Feel like quitting

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by stouffer, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. stouffer

    stouffer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,856
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't know if this is just a wobble or what but the last few days I've really wanted to stop BF'ing but I feel so bad about it.

    My baby's just been through a period of cluster feeding so maybe it's the sleep deprivation but sometimes I feel like BF'ing is making me miserable. I feel so worn out by it, physically and mentally. As soon as she starts feeding I get in a really awful mood. I wonder if this hormonal.

    I'm also feeling really tied down by it. For example, today we went shopping. I spent half an hour shopping and more than 2 hours feeding her in total and she still cried like she was hungry the whole way home even though I'd just fed and changed her. She feeds for at least 40 minutes at a time and usually every hour and a half during the day and every 2-3 hours at night. My HV says after 20 mins she's just grazing but she's still swallowing pretty often and hates coming off if I try limiting her so I don't think the HV is right in this case. :shrug:

    I keep thinking how nice it would be if I could have a break. Since she she feeds so often I never get the chance to express milk and the one time I did manage to, she drank the whole lot and then breastfed for 40 minutes as usual anyway.

    But the idea of not BF'ing makes me feel really selfish. I don't want to give her something synthetic just because I'm feeling fed up. It doesn't seem like a good enough reason to stop. I want to do what's best for her.

    Aargh I just don't know what to do. My OH just says do what I think is best. I have no idea.

    Anyone else felt like this?
     
  2. Sadie79

    Sadie79 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2011
    Messages:
    642
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yes totally! I promise the emotions get better hun- even if the cluster feeding doesn't,lol! My baby had a nice phase of almost sttn a couple of weeks ago after going through the exact same as you and now he's back to long long feeds and lots of waking but now ifeel different. What your going through is hormones and they honestly do settle - after about 6 weeks for me. Good luck xxx
     
  3. cooper2010

    cooper2010 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2011
    Messages:
    592
    Likes Received:
    0
    Try to give it a few more days. I went through this especially when she was cluster feeding! Sometimes we give formula when I need a break....so maybe stock up on your expressed milk and then you can have a break.
     
  4. mrs_park

    mrs_park Mummy to THREE BOYS!

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,560
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know exactly how you feel hun, my LO was exactly the same. I know right now, it seems like all you do is feed and the days and nights seem endless.

    The next few days/weeks/months will fly by and you'll be so glad you stuck it out. It will get easier, I promise.

    Trust me, once bf is established, it is SO much better than faffing around with bottles.

    Hang in there, it's tough but your doing a great job :hugs:
     
  5. grandbleu

    grandbleu MAL with Little Blue

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2010
    Messages:
    3,064
    Likes Received:
    0
    I feel the same way sometimes...I'm always "on call" - I'm just shattered and want sleep so bad. My boy has been so hungry lately I feel like my boobs can't even keep up with the demand. I want a break as well but I don't want to give up or supplement with formula. I'm hoping that this is just a phase for a growth spirt and we can go back to feeding every 2-3 hours like in the beginning...

    Good luck hon - you're not alone in your feelings.
     
  6. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    Messages:
    16,143
    Likes Received:
    0
    to be honest FF isnt much easier and FF babies cluster feed too so having to make 5 bottles in the space of 1 hour isnt easy and is very tiring too.
    my first was ff and second bf and all i can say is if u want to stop then do what is best for u.
    corey doesnt go long between feeds even now, hes so greedy but it does get easier x
     
  7. summer rain

    summer rain Mum of 5

    Joined:
    May 5, 2010
    Messages:
    17,116
    Likes Received:
    0
    Awww hun, believe me it will get easier and feeds will space out and/or become shorter in duration, honestly if you can hang on in there you'll be amazed at how easy and convenient BF is in the later months xx
     
  8. eliana

    eliana Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2010
    Messages:
    141
    Likes Received:
    0
    For me, breastfeeding was a nightmare until about the 6 week mark. Cracked nipples, cluster feeding, problems with latch, marathon feeding sessions. I felt i couldn't go out the door and well was exhausted really, physically and mentally. On more than one occassion my husband watched me crying whilst feeding lo and asked me if he could go any buy formula. I was desperate for a break, but like you felt selfish when i considered giving up.

    I honestly think that it is still early days and that it will get better. As babies more efficient at sucking, the feeding time reduces. They begin to go a bit longer between feeds and periods of cluster feeding tend to occur more during growth spurts rather than on a daily basis.

