Uvlollypop
finally a mum
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- Feb 24, 2008
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This might be a bit of a garbled story ive written it in several sittings J
Right where do I start!? The last week or so ive been really ill with the flu+vomiting on Friday morning I had no movement at all and couldn’t find the babys heartbeat on my Doppler so I went into the day unit to get checked out.within mins I was on a monitor they located babys heart which was an amazing relief but she wasn’t moving, my pulse was also fast so I was asked to stay to be observed.
By lunch time a midwife came to see me and casually said oh im just here to check your cervix to see if your favourable for induction my heart sank induction = no homebirth she checked me I was favourable so a consultant came to see me to run through the risks of fetal distress and the high poss of c-section.
I was pretty stunned and it all happened really fast. I text james to tell him he needed to come home.
I was checked over told to wait for a bed on the ward and left to wonder about what would happen to me from there. I was terrified and upset that I wasn’t having her at home but they were worried about her lack of movement so wanted her out… I just had to accept that and get on with it.
Hours and hours went past and about 5 james got there I was still waiting for a bed on the ward, I ended up holding a poor girls hand who was in the next bed… she was only about 16 and couldn’t get hold of her boyfriend and her baby wanted to come early… im not sure what happened in the end but I hope she was ok.
Anyway hours went by waiting for this bed in the end the midwife went to the ward herself and changed the bed for me so I could go up.
We got to the ward at about 7/730 there was a women labouring in the next bed, james brought amy to see me who was over the moon that the baby was def coming before the weekend was over.
Everyone went home about 8 and I was left alone on the ward the women labouring was really in pain,her husband kept asking for help but the staff ignored him so she got up and gave birth on the floor! I shat my pants called james and told him I was discharging myself the poor women had been induced and just left there to give birth publicly on a ward. This was as far away from my home birth as it could get and there was no way I wanted that to happen to me, he convinced me to stay for a few hours because they were worried about the baby etc etc… I was more in the mind of well they cant be that worried ive been waiting for gel since lunch time, but reluctantly agreed.
At about 1130 my contractions started but as all the contractions ive had before they stopped so come 12 midnight they strapped me to a monitor and administered the gel within half hour I was contracting but they didn’t believe me!
I tried to sleep, at about 4 they got to bad to sleep through and I told the staff they said theyd check me at 6am and to go back to bed, not to turn the lights on or make any noise because people on the ward were trying to sleep…nice eh!
The pain got to bad to breath through so I cornered a cleaner and got her to stick my tenns pads on.
The pains got worse and worse, I was devastated in pain on a dark ward on my own fucking horrendous if im honest!
6oclock came I was hooked up to a monitor for 40 mins, 10 mins into monitoring she checked on me and said in a surprised manner ‘oh your contracting well’ err no really im just in so much pain I cant talk for fun, ya know thought id bring some needless drama to the proceedings.i was on my hands and knees holding on to the boost button on my tenns machine for dear life trying desperately to breath through the pain thinking ‘this cant last forever’
By this time I was fucking pissed off.
I was left to breath through the pain on my own as visitors wernt aloud until 830. at 830 ji called james and he made plans for amy to be looked after.
I was ignored when I said that the pains were getting to much and I needed pain relief, by ten to 9 I couldn’t talk when spoken too and begged for meptid which was swifty given, I sat and sobbed my heart out I felt totally out of it and completely gutted that this is the way that things were heading I felt that I wasn’t coping and I was failing my baby by pumping my system with drugs.
By half 9 james was there and I had been moved on to the ward.
Within mins I was strapped to a monitor flat on my back and told off every time I moved.
I felt like I need to push, in fact my body was pushing the midwife reluctantly examined me but babys head was still high I really didn’t feel right suddenly it was about 1130 and I was getting really tired because by body was taking over and pushing with every contraction, which wouldn’t have been so bad but they were coming so fast I didn’t have time to drink between them.
At 1oclock I was examined, I was fully dilated and my waters were bulging down into my vagina – the reason I wanted to push- so they broke them.
I nearly kissed the doctor I was so relived, it made the contractions more intense but I had gaps between them which was awesome it was the only time I felt lucid and with it.
I was desperate to get off the bed but they wouldn’t let me every time I layed on my side they made me move on to my back which made things more painful.
The shift changed and that’s when my labor changed for the better I got an agency midwife (who we later found out is the most sort after independent midwife in Milton Keynes) she let me get off the bed I walked around for a while, sat on a ball we all had good conversation between contractions.
Then I hit a wall (am guessing this was transistion?) I was on all fours crying my heart out because I was too tired I wanted more meptid the midwife said that she understood what I was saying but she thought I could do it on my own and she wasn’t going to give it to me cause id regret it in the end.
Suddenly I was really pushing but nothing was happening, all the pain went from being productive to just plain hurting.
I cried and cried, the midwife reassured me that something was happening and that my cervix was staying high so I had to push the baby quite far and itll take time other wise me and the baby could go into shock.
I wasn’t having any of it I insisted she was lying to me and that nothing was happening….until I checked myself
I could feel hair!
That’s when I got a second (third fourth maybe even fith) wind and got up and about, I despt needed a poo, the midwife told me that it was the baby but I knew it was def poo so I went to the toilet, I was right it was poo rofl.
Then the babys head started to crown and I couldn’t get up from the loo the midwife and james had to pick me up, I ended up on the bed on all fours again puffing away on the gas and air and being in so much pain I couldn’t actually make any noise, I vaguely remember trying to bite james.
Her head took forever to come out during this time I was moving from standing up to all fours I couldn’t stand/sit/crouch still after a while (about an hour!) things started moving along and her head was actually making its way out I honestly thought she was going to split me in two. I held her head as it came out a few big pushes later I felt her slippy body in my hand she let out a tiny cry almost like a kitten right away, the midwife passed her through my legs and the first thing I said was… its not mine its massive…
I managed to get on to my back and she was passed on to my tummy while we waited for the cord to stop pulsing I couldn’t talk I was so stunned I could only nod responses and stare at her.
We figured out why we had reduced movements, her cord was very short so she couldn’t really move!
After about 30mins I delivered the placenta naturally and was checked for tears which was very painful. I escaped unscathed.
She fed almost right away. I had some toast and asked to go home. She was born at 1515 weighing in at 7lb 12 and a half oz by 730am I was at home.
We all settled down for the night.
At 230 am I got up and had a massive gush of blood think waters breaking kind of gush fucking scary.
Amy was in bed so me and the baby were rushed to hospital, I was given fluids and a consultant obgyn came to examine me which was horrendously painful.
I was checked for internal injuries , there wasn’t any so the blood must have been coming from my uterus I was observed and given iv antibiotics+ fluids. After time the bleeding slowed down and although I was feeling very week I wanted to go home.
I was given strict instructions to rest and come in if anything happened or I felt unwell aswell as iron pills (yak).
edit- i forgot to add that they tried to put me in the same room i had my still birth in, my birth plan was totally ignored and id advise anyone to stay as far away from milton keynes hospital as possible.
Its taken me a few days to stop feeling light headed and sick, I didn’t get the rush of love for my daughter that I have heard about I felt like I had failed for caving and having drugs but it was just part of the journey I had to take to get my baby.
We are all happy and settling in and getting to know eachother. Thank you for all your well wishes and support through my pregnancy.
xx
first bath
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_11140079.jpg
snuggled after the bath
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_11140081.jpg
last bump pic
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_12070002.jpg
all gooey and gross
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_12070009.jpg
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_12070012.jpg
Right where do I start!? The last week or so ive been really ill with the flu+vomiting on Friday morning I had no movement at all and couldn’t find the babys heartbeat on my Doppler so I went into the day unit to get checked out.within mins I was on a monitor they located babys heart which was an amazing relief but she wasn’t moving, my pulse was also fast so I was asked to stay to be observed.
By lunch time a midwife came to see me and casually said oh im just here to check your cervix to see if your favourable for induction my heart sank induction = no homebirth she checked me I was favourable so a consultant came to see me to run through the risks of fetal distress and the high poss of c-section.
I was pretty stunned and it all happened really fast. I text james to tell him he needed to come home.
I was checked over told to wait for a bed on the ward and left to wonder about what would happen to me from there. I was terrified and upset that I wasn’t having her at home but they were worried about her lack of movement so wanted her out… I just had to accept that and get on with it.
Hours and hours went past and about 5 james got there I was still waiting for a bed on the ward, I ended up holding a poor girls hand who was in the next bed… she was only about 16 and couldn’t get hold of her boyfriend and her baby wanted to come early… im not sure what happened in the end but I hope she was ok.
Anyway hours went by waiting for this bed in the end the midwife went to the ward herself and changed the bed for me so I could go up.
We got to the ward at about 7/730 there was a women labouring in the next bed, james brought amy to see me who was over the moon that the baby was def coming before the weekend was over.
Everyone went home about 8 and I was left alone on the ward the women labouring was really in pain,her husband kept asking for help but the staff ignored him so she got up and gave birth on the floor! I shat my pants called james and told him I was discharging myself the poor women had been induced and just left there to give birth publicly on a ward. This was as far away from my home birth as it could get and there was no way I wanted that to happen to me, he convinced me to stay for a few hours because they were worried about the baby etc etc… I was more in the mind of well they cant be that worried ive been waiting for gel since lunch time, but reluctantly agreed.
At about 1130 my contractions started but as all the contractions ive had before they stopped so come 12 midnight they strapped me to a monitor and administered the gel within half hour I was contracting but they didn’t believe me!
I tried to sleep, at about 4 they got to bad to sleep through and I told the staff they said theyd check me at 6am and to go back to bed, not to turn the lights on or make any noise because people on the ward were trying to sleep…nice eh!
The pain got to bad to breath through so I cornered a cleaner and got her to stick my tenns pads on.
The pains got worse and worse, I was devastated in pain on a dark ward on my own fucking horrendous if im honest!
