Feel like everyone is passing me by

[TTC Again]

I have a son who is turning 3 in a few weeks. All of our friends had their first child around when we had our son or maybe a year before hand. By now all of our friends have 2 or 3 children. Our son is the only one without a sibbling. In his class at daycare he is the only one without a little sister or brother. I feel like everyone else we know is passing us by. I know it's not the worst thing in the world, and I should be so glad to have a happy and healthy child, but I'm just feeling very sorry for myself lately.

Anyone else???

 

[Mummy2Boo]

I'm in a very similar situation. My son is 3.5yrs old and I only have two friends who had babies at the same time who haven't had a second (or third!). Even my friend who had twins has had another baby. We had a stage of about a month when my son asked for a baby brother and it broke my heart to tell him I couldn't just give him that. (He soon decided he didn't want a baby after all and asked for a puppy Don't you love fickle)

I try so hard to not feel down about it and to enjoy my son as much as possible. It's difficult, especially as my neighbour has a 2yr old daughter and just had a second baby, but we just keep smiling through the pain and heartache.

 

[IrishGirl]

I could have wrote this myselfOur princess is 7.Were TTC#2 just over 5 Years now

 

[Rivetkitten]

My little girl is 3. I think the last of my friends who were pregnant when I was have finally succumbed to at least their second child. I really feel so left behind. She talks about a little brother and a little sister who live with her. But there are no siblings. I fear there may never be.

 

[TTC Again]

I'm really sad to hear we're all in the same boat and feeling the same way. I know how it makes me feel, so my heart goes out to each of you.

We made the mistake of telling my son when we were pregnant the last time and he still asks me every once in a while about the baby in my belly. He tells me often lately that he wants a baby sister. Makes my heart ache.

 

[ashleyalw]

Im in the same position. Been ttc #2 since June 2009. Its heart breaking to know that I may never be able to give my daughter a sibling. She will be 2 next month and the "plan" was to be ttc or be pregnant with our 3rd by now. I dont know what the future holds for us but I hope we get our baby soon.

 

[Moorebetter]

Im here too. I dont have a child now we are ttc our first. Everyone is having babies. Its crazyness. I just want my turn to come already!!!

 

[TTC Again]

Hang in there and know you are not alone. Our times WILL come!

 

[maz2007]

Hi Girls,

I just wanted to chime in as I am in the same situation. Our DD was concieved within 6 mths, but we have been TTC #2 for for about 1.5 yrs now. I am absoloutely dreading her 3rd birthday in a few weeks time.

For me the worst thing is the isolation. I feel left out as most of my friends and family have at least 2 (if not three) children. How can I join in their conversations about sibling rivalry or the trials and tribulations of a busy family life? I am sick of hearing how 'lucky' I am and how 'easy' my life must be. And to add insult to injury DD is obsessed with having a baby brother as she has a new baby cousin and can't understand why she hasn't got any siblings.

What does eveyrone use as coping strategies? For me I have just got a new job in the hope that it'll take my mind off it all. And also nobody knows me there. Nobody knows me as the 'one who has been TTC for ages and has had 2 M/Cs' as they did at my old work. I do not want this to define me but it feels like its starting to!

Huge hugs to you all, and babydust xxxxxxxxx

 

[TTC Again]

maz, I know how you feel exactly. At the very least we can take comfort in having each other here and knowing we are not alone, though it often seems that way.

My son is turning 3 in 2 weeks (on Mother's Day) and I love him more than anything in the world, but I'm feeling unfulfilled and wanting more than anything these days to give him a sibbling. He asks about it a lot, which makes it even harder. And, yes, like you al of my friends have 2 or 3 now and they do all say or incinuate that it must be so "easy" for us! I hate that.

I also find it SO hard to deal with everyone who seemingly gets pregnant by accident or without even trying. It seems cruel and so unfair when here we are trying so hard to make this happen when others we know are just having a baby magically appear out of thin air with no real effort!

