Family at Birth Center?

[ktl]

Hey All,

I am 33 weeks with our first and we are planning on a natural water birth at a free standing birth center in our area. My husband will be the only other person in the room with us. After the birth, we stay for about 4 hours before heading home. We're not planning on anyone coming in right away or anything - we want our private skin to skin time and to work on nursing. I guess if you're in a hospital you'll be there for so much longer, so I can see why other family members come and wait - but it kind of seems like they should just wait until we bring her home?

Anyone have any thoughts about this or experiences? I guess we'll probably ask one of the midwives at our appointment next week, I was just curious what others had thought about it.

Thanks!

 

[likeaustralia]

I'm going to what sounds like a similar birth center and we won't be having anyone come to the birth center. We'll let them know when baby's arrived and they can come visit us at home when we're ready (not for a week at least).

 

[amjon]

I was planning on having my family come to the birthing center for the birth. I was planning on having them wait in the other room for the birth, then visit with us and LO after. We ended up in the hospital with DH, mom and dad in the room. Next time I plan on having a friend to take pictures as well.

 

[MindUtopia]

I think do whatever is comfortable for you and just be firm with family/friends about what you need to recovery after birth and set your boundaries. For us, I don't plan to have anyone else at the birth except for my husband (and midwives and doula, of course). We'll tell friends/family in advance that we won't be having anyone visit until at least 2 full days later, but that this could change depending on our needs. And even two days later, it would only be my mother-in-law and her partner and for a short time (2 hours max). My family lives too far away and will probably visit in a few weeks to a few months depending on when we're ready for house guests again. Friends might be invited over the following week or two depending on how we feel.

 

[Mathmagican]

I recently gave birth at a birthing center with just my husband & we did not have family or friends come to the BC. The recovery time is so short that is just seemed easier to have people come to our house later.

In the end I am really glad no one was there as I threw up several times after giving birth, so a large part of the recovery time was dedicated to clean up. I didn't need family or friends there to see me exhausted covered in vomit...

 

[fl00b]

i'm planning my birth at a stand alone midwifery centre too, but we got told only immediate family to the baby were allowed in after baby's born as they encourage a quick turn-around to get you home.
i personally won't be wanting visitors until i'm home and have had a few hours sleep!

 

[ktl]

Thanks for all the replies! We had an appointment this morning and asked what people usually do... They recommended that family wait at home, which is what we were leaning towards. I think our families don't quite get what a birth center is like as opposed to a hospital... They might be a little bummed when we tell them, but I think it makes more sense for them to wait for us at home!

 

[likeaustralia]

My MIL gave me a whole bunch of crappy attitude this past weekend about my birth center. She asked if there was a "viewing area" or if it was all "locked down," to which I told her we wouldn't be there long regardless. She then said, "Oh so they just kick you out??!?" She doesn't get it at all. I do NOT WANT to be in a hospital with a nursery and a mandatory overnight/multiple night stay. Ugh. She makes me nuts. All the more reason for her NOT to come to the birth center!!!!!

Sorry to rant in your thread.

 

[crancherry]

I was just mulling over the same question. My birth center is actually inside a 2-story historic home. The birthing rooms are bedrooms upstairs and the family can wait downstairs in the living room, use the kitchen, etc. We get to stay for 6 hours after the birth. I am debating whether to have family (parents and sister) come though, as I think sound will travel well and I don't know how comfortable I am with everyone listening in on everything. I also have two sons, 17 and 8 (almost 9) and don't know whether I should have them there as I don't want to freak them out nor do I want to be worried about them while I am trying to focus on labor. At the same time, it is a natural process that they will hopefully experience with their wives one day, and I don't want them to feel excluded from this important family event. What to do???

 

[Eskimobabys]

I was just mulling over the same question. My birth center is actually inside a 2-story historic home. The birthing rooms are bedrooms upstairs and the family can wait downstairs in the living room, use the kitchen, etc. We get to stay for 6 hours after the birth. I am debating whether to have family (parents and sister) come though, as I think sound will travel well and I don't know how comfortable I am with everyone listening in on everything. I also have two sons, 17 and 8 (almost 9) and don't know whether I should have them there as I don't want to freak them out nor do I want to be worried about them while I am trying to focus on labor. At the same time, it is a natural process that they will hopefully experience with their wives one day, and I don't want them to feel excluded from this important family event. What to do???

Just ask them what their comfortable with their old enough to make that call if they rather just wait at home let them if they wanna be there let just explain how long it can take and what's involved and let them decided GL

 

[crancherry]

Thanks, yes I thought of asking them and probably will, although I don't think they (at least my younger one) will have any idea of what they are signing up for. He is very sensitive and emotional and I do think seeing or hearing me in pain might be kind of traumatic for him, even if I reassure him everything is ok. Sorry just thinking "out loud"

 

[ktl]

Yeah, we ended up telling our parents that it would be best for them to wait at home. We also emphasized how helpful it would be to have people around the house to tend to our dogs and cat so we don't have to worry about them.

Though we had never really talked about it, I think my mom thought she might be in the room for the birth with us, so she was definitely disappointed, but ultimately we want to do what's best for us.

Our birth center is small too - there are two birthing rooms, a small sitting area (no tv or anything), and kitchen. Sound would definitely travel, and I think it would be distracting hearing them out there and knowing they could hear us.