's what it is....wish he could just give that diagnoses bc he is treating it that way and we have to go back every coup,e of months to check on it. If he would just diagnose for sure we could get state insurance to cover all of his medical stuff...you don't even wanna know how much we've paid for everything...

As for surroagcy, it has been up in the air....last week we thought we wanted to try for our own baby....bc we hadn't heard from the surrogacy place for a very long time..and bc I have to have 3 AFs before they can even do the mock cycle....and I didn't have that...u til two days ago anyways, I got the call today (u can see the above message) so now I am really on the fence and I don't know what to do

I really have no problem with being pregnant for some deserving couple right now...but the problem I have is if I end up in a c section then I have to wait a year BF even getting preggo with out own I'm not word about the c section or anything like that...just that LONG year of waiting afterwards so idk

Im sure surrogacy is a very tough decision as it is and then all the other stuff you stated has to make it hard. Waiting a year is a long time too. You are a good woman for wanting to do this for someone else. Im sure you will be blessed in whatever decision you make.

If it was my decision, I would just start TTCing with my own hubby as opposed to possibly waiting a year. Pray...God will reveal the right answer!

 

[mrskcbrown]

Praying for you DEB!!!! You have to do whats best for your mental state. SO if that means anti-depressants or seeing a counselor do whats best. It doesnt make you weak but actually strong! I will keep you in my prayers hunny!! I know you have had such a difficult time with it all.

Have you all decided on the donor sperm or just waiting it all out?

Thanks MrsKC

Hubby's aunt has managed to convince him that even considering donor sperm is WRONG! It's the whole 'catholic guilt' thing and she also has a strong influence on him, being his deceased mum's twin sister. I do feel his loyalties should lie with me as his wife though

It's not like I've ever said I would use donor sperm; I'm really not sure if I would be ok with that, BUT the 2 of us had made the joint decision that IF it came down to it, we would prefer that to adoption and that it was something we would sit down with the counsellor and discuss. That was all I needed to hear right now; to just know that there were options available to us.

She's gone behind my back though, never mentioning any of the problems we're going through to me, and changed his mind. I am so angry with her but haven't said anything to her.

For now, we're researching Dr Turek and Dr Schlegel in the US (don't even want to think of the cost). We have got hubby's records from the FS and have also emailed a copy of them to Dr Ramsay in London, who is apparently 'the' guy to go to in the UK, so we're just waiting for a reply and maybe a private appt to see what he feels he may be able to do to help before we look seriously at going further afield

I heard of Dr Schlegal...i think. Im wishing you the best. Im not sure of scriptures but will look into it. Have you tried googling it?

 

[Dahlia]

Deb - I know we don't talk much - but I think of you often and pray for you. In fact, you just came to my mind today before I read all this. As far as donor sperm, I think it is a decision you'll make comfortably after prayer...but I can say this...I always said that I thought IVF wasn't morally right perhaps and I wouldn't do it. But after facing this infertility journey, I can say for a fact that we will do either IVF or adoption no problem. I'm still not comfortable with the whole "frozen embryos and left behind embryos" etc etc but I do know that when having no children stares me right in the face, it is something we will do. The details we will have to consult with God and the doctor over. My opinion is that donor sperm is fine...God gave us brains and talent and some of the medicine and science that we have is spectacular - use it! If you are comfortable with it.

As far as depression - girl, I feel ya. I would suggest Beth Moore's book "Get Outta the Pit". And talk to God. Yell at him even...he won't mind. He's there.

You'll get outta this too. Promise.
Love.

 

[Rdy2BaMom]

Deb-keeping you in my prayers hon! Your frustration with your dh's aunt is totally understandable. You are a better woman than me, I would have already confronted her about it and let her know that is really, none of her business. . . but that's just me . As far as donor sperm, I would have no problem with it. My husband on the other hand, told me months ago that's not an option. I think from the man's point of view, that just says to them "I'm a failure." Using donor sperm makes them feel like less of a man, I guess you could say. He said that it would be like the baby wasn't his, and he was not comfortable with that. I know its a difficult situation, and I will continue to pray for y'all Hang in there dear, God does have a plan, and He will reveal it eventually.

 

[Rdy2BaMom]

Dahlia-how are you?? Haven't heard from you in a while! Us TTC'ers are getting less and less.. . . .