I am Jewish and tonight is a family holiday and I am DREADING having everyone ask when we are having another baby. I had to deal with it at Thanksgiving, but then I WAS pregnant so it wasn't so hard - we just weren't telling anyone, but we wound up losing that pregnancy anyhow. So, this time, not being pregnant it will be hard to hear from the cousins and aunts who don't know the struggles we've been though. People often have good intentions, but talk without thinking first.

Anyhow, thanks for sharing in this conversation. I wish I had good coping methods. Sounds like getting a new job could help a lot. I'm trying to just focus on enjoying this fun and special time with my son (and husband) and be able to give him my full, undivided attention while I can. Hopefully, before long things will change and he'll have to share my attention with a sibbling!

 

[jfor3]

I'm so pleased I found this thread because it's exactly how I feel! I've got a 7 & 3 year old boys and the other day the oldest asked me if we could have another baby - I said that I wasn't sure but I didn't have any immediate plans (lie) - he replied why not can't Daddy just give you another seed!!!!!

TTC Baby - I know what you mean about people keep asking, I have poeple keep saying that surely I'm trying for a girl now as I've got two boys. I have just starting saying that we've decided definitely not to have any more children and people have stopped asking! Hope I haven't jinxed myself...

 

[Mummy2Boo]

And another blow....... A close friend of mine who I adore has a little girl about 6 months younger than my son. Today she announced she is pregnant with triplets (naturally conceived). I'm happy for her as they've had a rough time with major illness in the past couple of years but I'm utterly devestated for me/us.

Purely down to lousy timing, I've had to delay starting Clomid. Can't do this cycle as day 12 is over the long Bank hol weekend next week and this means that it's likely we'll have to cancel next cycle too as again, day 12 will fall during a BH weekend. The nurse said they could scan me early but of course they won't be able to track properly.

It's all put me in a vile mood and I'm snapping at everyone.

 

[TTC Again]

Oh, hun, I'm sorry. It's so hard to hear of and accept when others around us are getting pregnant. I feel like suddenly everyone I know is oops - accidentally pregnant without even trying. It's hard not to feel bitter...something I struggle with for sure!

 

[Berkano]

I feel for you all, i really do ***sends love***

I was in the same position this time last year. I was BnB user then too but in a different account (new account, new chapter!). I have a DS who is now 6yrs. OH and myself have been TTC for just short of 3 yrs now. Both of my SIL's got accidently pregnant pretty much at the same time which was tough for me. I tried so hard to be ok about it, but i just couldn't. I was happy for them, i really was, but i needed to be upset about it, it was the only way i could vent how i felt.
Numerous facebook friends have become pregnant with out having to try and do nothing but bloody moan about it... It get's my goat it does!

This is sort of the reason for my sharp exit off BnB mid last yr. My PMA was completely shot..... but i'm back again and a sucker for punishment

I Hope you all manage to find your PMA again and one thing i would say is, it's OK to be upset about the pregnancies. You're only human and we all have feelings! xx

 

[TTC Again]

Thanks, Bernako. Welcome back to BnB and best of luck to you!

What's PMA?

 

[Mummy2Boo]

And another one! It's her 4th child, his 5th and they TTC'd for 2 months. Her youngest is same age as my DS. So hard to deal with hearing about "how hard they tried" because they wanted a 2011 baby........

I know it's normal and acceptable for anyone TTC, especially LTTTC, to get upset when someone else announces but to me it feels like one every day ATM and my PMA upped sticks a very long time ago!

Hugs to you all xxx

 

[lissa110]

I know how you feel! I have a almost 8 yr old (next month) and I have been officially hardcore trying since 3-09 but not prventing since about 3yrs after my son was born.

My brother was with his wife for 1 1/12 and they decided to have a baby and by the next month they had one. Also after telling 2 of my other friends that we were trying they no more then 3 mo later both said they were pregnant one with there 2nd and the other with her 3rd. It is just sooo frustrating.

