F.A.I.T.H. (Forsaking all, I trust Him)

[Deb111]

Thanks for your prayers ladies

Today's appt went very well and he was very positive about our chances. I will post more when I have re-read through my scribbled notes and made some sense of it all

Hoping you two don't have much longer to wait for your xx

 

[Deb111]

So the post about today's appt with urologist is a very long one!! So I've put in in my journal - Please don't feel you have to read it but it's there if anyone wants to have a look

Keeping you all in my prayers xx

 

[mrskcbrown]

I did read your story Deb and it is awesome. Im glad you are finally hearing some positive things as it relates to TTC. God is able and you will be a testimony for someone else. Praying for you and hubby!

 

[Deb111]

COPIED FROM MY JOURNAL but I would appreciate your views on this ladies and hope it doesn't offend anyone's views or beliefs ...

So, not sure if I've mentioned this before but as Terry is a catholic and been married before, we could not get married in a catholic church and whlilst my methodist minister took part in the church of england service we had in our local village church, the catholic priests wouldn't have anything to do with it! Terry has always wanted the marriage blessed in a catholic church but even though his previous marriage was anulled by the catholic church, they wrote to him before we got married and said that the catholic church wouldn't be involved with a second marriage "until you can prove that the same thing wont happen again" ?!?!? i.e. your marriage end (as did his previous one when his wife went off with his best man).

Now I have no intention of leaving him or cheating in him, but how we are supposed to provide PROOF of the future is beyond me!?

His aunt is continually on about us getting this blessing and we have tried and tried and come up against many brick walls - so he's gone a step higher and we have now been told the reason they wont even bless our marriage at the moment is that the catholic church put a VETO on any second marriage of his! We are legally married, in a church, in the eyes of God, with a church of england vicar and methodist minister there but that's not good enough for the catholic church!

So terry's now got to go and see someone high up in the catholic church and put forward his case to have the veto lifted

Now Terry's aunt has in the past mentioned that maybe this is the reason why we're having problems!?!??!! (where's a 'steam-coming-out-of-your-ears' smiley when you need it??)

So we thought that at least the TTC problems we're having and the fact that Terry isn't interested in a sex life these days with his hormones all over the place and what the azoospermia has done to him mentally and the stress we're going through with all this would surely prove our commitment to our marriage. Surely if I was the sort of person to be so fickle about my marriage I'd have either left him a long time ago to have a baby with someone else or been having an affair to get my sex life back - but I'm still here and am certainly not cheating on him. However according to his aunt, he's not to mention any of the TTC issues as the catholic church will disapprove because of their beliefs. Why should we have to hide this like some dirty little secret?!

Oh it makes me so mad!

 

[somedaymama]

I hope you girls who are still pregnant are feeling okay! I never got to that point because I had Maggie sooner than I thought I would (39+5)...for some reason I always thought I would be late. Anyway I hope your babies come soon and you have healthy, happy deliveries!

Deb...I'm so glad that your FS appointment was hopeful! As far as your other post... I don't want to offend anyone who is Catholic but that is one screwed up system. Your marriage and your life are about pleasing GOD, not the high ups at a church. I hope that you and your husband can work out what the two of you want as far as the church goes...not necessarily what his aunt wants.

 

[NDH]

Deb, I'm happy for the uroligist report (I tranced down your journal to read it). As for your latest update, I just want to ask if it's important to your HUSBAND that your marriage be blessed by the Catholic Church? It doesn't matter what his aunt thinks, just the two of you. I know you said it's something he's always wanted, but is it that important to him to go through all the hoops they want? If it is, then by all means, even if it takes a while do what needs to be done. But regardless, ignore his crazy aunt's comment about your fertility struggles being related to not being blessed by the Catholic Church. And I would probably go ahead and tell them as well - it seems to me like it would be a big thing in your favour for having a lasting marriage. You don't have to go into detail about what kinds of fertility treatments etc you're doing etc. necessarily. But anyway, it's all up to the two of you, and you know we will all be praying for you in this and everything else.

 

[Deb111]

Thanks for your lovely supportive messages girls. Terry says it is important to him to have our marriage blessed so I am going along with it, but I don't NEED some priest to tell me my marriage is valid and nor does Terry. I just think it's something he wants, but I know he also says it would be what his parents would have wanted and it's the way they brought him up.

I have to respect that. But I very much feel that a church should be a welcoming place not a place that excludes people. My God is the same God as Terry's God and it's that God that was there when we got married. We very much wanted to get married in the parish where we live, even though we still both attend our own churches which we have done since we were both children. We got married in a church of england church and although it was nice that my methodist minister was happy to be there and allowed to take part in the service, I wouldn't have felt any different about my marriage if it hadn't been possible

 

[willbamom1day]

deb your in my prayers. remember no matter what keep God first and everything will be fine

mrskc & terangela maybe all three of us will have our babies on the same day and real soon

"A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure"
(Proverbs 16:9, AMP)

 

[2ndtimeround]

Deb, man is not God! The only opinion you have to be concerned with is God's . I speak as a minister. Unfortunately, many of my peers take the gift and anointing they have been entrusted with and begin to make judgement calls and speak in place of God instead of being the vessel that God uses . You did nothing wrong and God is definitely not one to chastise your fertility because the catholic church didn't "bless" your marriage. A man of God did bless your marriage, and that's the most important thing.

Now, you continue to thank God for what He's going to do for your and your hubby (bless you with some little ones), pray for your hubby's strength and peace (can't imagine what he's going through with the pressures from his family, church, and responsibility as a husband) and pray for your health and strength. We will continue to touch and agree with you in prayer!

 

[Deb111]

Thank you so much for your reply 2ndtimearound. I really appreciate your words and prayers xx

 

[fides]

Deb, I am not a Catholic pastor, and even if I were, I still would not be able to judge the actions of another pastor in regards to a member of his flock.