 

[Dahlia]

Hi Rdy! sorry I never wrote back on fb - I am so behind! you should journal on here - actually that's where I am - I spend most of my bnb time on my journal and a few other ladies' journals. not much new going on with us...we don't have the money to pursue IUI or IVF so we are continuing with the natural approach for a least a few more years now. it's soooooo frustrating and makes me doubt God sometimes. But I for the most part confident that he will bring us through this...although that doesn't necessarily mean a child, but I am still coming to terms with that. blah blah - that's my sob story. It only seems to get harder, doesn't it?

Hoping and praying for your IUI...keep me updated!

Edit: I'm hoping the giant bouncing bbs on my sig will give me some fertility luck. haha...I don't believe in luck, but if I did - then giant bouncing fertile bbs would definitely help.

 

[andella95]

Hey ladies....I've been lurking and praying for you and have another prayer request of my own.

Basically, DH and I are in debt due to student loans, and unfortunately I did a horrible job picking a major (something I liked but there aren't any jobs in) and I don't even have my degree yet.

The university I work at is offering a new technical certificate in Renewable Energy, and because I am staff, I would be able to get the certificate for very little money (a couple of hundred vs a few thousand). The starting salary would be twice what I am making now (which isn't a lot) and jobs are plentiful. Graduating with my BS (which I have one more class for that I can't take until January 2012) would probably mean a job paying about what I'm making now, unfortunately. DH has a head injury, and is limited in what he can do, so it's up to me to make the $$$. (Please, no advice about how to pay down debts, etc.)

I have strong mechanical aptitude and am really interested in the program, but I'm unsure because I am overweight and am afraid that they won't hire me to do things such as climbing wind turbines. I also have social anxiety and, tbh, don't really enjoy working in positions that are "people" oriented.

Anyway, it would very intensive for nine months, but I feel undecided about what to do. I just need prayer that God would guide me and that he would open doors, shut doors, and give me peace, because I feel like I've made so many wrong decisions in life, and I don't want to jump into something I shouldn't or not do something I should...if that makes any sense.

I am willing to work hard to fix things, but I don't even know what direction to take at this point. I was out of work from 10/09 until 08/10 and it was awful not being able to find a job. I'm just a janitor now, but the job allows me to take classes for very cheap and I am blessed with opportunities, but I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry if this all sounds selfish or minor, but it's consuming my mind and I can't focus because I have to make decisions and take action.

Please, pray for me!

 

[cheerios]

@cheerios, Isaiah is well. A very happy and content baby however he still has his spells like he always has. We also think he may be suffering from vocal tics, but we can't be sure. Then last MRI was inconclusive anyways, doc is still very sure it is Chiari malformation type 1 but he can't truly diagnose as he doesn't have good enough scientific evidence but based on symptoms he is for sure that's what it is....wish he could just give that diagnoses bc he is treating it that way and we have to go back every coup,e of months to check on it. If he would just diagnose for sure we could get state insurance to cover all of his medical stuff...you don't even wanna know how much we've paid for everything...

As for surroagcy, it has been up in the air....last week we thought we wanted to try for our own baby....bc we hadn't heard from the surrogacy place for a very long time..and bc I have to have 3 AFs before they can even do the mock cycle....and I didn't have that...u til two days ago anyways, I got the call today (u can see the above message) so now I am really on the fence and I don't know what to do

I really have no problem with being pregnant for some deserving couple right now...but the problem I have is if I end up in a c section then I have to wait a year BF even getting preggo with out own I'm not word about the c section or anything like that...just that LONG year of waiting afterwards so idk

Hey Guppy
Wow! So many things going on in your life. May I ask why doesn't your doc want to diagnose Isaiah as having that illness? What else is needed? And oh boy, does that mean you've been paying everything by yourselves because your doc refuses to put a name to the thing Isaiah is suffering from? That's pretty wrong, IMHO.

Hmmmm..... I find that surrogacy does open up a huge pandora box of moral dilemmas. The only thing is really to pray and read up on journals on Christian surrogacy???

Did a quick google and read a couple of interesting articles....
https://www.gotquestions.org/surrogate-mother.html
https://www.yale.edu/ynhti/curriculum/units/2000/7/00.07.05.x.html#d

Have not read any direct response to what u wrote, but they all offer pretty gd viewpoints.

Under what circumstances would u have to go for a c-section?