 

[Red sox gal]

I know how all of you feel, I have a slight variation from most. My DS was conceived accidentally while actively preventing with my ex. Now with my sons 8th bd only a few months away, a committed relationship with the most wonderful man, I can't give him a child or my son a sibling. We have been trying for almost 12mths and all tests have come back ok. I was diagnosed with endo 10yrs ago and is the only reason my dr can find that we haven't conceived. We, well actually I start clomid on my next cycle. It's so painful to celebrate the births of my friends 2nd child or my customers who tell me about there expecting children. No I don't really want to see baby pictures and no I don't want to visit another maternity ward.

On a lighter note seeing my OH's face when the dr was telling us the increased risk for twins was absolutely priceless. For at least 10 mins after our appt all he kept saying was twins, I don't know about twins. Had to remind him that he was kinda putting the cart before the horse, we have to actually be pregnant to have twins.

 

[xsamx]

im so glad im not alone. Id always dreamed of having a big family,3 or 4 kids all close together so they can all play together and be best friends when theyr older. I had my first child 12 years ago and my ex turned out to be a ****** so we split and just after i found out i had chlamydia!! I didnt find someone i could trust and settle down with untill 5 years ago, anyway life gets in the way, debts,jobs etc and didnt feel we could TTC untill Jan last year, now iv found out iv got all these problems due to the chlamydia and dont no my chances of concieving naturally. my daughter is 12 and is often lonely on holidays,days out etc,we often have to take a friend with us. I hate the fact thas shes grown up alone and even if we do have a baby now shes too old to have anything in common with them. I know i should be greatfull i have 1 but it ghurts when all my friends have got 2 or 3 and planning more. to make it worse my ex who caused all this has had other kids..soo not fair!!!

 

[Starflyy]

I have a son who is turning 3 in a few weeks. All of our friends had their first child around when we had our son or maybe a year before hand. By now all of our friends have 2 or 3 children. Our son is the only one without a sibbling. In his class at daycare he is the only one without a little sister or brother. I feel like everyone else we know is passing us by. I know it's not the worst thing in the world, and I should be so glad to have a happy and healthy child, but I'm just feeling very sorry for myself lately.

Anyone else???

Hi I know exactly how you feel, I have been ttc for 3 years. I have a 7 year old son and last night I cried myself to sleep. It's been really hard, I have never been on any birth control at all. In all my life.

I have a chemical imbalance in my pituitary gland in my brain which secretes 6 times the normal level of prolactin so my body always thinks it's pregnant which makes it impossible for me to conceive without some form of medication. I have been having blood tests for the last year every 2 weeks to monitor the hormone levels closely and will have to continue having these.

On the 24th of May I had a Laparoscopy, Hysteroscopy, D & C and the dye injected into my falopian tubes to check for blockages.

The recovery was a lot worse than I thought but a lot of people have had pretty good recoveries after these procedures so I guess I am just a little unlucky. I got an infection in my belly button after the surgery and the pains from the CO2 were awful.

This sounds really stupid but the reason I cried myself to sleep last night was because a girl at work told me she was pregnant after her and hubby had only been trying for 2 months. Usually I just expect this kind of news.. Im kind of used to everyone else having children around me. Since tying to concieve there have been 5 babies born at my work. Its only now that there wasn't anyone pregnant at work so at least it wasn't always being flaunted in my face but now its all happening again.

I like this girl at work and I am genuinely happy for her and hubby but on the inside I am really hurting and feel like a failure.

So I have decided to join a forum as of today, to maybe help with the emotional side of things. I'm hoping that maybe someone on here will be able to help us all get though it. I feel for everyone especially those who have been trying for longer or aren't already a parent. My heart goes out to you all.

Next wednesday I am finally going to see the specialist 3.5 weeks post op to work out if there are any other factors contirbuting to my infertility. Keep your fingers crossed for me and I will keep you posted...

Much love Rachael.