F.A.I.T.H. (Forsaking all, I trust Him)

[sterretjie]

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow ladies, I find out the results of all my tests, and if they are all good, I get my clomid prescription. Please pray for me. though God has given me a sense of peace, I still feel I need prayer...this is the next big step in my TTC plans. God Bless and Keep you all!

i'll be praying for you x

 

[HappyAuntie]

Well ladies, we had a great visit with my sister and her family, and meeting my niece wasn't as tear-inducing as I had expected. Very bittersweet, but I made it through the visit without falling apart even once.

I can't say the same for DH, though... he was completely smitten with her (she's 8 wks now), and he had been completely convinced this was our month based simply on the fact that I mentioned having heartburn one day last week. I got a BFN yesterday at 14dpo and told him in the car at the start of our 12 hr drive home, and he completely fell apart - cried for about 45 minutes.

Made me realize two things. First of all, it made me realize how badly he wants to be a dad, and that felt good. Secondly, it made me realize that men are not the stoic iron-clad superheroes they pretend to be. This was the first month that he had known the dates... in the past I hadn't told him any of my dates, but after a little talk early in the month, he said he wanted to know everything. So this month he knew when I ovulated, when we needed to dtd, and when I would test. This one month, he knew the things I know every day, and he couldn't handle the build-up and let-down that I go through every month. I don't want it to sound like I lost respect for him, because I didn't - if anything, it just made me respect myself a little more, made me realize that I am stronger than I think I am. (Maybe having gone through that so many times, I am just more cynical about it than he is.)

So I stopped my progesterone yesterday, and today I see signs that AF is a day or so away. And as if that weren't disappointing enough, I turn 37 on Tuesday. Before TTC, birthdays were always a celebration for me. Now they're just a reminder that we're running out of time.

Sorry for such a downer post today, ladies. Disappointment, dread and PMS are a potent combination.

 

[FutureMommie]

Happy Auntie- I'm glad the visit went better than you expected. I'm 37 too so I know exactly what you mean about the age thing, but never give up. Our time is coming.

 

[mrskcbrown]

Well ladies, we had a great visit with my sister and her family, and meeting my niece wasn't as tear-inducing as I had expected. Very bittersweet, but I made it through the visit without falling apart even once.

I can't say the same for DH, though... he was completely smitten with her (she's 8 wks now), and he had been completely convinced this was our month based simply on the fact that I mentioned having heartburn one day last week. I got a BFN yesterday at 14dpo and told him in the car at the start of our 12 hr drive home, and he completely fell apart - cried for about 45 minutes.

Made me realize two things. First of all, it made me realize how badly he wants to be a dad, and that felt good. Secondly, it made me realize that men are not the stoic iron-clad superheroes they pretend to be. This was the first month that he had known the dates... in the past I hadn't told him any of my dates, but after a little talk early in the month, he said he wanted to know everything. So this month he knew when I ovulated, when we needed to dtd, and when I would test. This one month, he knew the things I know every day, and he couldn't handle the build-up and let-down that I go through every month. I don't want it to sound like I lost respect for him, because I didn't - if anything, it just made me respect myself a little more, made me realize that I am stronger than I think I am. (Maybe having gone through that so many times, I am just more cynical about it than he is.)

So I stopped my progesterone yesterday, and today I see signs that AF is a day or so away. And as if that weren't disappointing enough, I turn 37 on Tuesday. Before TTC, birthdays were always a celebration for me. Now they're just a reminder that we're running out of time.

Sorry for such a downer post today, ladies. Disappointment, dread and PMS are a potent combination.

Happy Auntie:

My DH too wanted a baby really badly. Month after month, he couldnt bear the disappointment. At many points in our TTC, he would say lets just stop. Its not happening for us, God doesnt want me to have kids, is what he would say. Then to top it off, when we went back to our fertility specialist appointment after his sperm analysis, she told him all negative things, that his count was too low, his morphology was off and basically getting pregnant on our own was impossible! DH and I left that appt and we didnt even speak. He was so angry! TTC caused a lot of stress.

It wasnt until I spoke with a minister at my church about our almost 16 month struggle, that I started to see a little "light" at the end of the tunnel. She kept telling me in Gods perfect timing, not ours. So this month, Dh and I decided to stop all meds and etc, and in 2 months if no BFP we were going to do IUI. Well once we truly gave it to God, stayed in constant prayer about it, he blessed us with a baby.

