fed up of waiting!

[babytots]

hi ladies need to have a rant. my grief and pain of losing jessica is easing day by day but the waiting for her post mortem to be done and the waiting to find out why we lost her is killing me. its only been a week and have been told it may take another 5 weeks til i get her body back to have her funeral and up to another 7 weeks til i see my consultant to talk over the results.

why do we have to wait so long. i know with the postmortem its due to us requesting her organs to be placed back in her body and as they may need to carry out further investigations on her organs thats why thats taking so long but why do the results of her death have to take so long to come through. i feel like time is dragging slowly and the next 6 weeks or so are going to drive me nuts. x

 

[Jkelmum]

Rant all you need its not fair that it takes so long x

 

[DiddyDons]

I had to wait about 8 weeks for Sophies post mortem to come through. I actually dont understand why it takes so long either! Because we had her funeral 2 weeks afterwards and she was back from the post mortem not long after....
Maybe they dont have an appointments?

Hope your "ok" babe?! x x x

 

[dan-o]

This is awful, I had no idea it took so long. So sorry babytots

 

[hayley x]

im sorry I dont know your 'story' but my baby... little Alex, died 3 weeks ago now. He died suddenly at home so he had to have a post mortem. At the time I was told it could take weeks to get his body back and for him to be released, but he died on the Tuesday and he body was released on the Thursday late afternoon.

The results however are another matter, I was told at first 2-3 weeks but its actually more like 2-3 months...its sooo horrible waiting but also have to remember the post mortem may never show a cause of death (that is my situation, sorry if its different to yours, my baby was SIDS (cot death))

Just try and stay strong, cry if you need to, laugh if you need to do whatever you need to get through the day. But I understand your probably just existing and not living

Take care xxxx

 

[babytots]

diddydons so sorry you had to wait 8 weeks for sophies post mortem results but glad you didnt have to wait long to have her funeral.

i was told that they make you wait so long as there are so many different tests been done (my blood tests,tests on the placenta and cord and the postmortem) that they prefer to wait til they have all the information together and can say exactly what happened instead of telling me each time the results come through and effectively leaving me in limbo til the next lot ore results iykwim. doesnt make it any easier though just want to know why and if it can be prevented in the future.

thanks dan-o i was shocked when they told me how long i could be waiting but theres not much i can do. i have the number for the bereavement co-ordinator at the hospital so might speak to her and se eif her post mortem has been done yet. x

 

[babytots]

im sorry I dont know your 'story' but my baby... little Alex, died 3 weeks ago now. He died suddenly at home so he had to have a post mortem. At the time I was told it could take weeks to get his body back and for him to be released, but he died on the Tuesday and he body was released on the Thursday late afternoon.

The results however are another matter, I was told at first 2-3 weeks but its actually more like 2-3 months...its sooo horrible waiting but also have to remember the post mortem may never show a cause of death (that is my situation, sorry if its different to yours, my baby was SIDS (cot death))

Just try and stay strong, cry if you need to, laugh if you need to do whatever you need to get through the day. But I understand your probably just existing and not living

Take care xxxx

thanks hun i'm glad it didnt take long for you to get alexs body back. jessica had a few abnormalities which were visable when she was born so i'm sure there will be answers and i have read up on her problems and have a pretty good idea of what was wrong just need that confirmation iykwim.

doesnt help that df is winding me up acting like nothings happened and snapping at me and the girls. just wish this hadnt happened want that happiness back before i lost jessica and not be where we are now at each others throats and upset. x

 

[CarCam]

I am so sorry.

I hope that you don't have to wait too much longer for the answers you so deserve.

 

[Tasha]

I was told 8 weeks to get Honey back too, but it was in fact a week and one day later, and we held her funeral 2 weeks exactly from the time she was born.

We then had quite a wait for the results but from 6 weeks onwards I kept ringing them. I think part of the problem is the lack of the pathologists for stillbirths and neonatal losses, it is a specialist area and I think there is one in London, and ten in the whole of England, it is such a shame cos it makes such a difficult time that bit harder. I really hope you get Jessica back and get the results soon, as it feels like your in limbo until you do.

As for DF I think that is normal hun, men are told they are not suppose to show there emotions so when it comes to losing there baby they feel they have to be strong, when inside they are broken, that a sense of letting you and the family down, and being unable to fix things means they try to get on with things but cant and end up snapping