Fed up with partner!

[Kaedin]

I recently posted a thread as I was very unhappy with my OHs drinking. He was drinking far too much and too often. after getting a private HD scan of baby he seem to make a change and care more about baby

But.

Now he is back to his dickhead ways.

I'm feeling ill, suffering with a bad cold. So last night was in bed and he had taken most of the covers so I was getting shivery, so I tugged the covers to get enough to cover my body and he full force kicked me in the legs. It was really sore and straight away I just wanted to cry with anger that he would do that to me.

Then this morning our little cat, was walking about the bed, I was clapping her ect and he turned around grabbed her and threw her to the floor!

I got up straight away to see my cat was ok, she then tried to bite me as he obviously hurt and frightened her.

So pissed off that he can do that to me and a little innocent cat.

His drinking has been out of hand the last few days, but I kinda let it slide with it being Christmas and New year. But yesterday his mum (whom I do not like as she always gets involved in our relationship, and constantly slags me off behind my back) told him she was worried about his drinking. Please note, the last time I told my partner he needs to cut down as drinking too much and too often, she got involved and caused a huge arguement as I "need to grow up" yet she turns around and says the same thing I said months ago and its fine for her.

 

[Kaedin]

He just got out of bed, came in and said "oh are you not going to work today". (I've phoned in sick as feeling really ill)

No apology, or even mention of his terrible behaviour. He just acts like he has done nothing wrong! That or he doesn't think he is in the wrong!

 

[aussiettc]

Wow he's really being a dick.
After reading your last post and now this one if I was in your shoes I would leave.
He doesn't treat you with respect and to kick you like that is just abusive. What is he missed your legs and hit your stomach?
You need to think about what is best for you and your baby and this man doesn't seem to care about either of you.
I hope something changes and you find yourself in a safer situation for you both

 

[wtbmummy]

Wow he's really being a dick.
After reading your last post and now this one if I was in your shoes I would leave.
He doesn't treat you with respect and to kick you like that is just abusive. What is he missed your legs and hit your stomach?
You need to think about what is best for you and your baby and this man doesn't seem to care about either of you.
I hope something changes and you find yourself in a safer situation for you both

Exactly this hun, I too read your last post. It sounds to me as drink is far more important to him than u or his child. I too would have a long think about whether you want to raise your child in this enviroment/atmoshere.

 

[Kaedin]

It's hard to find a reason to justify staying with him...which I guess is the biggest sign that I shouldn't stay and put up with this.

If he acts like this to me and our cat, what will he do with a crying baby in the middle of the night.

 

[Mummafrog]

I wouldn't put up with it either.. I would really struggle with just the excessive drinking and I would be concerned about that around a new born but the violence is completely unacceptable and it's not how a man who is ready for a baby coming into the home would treat the woman who is carrying his baby. You need a bit of looking after and lots of love right now, being upset could be making you more poorly and it's not good for baby.
Is there anyone you can go and stay with to get away while you figure everything out? Maybe your mum?
Seperating for a while may make him come around and realise he can't behave the way he does, or it may make him go off the handle and get worse and either way you would see his true colours and know what to do
Wishing you so much luck, keep yourself and baby safe

 

[Kaedin]

Well he came in and I barely spoke to him, and told him I wasn't happy with him

And he said, "you deserved it" ( meaning I deserved to be kicked) and said I was elbowing him. I did actually elbow him later on in the night as he was snoring like an obese pig which was keeping me up. But before he kicked me I only tugged on the duvet cover! I did try shaking him before hand but he wouldnt stop snoring. I think theres a bit of a different for shaking and elbowing a man than full force kicking your pregnant and ill partner.

 

[bluejen]

Don't make him guess what he's done wrong. Wait til you are calm and explain that he physically hurt you when he kicked you in the night. Try not to mention your other issues, just see what his reaction to that is. Once he has given you an explanation, explain, calmly that you are worried that he's not himself when he drinks. If he gets upset/angry, try to stay calm yourself. If he continues to be angry explain that you can't talk to him when he's angry and you are going to leave the room. If you stay calm, and not accuse him if anything , it will be hard for him to react. If he blows his top you might take some time alone to think if you want him around your child. Don't fight fire with fire I.e. Try not to shout, accuse or cry xxxx good luck xxxx

 

[Klandagi]

"Well you deserved it"

Yeah... Um... Get out now, don't look back and just RUN. Stay with family, a friend, whoever. Is Baby going to deserve being hit or shaken when they colic or cry or make a mess of themselves? Are you doing to deserve worse when you're unable to do much post labor and require his help? You need to protect yourself and the precious life you're carrying.

 

[bluejen]

I didn't see your post where you asked him to explain why he kicked you. That is completely unacceptable. If it was me, I would be calmly offering an ultimatum.

 

[Emma&Freya]

Leave him. He seems so chilish and dangerous

 

[Storm1jet2]

Get the hell out of there NOW! Sounds like this is the start of an abusive relationship and id be gone before I found out the hard way, and rehome the cat or take it with you, poor thing!

 

[2have4kids]

They often say the way a person treats their pets is similar to how they treat their children. I predict along abusive childhood for your babies. No amount of 'talking', negotiating,counselling or explaining will help a fellow like this. The fact that he's got addictions makes it even worse. Sorry your man is such a dud. I hope you're strong enough to do the right thing for you & your future child.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

not easy to do, but you need to get out of there x

 

[Kaedin]

Brilliant - he just called me a fat tart.

Told him I'm pregnant not fat, and he said I was pregnant before I got pregnant...err I weighed just over 9 stone when I got pregnant, and haven't put on much weight at all (except for a big baby bump, but no weight elsewhere!)

It's funny coming from him as he is actually fat, what an idiot.

 

[sarah34]

Huni, I think u know itself that ur not happy with this man.

I hope u have some friends and family that can help u out xxx he sounds like a horrible person! X

 

[LoveMyBaby786]

He sounds really childish hun. To be honest if it were me and I knew or had feelings he would be harmful to the baby once he/she arrives then I would leave now. You could have a trial seperation and tell him once he is off the drink and realises what is more important to him then he can come back. But its totally up to you. Think about yourself and your baby xx

 

[OnyxSnowfall]

You could see if he's willing to try counselling/therapy/seek help, but if he's not, I really do think you should get out. I left a crappy relationship while pregnant with my youngest, and I'm so thankful I did. We were homeless for far too long, but it was WORTH IT.

People seldom change, often times it only gets worse. Don't wait for that... every moment you spend wasted on him could have been another spent on yourself, investing in something far more better for your baby and your future...

There are real men out in the world...

That's just my opinion....... good luck in whatever you decide