6oclock came I was hooked up to a monitor for 40 mins, 10 mins into monitoring she checked on me and said in a surprised manner ‘oh your contracting well’ err no really im just in so much pain I cant talk for fun, ya know thought id bring some needless drama to the proceedings.i was on my hands and knees holding on to the boost button on my tenns machine for dear life trying desperately to breath through the pain thinking ‘this cant last forever’
By this time I was fucking pissed off.
I was left to breath through the pain on my own as visitors wernt aloud until 830. at 830 ji called james and he made plans for amy to be looked after.
I was ignored when I said that the pains were getting to much and I needed pain relief, by ten to 9 I couldn’t talk when spoken too and begged for meptid which was swifty given, I sat and sobbed my heart out I felt totally out of it and completely gutted that this is the way that things were heading I felt that I wasn’t coping and I was failing my baby by pumping my system with drugs.
By half 9 james was there and I had been moved on to the ward.
Within mins I was strapped to a monitor flat on my back and told off every time I moved.
I felt like I need to push, in fact my body was pushing the midwife reluctantly examined me but babys head was still high I really didn’t feel right suddenly it was about 1130 and I was getting really tired because by body was taking over and pushing with every contraction, which wouldn’t have been so bad but they were coming so fast I didn’t have time to drink between them.
At 1oclock I was examined, I was fully dilated and my waters were bulging down into my vagina – the reason I wanted to push- so they broke them.
I nearly kissed the doctor I was so relived, it made the contractions more intense but I had gaps between them which was awesome it was the only time I felt lucid and with it.
I was desperate to get off the bed but they wouldn’t let me every time I layed on my side they made me move on to my back which made things more painful.
The shift changed and that’s when my labor changed for the better I got an agency midwife (who we later found out is the most sort after independent midwife in Milton Keynes) she let me get off the bed I walked around for a while, sat on a ball we all had good conversation between contractions.
Then I hit a wall (am guessing this was transistion?) I was on all fours crying my heart out because I was too tired I wanted more meptid the midwife said that she understood what I was saying but she thought I could do it on my own and she wasn’t going to give it to me cause id regret it in the end.
Suddenly I was really pushing but nothing was happening, all the pain went from being productive to just plain hurting.
I cried and cried, the midwife reassured me that something was happening and that my cervix was staying high so I had to push the baby quite far and itll take time other wise me and the baby could go into shock.
I wasn’t having any of it I insisted she was lying to me and that nothing was happening….until I checked myself
I could feel hair!
That’s when I got a second (third fourth maybe even fith) wind and got up and about, I despt needed a poo, the midwife told me that it was the baby but I knew it was def poo so I went to the toilet, I was right it was poo rofl.
Then the babys head started to crown and I couldn’t get up from the loo the midwife and james had to pick me up, I ended up on the bed on all fours again puffing away on the gas and air and being in so much pain I couldn’t actually make any noise, I vaguely remember trying to bite james.
Her head took forever to come out during this time I was moving from standing up to all fours I couldn’t stand/sit/crouch still after a while (about an hour!) things started moving along and her head was actually making its way out I honestly thought she was going to split me in two. I held her head as it came out a few big pushes later I felt her slippy body in my hand she let out a tiny cry almost like a kitten right away, the midwife passed her through my legs and the first thing I said was… its not mine its massive…
I managed to get on to my back and she was passed on to my tummy while we waited for the cord to stop pulsing I couldn’t talk I was so stunned I could only nod responses and stare at her.
We figured out why we had reduced movements, her cord was very short so she couldn’t really move!
After about 30mins I delivered the placenta naturally and was checked for tears which was very painful. I escaped unscathed.
She fed almost right away. I had some toast and asked to go home. She was born at 1515 weighing in at 7lb 12 and a half oz by 730am I was at home.
We all settled down for the night.
At 230 am I got up and had a massive gush of blood think waters breaking kind of gush fucking scary.
Amy was in bed so me and the baby were rushed to hospital, I was given fluids and a consultant obgyn came to examine me which was horrendously painful.
I was checked for internal injuries , there wasn’t any so the blood must have been coming from my uterus I was observed and given iv antibiotics+ fluids. After time the bleeding slowed down and although I was feeling very week I wanted to go home.
I was given strict instructions to rest and come in if anything happened or I felt unwell aswell as iron pills (yak).
edit- i forgot to add that they tried to put me in the same room i had my still birth in, my birth plan was totally ignored and id advise anyone to stay as far away from milton keynes hospital as possible.
Its taken me a few days to stop feeling light headed and sick, I didn’t get the rush of love for my daughter that I have heard about I felt like I had failed for caving and having drugs but it was just part of the journey I had to take to get my baby.
We are all happy and settling in and getting to know eachother. Thank you for all your well wishes and support through my pregnancy.
xx
first bath
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_11140079.jpg
snuggled after the bath
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_11140081.jpg
last bump pic
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_12070002.jpg
all gooey and gross
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_12070009.jpg
https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_12070012.jpg
But Faith is gorgeous
xxx
