Hi girlies!
Well Af got me last night...



Icouldn't be more gutted. I knew that I was out but something in me thought a miracle might happen. I had to go food shopping to too and was buying my hubby some more tshirts and the aisle new to it was all the adorable christmas outfits for babies... it was like a stab in the heart...
I want this so much and it would have been perfect for it to happen at christmas but I guess it wasn't meant to be. It is not the way He plans it and I have to accept that. Sorry to be on a mega downer but it is just really hard, I know this is only my 5th cycle but I am young, healthy, don't drink or smoke and I hope am fertile! Am starting to get a bit freaked out now and wondering if it is me... can I have babies? My sister said something odd to my mum, (none of them know we are trying so my mum told me) she said that if anyone was to have problems she wanted it to be her as she knows how much I want to be a mum oneday, (I used to be kids nurse and then a nanny so my love of kids isn't too much of a secret!!) as she would like kids but it isn't as important to her as me. Now I think, what if she is right and I can't have kids???
OK, thats enough now.. I have had a vent and am going to take a walk and let the wind blow away all the negativity.... only positive here ladies!!!
I WILL get my BFP in January... (which gives me the 2ww smack on new year... nice!!

)
I WILL be chilled out and have LOTS of

not just focus on the important days!!
It WILL HAPPEN!!!!
ok my lovelies, I know we are gonna have a whole bunch of christmas BFP's so I am praying for you all.
Lord, bless my beautiful friends with your love and bring them your special gift of life, that they may bring another child to know your love as we do. Guide them through the hard times and good and support them with your spirit and guidance. Amen.
Sending out huge hugs to you all.



Aster xxx