We are older too. I am 35 and will be 36 by delivery, and DH just turned 37 on this past tuesday. I said all of this to say, even though its hard, if God put having a baby in your spirit, He will bless you. He doesnt say, "Ill put it on their minds and wont give it to them". God will give you the desire of your heart and dont worry about your age. Look at many women in the bible, they were much older when they conceived. Im not saying all of this because I am pregnant, Im saying all of this because I have been where you are, and every since then....I share and help people along this journey. I feel this is my testimony and I share it with all.

Follow what the Drs are saying, but more importantly follow what God is saying. He wont lead you wrong.

Sorry this is so long.

 

[sterretjie]

Well ladies, we had a great visit with my sister and her family, and meeting my niece wasn't as tear-inducing as I had expected. Very bittersweet, but I made it through the visit without falling apart even once.

I can't say the same for DH, though... he was completely smitten with her (she's 8 wks now), and he had been completely convinced this was our month based simply on the fact that I mentioned having heartburn one day last week. I got a BFN yesterday at 14dpo and told him in the car at the start of our 12 hr drive home, and he completely fell apart - cried for about 45 minutes.

Made me realize two things. First of all, it made me realize how badly he wants to be a dad, and that felt good. Secondly, it made me realize that men are not the stoic iron-clad superheroes they pretend to be. This was the first month that he had known the dates... in the past I hadn't told him any of my dates, but after a little talk early in the month, he said he wanted to know everything. So this month he knew when I ovulated, when we needed to dtd, and when I would test. This one month, he knew the things I know every day, and he couldn't handle the build-up and let-down that I go through every month. I don't want it to sound like I lost respect for him, because I didn't - if anything, it just made me respect myself a little more, made me realize that I am stronger than I think I am. (Maybe having gone through that so many times, I am just more cynical about it than he is.)

So I stopped my progesterone yesterday, and today I see signs that AF is a day or so away. And as if that weren't disappointing enough, I turn 37 on Tuesday. Before TTC, birthdays were always a celebration for me. Now they're just a reminder that we're running out of time.

Sorry for such a downer post today, ladies. Disappointment, dread and PMS are a potent combination.[/QU



HappyAuntie i'm so sorry to hear about the bfn. I'm praying for you and your hubby. It's so true what you said about men, they sometimes seem different on how they show their emotions but they feel the pain and sadness just as much as us. I sometimes feel that my hubby is trying to be strong for us both as i'm not very good keeping strong every month when i get bfn but please remember that God knows your hearts and how much you want a baby and He will bless you with a baby, keep holding on to God's hands.

 

[Deb111]

HappyAuntie - I'm glad you had a good trip. Sorry that hubby is finding it so tough, but I'm sure it is a huge comfort to know that he wants this as much as you. And I agree; I think we should all be proud of ourselves for the rollercoaster we go through every month. I'm not saying that he didn't already, but I think he will have a new-found respect for you now he knows what you go through each month (and that's without experiencing the hormones first hand! ) and it can only bring you even closer.


MrsKC - praying for your friend in second tri - it's unimaginable

xx

 

[willbamom1day]

I have been thinking about you all and had to get a minute to come check in on ya

TTC ladies God has put it heavy on my heart that all desires come from Him and when He places that desire in your heart He will see it come to pass just not in our time. God is perfect and does everything in His perfect timing - in our mean time He is lining everything up. He knows the exact day and time your lil miracles will be conceived as well as born into this world. Trust Him, continue to pray and know that you will be a mother as God has set into play already by putting the desire in your hearts.

some verses to share

Be glad in the Lord Psalms 32:11

The Lord will receive my prayer Psalms 6:9

The words of the Lord are pure Psalms 12:6

My soul shall be joyful in the Lord Psalms 35:9

Trust in the Lord and do good Psalms 37:3

For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand Isaiah 41:13

Praying for you all

 

[mrskcbrown]

I have been thinking about you all and had to get a minute to come check in on ya

TTC ladies God has put it heavy on my heart that all desires come from Him and when He places that desire in your heart He will see it come to pass just not in our time. God is perfect and does everything in His perfect timing - in our mean time He is lining everything up. He knows the exact day and time your lil miracles will be conceived as well as born into this world. Trust Him, continue to pray and know that you will be a mother as God has set into play already by putting the desire in your hearts.

some verses to share

Be glad in the Lord Psalms 32:11

The Lord will receive my prayer Psalms 6:9

The words of the Lord are pure Psalms 12:6

My soul shall be joyful in the Lord Psalms 35:9

Trust in the Lord and do good Psalms 37:3

For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand Isaiah 41:13

Praying for you all

Thanks willbe! Congrats on 2nd trimester! I see we are right behind one another!!! When are you due again?

 

[Born2BeAMommy]

thanks for the prayers! doctors appointment went well. i got my prescription.

 

[mrskcbrown]

Awesome borntobeamommy! I hope the clomid works in your favor.

 

[willbamom1day]

mrskc my due date was moved up a day at my 12 week ultra sound so due date is 2/27/11

born2be great news about the doc

 

[Terangela]

MrsKC & Willbe- Think it is kinda neat that we are all 5 days apart (if I read the ticker right). MrsKC in front, I am due on the 22nd so 5 days later and then you Willbe are 5 days after me.

 

[Darkest]

MrsKC & Willbe- Think it is kinda neat that we are all 5 days apart (if I read the ticker right). MrsKC in front, I am due on the 22nd so 5 days later and then you Willbe are 5 days after me.

Awww that is so neat! But, is that the order you'll all give birth???

Hope everyone is well. I'm booked for a TransVaginal scan to see what's going on in there. Having a break from TTC for a couple of months, just until the results of the scan are back and also DH's SA results(which he has to redo in a month because they did the wrong test the first time!)
Do you know what i find weird, all my friends on the forum i have got to know only for a few months. When you get your BFP's i am genuinely happy for you all, and my posts are sincere. But, my friends on FB(some of whom had 'accident' babies) i feel so jealous and resentful and find it hard to be sincere with them. Perhaps it's because we're all trying so hard that we can relate to each other and know how hard it can be so when someone here gets their BFP it is wondrous.

Happy Auntie, hope both you and DH are feeling better today. You WILL get your turn.

Mrskc, tera and willb(and anyone else i've missed), hope your all enjoying pregnancy and feeling well. I don't know about you but the time is flying. Can't believe how much time has passed since you all announced your BFP's!

 

[Deb111]

I agree about the BFP announcements. I think, as you said, it's partly cos we know each other's stories and how much these babies are planned and wanted - unlike some you hear about in the FB / real world, but I also think the announcements on here are done with a lot more sensitivity than many in the FB / real world! I supposem also everyone on here knows we're all trying wheras other often don't.

Hope everyone is well xx

 

[HappyAuntie]

Thanks, Darkest - we are both feeling much better now. AF is almost gone, and I am feeling my hope return and I'm ready to try again. That's a great feeling.

Looking at my calendar, though, this cycle is going to be so awkward - my parents will be visiting us while I'm o'ing, so we'll have to with my parents in the next room! I hate it when I have to be quiet!

 

[mrskcbrown]

Wow, I didnt realize that we were all 5 days a part. How cool! Praying for a safe delivery for all.

Also Im praying for a VBAC, I do not want to have another caeserean again. I think they are happening too frequently because doctors are getting impatient. I will fight tooth and nail not to have one! My DR has said that if I go into natural labor I can have a VBAC, but if I have to be induced, I have to have a caesarean.

Have a great monday!

 

[Terangela]

Ecclesiastes 5:2-3> 2 Do not be rash with your mouth, And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; Therefore let your words be few. 3 For a dream comes through much activity, And a fool’s voice is known by his many words.

I think too often people just start talking and don't think of 1. their audience or 2. their audiences feelings or situation. I often chatter on and spill out all my thoughts but with certain situations I remember this verse and remember to choose my words and pray before talking with people. My dear friend has two difficult situations she is going through. 1. Her oldest DD (a month younger than my DD) is a brat. She is out of control at times and is disrespectful to adults and well I have a hard time being around her DD. 2. Her and I started to TTC at the same time for our 3rd our CY were only a few days apart. She got PG the first month and then MCed shortly after. I got PG on my second CY and she has been TTC again ever since her MC. I am PG and another gal we have both gotten close to over the last year also is PG now. We get together weekly for Bible study and over the summer our group got together socially. I think it has to be hard wanting something so badly and hanging out with two ladies every week in your circle of friends that have what you want. Mine is a drug baby and the other one happened with out really trying (first month off the pill and they weren't timing anything...). So I really have to pray before I get together with her or talk to her or send her an email or FB message. I want to make sure I am not saying anything that would be hurtful but rather uplifting and encouraging.

Just a side note about me: Here is what I struggle with. I come from a home where my parents were very negative about everything and I feel I often look at the glass 1/2 empty. I don't want to be that person. I want to be an encourager. However I don't want to come across as a know it all or preachy. I want to make sure that I 1. don't say something hurtful to people, 2. that I am saying things with out a negative undertone and 3. I don't want to gossip.

 

[cheerios]

Do you know what i find weird, all my friends on the forum i have got to know only for a few months. When you get your BFP's i am genuinely happy for you all, and my posts are sincere. But, my friends on FB(some of whom had 'accident' babies) i feel so jealous and resentful and find it hard to be sincere with them. Perhaps it's because we're all trying so hard that we can relate to each other and know how hard it can be so when someone here gets their BFP it is wondrous.

Hey Darkest
I can completely understand!!! Really. I suppose I will never know if my friends on FB had problems TTCing and whether their baby is like "quick" or took a long time to arrive. But it does feel like they didn't have problems conceiving. I find that I really need to guard my heart, ESPECIALLY when they are Christians too.

I struggle with the we believe in the same God, but God chose to grant them their baby first, even though I'm pretty sure I started TTCing first. Sorta like "Sorry Lord, but I thought I got into the queue earlier than the others. Why are the others getting the things they want first?"

I know I shouldn't question God, cos God is God and He is allowed to do whatever He wants. But I do struggle with being honest with God and yet knowing that this IS unfair. In Bible school, some speaker said, God isn't fair, but He is just- He used the parable of the talents to illustrate his point. Fairness would be everybody receiving the same number of talents. But the stewards got different number of talents. But God is just. He will judge us according to what we have been given.

I suppose that would mean, if I've been "given" a longer TTC journey, I would be rewarded according too???

Anyway, its great to talk about issues like this here.

 

[cheerios]

Ecclesiastes 5:2-3> 2 Do not be rash with your mouth, And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; Therefore let your words be few. 3 For a dream comes through much activity, And a fool’s voice is known by his many words.

I think too often people just start talking and don't think of 1. their audience or 2. their audiences feelings or situation. I often chatter on and spill out all my thoughts but with certain situations I remember this verse and remember to choose my words and pray before talking with people. My dear friend has two difficult situations she is going through. 1. Her oldest DD (a month younger than my DD) is a brat. She is out of control at times and is disrespectful to adults and well I have a hard time being around her DD. 2. Her and I started to TTC at the same time for our 3rd our CY were only a few days apart. She got PG the first month and then MCed shortly after. I got PG on my second CY and she has been TTC again ever since her MC. I am PG and another gal we have both gotten close to over the last year also is PG now. We get together weekly for Bible study and over the summer our group got together socially. I think it has to be hard wanting something so badly and hanging out with two ladies every week in your circle of friends that have what you want. Mine is a drug baby and the other one happened with out really trying (first month off the pill and they weren't timing anything...). So I really have to pray before I get together with her or talk to her or send her an email or FB message. I want to make sure I am not saying anything that would be hurtful but rather uplifting and encouraging.

Just a side note about me: Here is what I struggle with. I come from a home where my parents were very negative about everything and I feel I often look at the glass 1/2 empty. I don't want to be that person. I want to be an encourager. However I don't want to come across as a know it all or preachy. I want to make sure that I 1. don't say something hurtful to people, 2. that I am saying things with out a negative undertone and 3. I don't want to gossip.

Hey Terangela

Thanks for sharing so honestly. I think its great that you pray before you get together with the others, so you guard your heart and your mouth too. Its never easy, but its great that you make the effort to.

I can agree with you. My dad was never satisfied with any of us in the family. It got to the point that none of his children even tried to reach his unattainable standards anymore. Dad even looked down on my Mom, for the fact that she worked for the government all her life and never really earned as much as money as he did, working for the private sector.

This rubbed off me, in the sense that I keep trying to compare myself to others to try and see if "I'm ok", or if I'm keeping up with the others. With TTCing, its like "Oh no, I've been married 4.5 yrs already and still have no baby"... I'm not surprised if my relatives in Singapore already think we might be infertile.

THat's why I love Joyce Meyer. Its amazing how God used all the difficult episodes in her life to make something beyond beautiful out of it. She speaks out of the pain that God brought her through. So many things that she preaches, she preaches from the heart because she's "been there, done that". I'm always so ministered by her sermons....speaking of which, I should listen to them again.

 

[camishantel]

need some prayers ... so far everything is going good but am so scared as I have lost 4 now... just need to get past the next couple of weeks...