Family hinting

[LynAnne]

Now that DH and I are married (in August), I've noticed that certain family members have been hinting at when we'll start our family - my MIL being particularly obvious about it. First she said, "who would have thought this time last year you'd be married. Who knows what will happen next year". We'd been engaged for three years before we got married but only planned our wedding for six months. And then recently while taking care of our nephews she was talking about how I'll need to get DH to stop freaking out over dirty nappies and sick There's been lots of little hints and although no one has come out with "so when you having kids?" it's very much implied! I feel like screaming: have a chat with your son. We'll be having them whenever your son decides he wants them!

Whilst it makes me happy to know that other family members would like to see us start our little family it also kind of hurts. It seems like everyone but DH wants us to have children right now which feels horrible. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, "why don't you want to start our family? Is it me?" and then I feel immediately bad about it. I know he does but he just isn't ready yet. Ugh!

Does anyone else have family asking about when you'll have babies?

 

[kksy9b]

We started getting it when we got engaged and we were only 19. Fast forward a couple years and people stopped asking. I think some thought we were having fertility issues when the reality is we were just waiting. DS was born a little after our 6th anniversary and as soon as he was born we started getting "when are you having another one?" The questions never end But it sounds like you have a great MIL who will be a hands on (hopefully not too much!) grandma. I always just said "in a couple years" whenever they asked, right up to announcing we were preggo!

 

[MummyKP]

We got married in September and often get asked! I worry people think we have fertility issues as we aren't pregnant yet, but we just aren't trying right now! Quite often people have said 'babies next' or 'when are you having babies then?' But that's more friends or colleagues. I MIL hasn't asked or mentioned, although I do wonder if she's wondering when it'll happen. My mum knows everything - that I would have one now if I could but just waiting for DH to come aboard lol. It's annoying how people assume now you're married you have to have kids though!! I know everyone is expecting it from us ATM.....I'm sure they're wondering why there hasn't been an announcement yet! Also, because we live away from family, when we go back for a weekend, I always wonder if they're thinking if it'll be a baby announcement or not. Hopefully by march there will be from us

 

[butterbaby]

Family and friends asked a lot in the first year or so of marriage, it's weird how it's immediately expected.. like we didn't get married just to have kids, we got married because we love being us together. Not that there's anything wrong with having kids right away, I just don't think it should be expected.

It kinda stopped being asked as much but every now and then it still comes up. In the past I would say 'in a couple of years' but I've since switched to 'not yet.' It usually shuts people up because they're not sure if you're trying and having trouble or if you just aren't ready yet. If I were you I'd definitely reply to his family with something like "if only it were my decision" and see what happens!

 

[skycastles]

We didn't get so much of it until we got a nephew.. Then the questions by my PIL and his side of the family got so bad I had to have a chat with DH to make them stop - he wasn't much help. I would love a baby but we aren't TTC yet for reasons of our own and I have no intention of telling anyone when we plan to start.
I tried to deflect his mother's questions by saying it was DH holding us up.. Wasn't the smartest move because the next day she got his father to sit us down and tell us how critically important it was for us to have children.
The only good thing out of that whole fiasco was DH assuring me he would still be perfectly content to live the rest of his life with me even if we were unfortunately childless
LynAnne, my DH has yet to join me in the baby fever too after all this. But it's def not you.. Of u look at it the other way, isn't it great he's content being with just you for now?

 

[MissN8]

Yea I get asked and ot really hurts like its no ones business anyway but they still ask.

 

[ssarahh]

I got married in September and have been asked this a lot over the last few months! I don't intend on telling anyone when we are going to TTC so just say 'not for a while'. I imagine I will say that even when we are TTC.