    Why don't you set yourself a goal-maybe getting to six weeks? It might help you to get through the next week or so. And then you could evaluate again?

    Saying that, i don't think anyone should ever feel selfish for doing what they think is best for them.

    I'm so glad i stuck with it and my son is now almost six months. Good luck.xx
     
  9. katlin

    katlin Mom of 5

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    2,769
    Likes Received:
    1
    I've got a compelling reason to keep you on the boob I express and I spend close to three hours pumping a day, n about another forty minutes washing the bottles valves nipples ect. n then about another thirty minutes sterilizing and another ten minutes putting the bottles back together and measuring them out. This is an approximate total time I spend dealing with everything. And also think of the price increase if you choose to go to formula you'll also go through more diapers because ff babies poop more. Hun I urge you to take it day by day set yourself a time frame say two months and if your still unhappy then stop but please really consider if bottle feeding us the route you want to go. I'm also going to suggest sitting down and asking yourself why you decided to breast feed and see if how your feeling now out weighs it.
     
  10. ashley2pink

    ashley2pink Mom to 4 girls

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2010
    Messages:
    3,658
    Likes Received:
    176
    You are in the super demanding part of breastfeeding still. I found things to get easier at 7 weeks. She is much better with spacing out nursings and not demanding to be fed so constantly. My last DD took nearly 3 months though.
    It could be a hormone thing if breastfeeding makes you feel grumpy or sad. there is a thing called dysphoric milk ejection reflex which causes a surge of negative emotion right before let down. Sometimes during feedings as well. I get irritated right before my milk even lets down. I'm not sure if thats what you were referring to when you said it put you in an awful mood. Or it could just be baby blues which just puts you in a mad mood in general all of the time. I have had that with each of my kids. That goes away too. I literally feel so miserable when I have baby blues and just pretty much hate everything. Even bf'ing. I just wanted to run away and I was so freaking tired all of the time and dreaded going to bed because I knew I wouldnt be getting sleep anyway. My baby was sleeping better at 7 weeks as well. She still woke up every 2-3 hrs but the feeds were shorter and she went right back to sleep after instead of being wide awake after.
    hang in there, usually after 6-7 weeks breastfeeding just gets so much better and each month after that is easier and easier!
     
  11. special_kala

    special_kala love my bugs

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2008
    Messages:
    21,358
    Likes Received:
    0
    It will get easier hun :hugs:

    Take it day by day and things will start getting easier. When your LO is so young it feels like all you do is feed them and thats it but the older they get the more they do (little smiles etc) and it really helps
     
  12. BattyNora

    BattyNora Third trimester with 1st

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2009
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Didn't want to read and run - you're not alone in going through this and thinking those exact thoughts. It's tough but you know deep down how you would feel if you switched, and whether it is worth persevering through your troubles at the moment xx
     
  13. Little S

    Little S Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2010
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    0
    I feel exactly the same hun - my little one is 2 weeks old and so far I reallly havent enjoyed BF. Its tiring and painful and so many times I feel like crying as im the only one who can feed - it feels like such a tie. I feel so guilty for feeling this way and I dont know how much longer I can do it for.
     
  14. bambino

    bambino Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2008
    Messages:
    749
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have been giving a one formula feed at 5 ish to give me a couple of hours to spend time doing tea / playing with my toddler while my hubby feeds her, it works for me and i don't mind giving a bit of formula if it means we are all happier. Do what you feel is best, you have to be happy with your choice x
     
  15. preggers amo

    preggers amo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2011
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    0
    ive been doing the same as bambino! but usually 2 or sometimes 3 bottle feeds a day, i try to breastfeed as much as i can , its still early days(baby rania is not even 3 weeks yet) and i am still thinking of giving up but taking one day at a time, when i think i cant give a feed myself i give her the bottle,im glad she takes it just as well as the breast.you really do have to take care of yourself, healthy mom equals healthy baby.....which is what i have to keep telling myself as i feel realllly guilty aswell when giving her the formula but i cant help it, cluster feeding nowadays is tough mentally physically and emotionally for the most of it, im like crying half the day on small things cuz my hormones are so out of whack!
     
  16. stouffer

    stouffer Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,856
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks everyone for your support and advice. I feel a lot better about it after reading your responses and I think I'll take your advice and set myself a goal of getting to 6 weeks and reassess how it is then.

    And thanks Ashley, I'd never heard of dysphoric milk ejection reflex but I'll look it up.

    I'm glad I'm not the only one! :)
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice