Fairly sure I'm miscarrying :(

[Destiny08]

So i'll start by saying I'm a mum of a 4 year old surprise baby, I have PCOS and 'am' now 9 weeks pregnant with a baby we spent almost 3 years trying for...

I remember I had bleeding at 11 weeks with my daughter and all was absolutely fine, but I had spotting about 2 weeks ago (and took a pregnancy test after it had stopped, which was still positive) and had my first midwife appointment on Weds.. I had spotting from Weds night, spotting all day yesterday (only a tiny bit of brown) and today woke up cramping. and now I'm bleeding too, I've passed a couple of small clots and a lot that looked like mud almost (tmi, sorry) it's still mostly dark brown and the clots are almost black but every now and then, and mostly when i wipe, i get some watery red blood..

anything on the pad is brown, but I've gone through 3 pads today..

suffice to say I'm about 99% sure I'm miscarrying and I'm devastated I have an early scan booked for Tuesday but again...pretty sure it's over.

I've always wanted more children, but after the 3 years trying, the pure joy at being pregnant and now losing it, I don't know if I can go through it again

How do you...move on from it? Like, I've told my daughter...but how do I explain it to a 4 year old? and how do I get past the fear of it happening again to try again?

Just don't know what to do

 

[cupcake23]

I'm sorry you are going through this. The same thing has happened to me recently, spotting and cramping following with red loss on wiping... It did not end well for me, I'm hoping your scan shows differently.

Everything is still raw for me so I really don't know what to say to make you feel any better, all I know is that you will have to take it one day at a time xxx

 

[lesondemavie]

I'm so sorry you are going through this . It is so hard to lose a baby that is loved and so very much wanted. MC is devastating.

I went through an MMC with my very first pregnancy just over two months ago, and I am now in my second cycle back TTC. I certainly haven't moved on, and I don't know that I ever will. I think it will always hurt when I think about the baby I lost. It's more like there's this sadness in my core, but I'm learning to live with it. I have more good days than bad ones, but there are still moments that catch me off guard and turn me into a blubbering mess. The first time back BDing for TTC, I cried. The first tww that I thought I could potentially be pg with a new baby, I cried. My heart still so desperately wanted the baby I had and lost. I think I had to go through all that to get here though. This second cycle is easier. I'm now in this weird fog of sadness for what we lost, but hope for what might be. The thought of a new baby now makes me smile rather than cry. There are more hurdles ahead, but I know I can get over them. As for the fear, well I'm not really dealing with that yet. I imagine the next time I see those two lines my heart will fill with both hope and fear - heck I might even cry (and not the happy kind of cry). I figure I'll do my best to clear that hurdle when I get there. One day at a time is really the best I can do right now.

Not sure if that makes sense or helps any. Life and TTC after mc is a strange mix of so many emotions that can be hard to explain. All I know is that I still so very much want to be a mom, so onward I march, facing my fears and letting myself feel what I feel each moment.

 

[Destiny08]

Thanks for the support ladies I know miscarriages happen, but I never thought it would happen to me

I know it's very little consolation to most women and I'd never say it to anyone else who suffered a miscarriage, but at least I know now that I CAN get pregnant again, which is something I was doubting over the 3 years of trying (and I'm not entitled to IVF on the NHS as I already have a child)

I did take a pregnancy test last night, to confirm it for me, since I know the hormones usually drop off quite early in a miscarriage. but it was still a very strong positive. (far darker than the test line) I know that means very little but I cant help but hope since I had 4 days of cramping and bleeding in my first pregnancy.

Going to buy more tests today to take this weekend lol. just so I can keep track of it for myself. I'll still be expecting them to confirm the negative on Tuesday though, or at the very least to tell me I'm on my way to a miscarriage.

Thanks again for the words of comfort. I will keep this updated (I need somewhere to vent when I have my tough moments!)

 

[cupcake23]

Could you go to an EPU to get seen sooner? I truly hope all is ok with you and you don't have to go through a miscarriage.

Like you say I was naive enough to think this would never happen to me 😟

Leson I'm so glad you replied on this post, I didn't know if I was normal or not when I cried during sex with my oh 😕 I got so emotional so quickly, he didn't know what was happening, it's horrible but I'm glad I am not alone in this x

 

[Destiny08]

I probably could go earlier, but it's the weekend so my daughter is home, and I want hubby with me when I go, but I also don't want to disrupt my daughter lol she's so sensitive. So i could go on Monday when she's back at school, but by that point it'll be the next day that I'm going, and I know if it's just a miscarriage, they'll just tell me they cant do anything...

blood is slowing down now, no more clots, and just had another positive pregnancy test.. so I'm confused.
Hopefully the blood will stop completely, and I'll just keep taking tests this weekend. fingers crossed for the best. I'm sorry for both your loss and leson's, even the feeling of a potential miscarriage is devastating.

will update again if anything changes!

 

[lesondemavie]

Hope everything turns out ok Des And glad I could help cupcake - you are not alone

 

[Destiny08]

How much blood/pain am I to expect if it is a miscarriage? I imagined it would be quite a lot. But all I've had is the 1 day and it's slowing down a lot. There's still red blood, but its far less- kinda like the last couple of days of a period before the spotting. and it's leaving very little on the pad. I could have used one pad all day if I didnt change it for hygiene reasons lol

For comparison, yesterday I used 3 including the one I went to sleep in. (and changed them because they were full)

and pain wise I was in quite a lot of pain yesterday - kinda a stabbing pain. it was very low down - not lower stomach more like...in my groin? and happened every 30-60 minutes and lasted about 5 each time. but today I've been a bit achey, but not in pain.

sorry i keep asking questions! But obviously I'm obsessing about it. and I will be until Tuesday I'm sure lol

 

[lesondemavie]

I'm sorry...I really have no idea since I didn't miscarry naturally. I know that painful cramping with bright red blood is not a good sign, and also my hpts stayed positive for a while after my medicated mc. I've also read that there are other reasons for bleeding in pg. I think you really won't know until you go in. Fx it's one of those other reasons.

 

[cupcake23]

Mine started off as a bloody discharge loss (very similar to a show) the following day I went to EPU where they performed a pelvic exam, loss was still not heavy but I heard her say she could see tissue, I wasn't in any pain at this point, when I got home I started cramping and I had a gush of blood and that's when I had my heaviest loss and had to take some pain relief, but that was only one day, the next 3-4 days it was like the end of a period and hardly any pain, I went back to EPU on the Friday for a scan, blood loss was minimal, unfortunately my miscarriage was incomplete so decided the best route would be to take misoprostol, even then I only bled for 1 day. Everybody is different and since last Friday I've not bled, I have a follow up scan next Sunday to check all is well. I was told not bother testing as they would still come back positive.

 

[Destiny08]

Thanks for the responses looking back on my notes from when I was pregnant with my daughter, it does say I was in pain and cramping, but it just said 'light bleeding' and this has definitely not been light. I know I had enough to think I was miscarrying, but Im 99% sure thats what this is.

Not going to let myself get my hopes up lol. Because if I have low hopes for it, then I won't be even more devastated. It could only get better. If I have high hopes, then I'll just be devastated again.

Im sure I'll think of something else to ask before Tuesday but thank you for all of your quick responses You've both been a huge help and comfort.

 

[Destiny08]

They confirmed the miscarriage today removed the pregnancy sac and everything. Guess thats it for that hope..x

 

[lesondemavie]

So sorry Des . Rest up and take care. We're here if you need support ❤️

 

[cupcake23]

I'm sorry Des x