The one thing I learned is that having PPD doesn't necessarily mean you aren't happy you have a baby in your life, and PPD doesn't necessarily make you feel as if you can't and don't want to take care of the baby. You can have PPD and be head over heels for the baby. You can have PPD and not want anything to do with the baby. You can have PPD and be too protective over the baby to the point your mind is only consumed with thoughts of the baby and you don't want anyone near the baby and you always worry something bad will happen to the baby.
I had PPD after I had my first. In the beginning I wanted NOTHING to do with her. It's so sad to say but it's just the truth. The feeling of not wanting anything to do with her lasted for a few months and then all of a sudden my PPD turned into me not wanting ANYONE, including DH, near her. I was afraid someone would hurt her. I didn't like DH changing her diaper because in my mind I thought he was thinking really crazy things. I know it sounds crazy but that's what I went through. That lasted for a few months, too. Then, it went away and I slowly came out of PPD with no help. Within those months though I felt like killing myself to end these crazy thoughts/feelings. I never once thought of hurting my daughter though. With my second I had the baby blues 2 weeks after giving birth which lasted maybe a week or two. Only reason I had it was because DH was working and I kept waking up in the middle of the night with the baby and had no help from DH. He would sleep through it and I didn't want to bother him. One day he came home from work and I was sitting on the couch while DD1 was playing and DD2 was in my arms as always and I was crying. It took me the whole day to finally tell DH what was bothering me but when I did things changed and he would help me in the middle of the night with her. The baby blues passed and I was good to go. With my third I had it very bad. I felt fine the day I had him but the next day I was feeling down and out but didn't want to tell anyone. The day after that while waiting for DH to come to the hospital to pick me up, I was crying in the hospital bed for no apparent reason. When I went for the baby's first checkup at his pediatrician, the doctor asked how I was feeling and I lied and said okay but I think he saw it in my face that I was a wreck. I had PPD with him for the first year, where I wanted nothing to do with him. DH was working and going to school and I was doing schoolwork on the computer and he would act up crying and I would ignore him for a long time before getting up to do something about him crying. It was really a hard time for me. Many times I tried to tell DH how bad it was this time around and I don't think he ever comprehended it. It got to the point I didn't want my son and I wanted to die. My son is now 3 years old and honest to God I still struggle with him. I have absolutely no bond with him and it's really sad. I try my best to be close to him and yet the feeling is non-existent. I know I should've gotten help when it came to my PPD with him. With my fourth I didn't have PPD. My son came out very sick and had to be in NICU for a while so I think that took over any PPD feelings I would have had. I had no time to care for myself, just for my son, and he was the only thing I wanted. He's 19 months now and he's my life. My previous and last baby is 3 weeks old and I've been going through a tough time (not anything related to her) and at first I thought maybe I had PPD but I really don't think so. I enjoy being with her when I am with her but most of the time DH is holding her, changing her, feeding her, etc. I have no motivation and no energy. I've been depressed about other things going on and my dog just suddenly died yesterday morning so that is killing me, so I think it's just a bunch of crap that's causing my depression but nothing to do with her. Sorry this is long but I wanted to share my experiences.
Basically, you can have PPD even if you feel happy about the baby so just keep that in mind. As for you DH arguing, that's how it was for the first year or two after having my first. We would argue like lunatics. You would've thought we hated one another and wondered why we ever thought to have a child together, that's how bad it was. I think it had a lot to do with my PPD, hormones going up and down and crazy, DH working his ass off and just a ton of stress with just trying to get by day by day with a newborn. That's probably what's happening with you guys right now, too. I think maybe you both need time to talk things out, just the two of you. See if someone can watch both kids. Find out what's bothering you and find out what's bothering him and try to come to an understanding. It takes a while but if you both love one another and want to make it work, it can. You just have to work at it.
Again, sorry it's so long!!