 

[Guppy051708]

Will pray for you hun! I totally understand what you mean by the student loan debt...thinking about our debt makes me wanna cry! Seriously, we paid $800 last month for student loans...we tried getting a non-down payment loan with USDA to purchase a home a few months ago...everything was great our credit was perfect, we were gonna get it...then they pulled our debt-to-income ration and our student loans threw us out of the program There are so many things we can't do bc we owe too much.....i hate it...its going to be the next 20 years of this and it really is overwhleming anyways, i dont mean to burdent you but i wanted to let you know i TOTALLY get what youre saying I will pray that the Lord will lead you to what you are to do. I was thinking about being a Doula and a Bradley instructor...but it all cost $$$....

 

[Terangela]

Hey ladies, I've been reading, just haven't had a chance to post. Here is what my appointment today was filled with:
Feeling a little bummed today. I had my Dr appointment and it was one thing after another. First thing was my fundal height, it had been a week behind my last two appointments and this week I am now two weeks behind. So they are sending me for a u/s before my next appointment and check for growth and cord issues. I will have to go weekly after that and if baby stops growing they will call me and send me to the hospital for an emergency induction. So they told me to keep the car seat and bags by the door and take them with me to the u/s appointments. My DD was diagnosed with IUGR (inter utero growth restriction) after delivery, so they think the same is happening this time. So then after this beautiful news I was told my cough has caused a hernia and my stomach muscle is starting to separate. Only great news I got was baby is still head down and the HB was perfect. Oi! I just hope baby continues to grow. I don't want an epidural again.

 

[mrskcbrown]

Hey ladies, I've been reading, just haven't had a chance to post. Here is what my appointment today was filled with:
Feeling a little bummed today. I had my Dr appointment and it was one thing after another. First thing was my fundal height, it had been a week behind my last two appointments and this week I am now two weeks behind. So they are sending me for a u/s before my next appointment and check for growth and cord issues. I will have to go weekly after that and if baby stops growing they will call me and send me to the hospital for an emergency induction. So they told me to keep the car seat and bags by the door and take them with me to the u/s appointments. My DD was diagnosed with IUGR (inter utero growth restriction) after delivery, so they think the same is happening this time. So then after this beautiful news I was told my cough has caused a hernia and my stomach muscle is starting to separate. Only great news I got was baby is still head down and the HB was perfect. Oi! I just hope baby continues to grow. I don't want an epidural again.

Praying that the baby continues to grow and that the baby surprises the DR with its growth! I pray that you dont have to have an epidural as well. AFM, Im getting an epidural the very first time they ask me. Me and pain are not friends, LOL!

 

[willbamom1day]

prayers for you all

 

[Rdy2BaMom]

Hi! Sorry to keep this short, but I just wanted to let yall know we did IUI today. It went great! DH had 30 mil sperm after wash and all went well. I'm on my phone in bed, so I'm gonna go for now, hope you all have a blessed Friday!

 

[somedaymama]

Rdy2, yay! I can't wait to hear about your BFP!!

Terangela, praying for you and your baby. When is your next ultrasound?

 

[mrskcbrown]

Hi! Sorry to keep this short, but I just wanted to let yall know we did IUI today. It went great! DH had 30 mil sperm after wash and all went well. I'm on my phone in bed, so I'm gonna go for now, hope you all have a blessed Friday!

I so hope you get your BFP this cycle! Im praying for you hun!

 

[Guppy051708]

Rdy, Im praying the IUI worked and you get that sweet ! I really believe it did though. Sounds like everything went great!

Terangela- praying everything will be fine hun im sure it will be

ASF, the intended parents decided to go with someone else....so onto couple #4....we've had our profile out since the end of October....i know I am called to do this (at some point in my life) but IDK, ....if we don't get this going by the first week of March we are going to try to have our own....if dont get preggo in March then we have to wait a year bc our insurance makes us pay 2 deductables and 2 coinsurance if the pregnancy spans across two calendar years oh well....in a way though, i am kind of relieved that the IPs didn't go with us bc making that decision was very controversial and a huge weight on my shoulders....so...yeah...sometimes i feel like God is playing games with me.....

 

[Dahlia]

Rdy - thinking of you! And praying...I know it has been a long time, but as soon as that IUI works, it will seem like just a few moments of waiting. and ohhhhhh, the joy in the gift from above!