However, I can tell that you are hurt and upset about things, but I hope that all parties concerned in the matter (you, your husband, and his ecclesiastical leaders) can clear up any misunderstandings soon. Definitely in my prayers for that.

I do agree with the other poster who suggested trying not to let the aunt's comments bring you down or ignoring them - your aunt is not the authority in this instance. The truth is, we really have no idea why God allows it to be so hard for some women to get pregnant while other women have no problems, or why God allows some women to lose their children during pregnancy and not others. God's will is just so far beyond our limited human understanding. So, all we can do is try to be the best women we can in faith. Deb, if it is important to your husband to get the marriage blessed, then my opinion would be to go for it, for the greater glory of God and for the peace of mind for your husband - just another act of love for him from you as his wife. Prayers that things will go well when he meets in person with the person you were mentioning he needs to meet with. God bless.

 

[willbamom1day]

deb hope your doing well today

 

[Terangela]

Deb- my SIL got married to a catholic boy. They had to wait almost a year longer to get married because she had to wait for an annulment from the church before they could get married. Just seemed weird the whole process. Anyway, I would have to say being a non Catholic that God blesses those of us who don't have a Catholic blessed or even a Church wedding with kids. His aunt would have a field day with me! I was divorced, when my DH and I got married we got married by a JP on a mountain top... Not in a Church and not by an ordained pastor. Our JP attended the same Church we did at the time and had a strong relationship with Christ. We thought what place other than outdoors is closer to God than a mountain top? I feel our marriage is every bit as blessed as the full on Church and pastor wedding. LOL!

AFM- Well Sunday February 20th my baby finally arrived! He came fast and furious! I had my first contraction at noon and he was in the world at 2:23pm. I had bloody show in the morning and a few contractions that stalled. i bundled up to go for a walk but only a block away I had to turn back as it was way too windy and cold. -18F or -28c. It was brutal. So I came home and got all my winter gear off and bam! On my 3 rd contraction I called my DH to come get me as he was at work. He got home 30 min later. We headed for the hospital right away. An hour after my first contraction. I had 13 contractions from the van to the unit. They took me straight to triage and when trying to get into my gown my water broke and I had two contractions. My DH was sent to park and get me admitted as I was 4cm and my water just broke. We walked to the labor and delivery room that was all of maybe 24 feet away and I was 6-7 cm. They called for my epi and for a dr. No time for an epi, they were able to do a spinal block and I was 9 cm while waiting for it to kick in. The dr came in and asked how far along I was and got a little miffed when they told him 9 cm. He ran to go get changed and get things set up. Then it was time to push. 7 min later at 2:23pm he was there. We are home now and he is latching great, I wasn't positioning all that well once home so now I have a bleeding nipple that I am trying to fast track heal. Very tired today.

 

[somedaymama]

Congrats Terangela! That was a fast labor! How much did he weigh? You probably already know this, but putting some of my milk on my nipples helped with the damage from poor latching/positioning at first. Hope you have a speedy recovery; enjoy your new baby!

 

[mrskcbrown]

Deb- my SIL got married to a catholic boy. They had to wait almost a year longer to get married because she had to wait for an annulment from the church before they could get married. Just seemed weird the whole process. Anyway, I would have to say being a non Catholic that God blesses those of us who don't have a Catholic blessed or even a Church wedding with kids. His aunt would have a field day with me! I was divorced, when my DH and I got married we got married by a JP on a mountain top... Not in a Church and not by an ordained pastor. Our JP attended the same Church we did at the time and had a strong relationship with Christ. We thought what place other than outdoors is closer to God than a mountain top? I feel our marriage is every bit as blessed as the full on Church and pastor wedding. LOL!

AFM- Well Sunday February 20th my baby finally arrived! He came fast and furious! I had my first contraction at noon and he was in the world at 2:23pm. I had bloody show in the morning and a few contractions that stalled. i bundled up to go for a walk but only a block away I had to turn back as it was way too windy and cold. -18F or -28c. It was brutal. So I came home and got all my winter gear off and bam! On my 3 rd contraction I called my DH to come get me as he was at work. He got home 30 min later. We headed for the hospital right away. An hour after my first contraction. I had 13 contractions from the van to the unit. They took me straight to triage and when trying to get into my gown my water broke and I had two contractions. My DH was sent to park and get me admitted as I was 4cm and my water just broke. We walked to the labor and delivery room that was all of maybe 24 feet away and I was 6-7 cm. They called for my epi and for a dr. No time for an epi, they were able to do a spinal block and I was 9 cm while waiting for it to kick in. The dr came in and asked how far along I was and got a little miffed when they told him 9 cm. He ran to go get changed and get things set up. Then it was time to push. 7 min later at 2:23pm he was there. We are home now and he is latching great, I wasn't positioning all that well once home so now I have a bleeding nipple that I am trying to fast track heal. Very tired today.

Congrats! I am so happy for you! Im glad everything went fine for you and baby too. Hope you heal quickly too!

Im still the lady in waiting!! What is wrong with my body!

 

[Deb111]

Congrats Terangela! So glad all went well and quickly!!!

Can't wait to see a photo! xx

 

[NDH]

Congrats Terangela and praise God for a speedy safe delivery. You made it just in time and now have a beautiful baby boy!

 

[fides]

terangela, congratulations on a safe delivery! all glory to God!

 

[LaraJJ]

Congrats Terangels

Your turn next MrsKC

 

[mrskcbrown]

My baby wont come on his own. So csection is scheduled for friday and Im doomed for a life of csections after this. I will never be able to have a vaginal birth...only in my mind. Im blessed and happy though and guess I have no reason to complain at all.

Thanks for your well wishes