feeling a bit well ignored.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by lilwelsh1, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. lilwelsh1

    lilwelsh1 3 happy kids+2 angels

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    i dont mean to sound like a whiney lil kid but people in my family really seem to make me feel like they arent interested and dont care. No one asked about my dating scan or to c the pictures, when i showed them they all went hmm and walked off or talked about something else.

    When i first announced i was pregnant i was met with either total silence or told i was mad, granted getting pregnant 2 months after a mc is scary but not mad or a reason to be negative. I thought it would settle by now and the family would relax a little bit cuz i thought they were just worried it would happen again. Now i just feel like im not allowed to talk about anything baby or pregnancy related. I dont c anyone very often so its not like they could say its all i ever talk about cuz theres no point, eyes glaze over, the kettle goes on or phones r played with.

    When i mentioned no one actually asked about the scan or anything i was simply asked 'oh so u only got pregnant to be fussed over?' charming! This child is their family too and i feel like its a taboo subject. Sometimes i feel like not bothering at all and when im either admitted to hospital to be induced or go into labour i might not even mention it, i'll probably be called a drama queen, like one relative kindly called me when i mentioned i was already under a consultant, classed as high risk and looking at early induction as with the first 2.

    Then i think am i being childish n silly? I've done this twice before so maybe i dont need to excitedly discuss how i want everything to go, my plans and wishes. Maybe asking for baby name suggestions is silly and it is 'too early'' to be thnking about these things? I was even taken the pee out of when i mentioned i use bnb, some relatives think its ridiculous and im broadcasting my pregnancy all over the internet!? :wacko: i dont understand the weirdness, is it me? Or r they being ridiculous?
     
  2. CeeCee2010

    CeeCee2010 Mummy to Jessica xxx

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    Not you my lovely, sometimes people are just ludicrous! Sometimes I don't think people realise how much doing something can hurt you and maybe your family just don't realise that yet. And like you said after your MC maybe they are cautious but that doesn't give them the right to take away your right to talk about your baby. I would back off a little hun and let them come to you, after all stressing yourself will do bubba no favours. And BnB is fabulous! Us ladies are always here if and when you need us :)
     
  3. Palestrina

    Palestrina Well-Known Member

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    As long as you have support from elsewhere then you don't need them. Love doesn't stem only from families. The only people you can rely on are the people that are there for you and that may not be your family, it may come from friends or otherwise. Can you be a little more specific about who in particular is making you feel this way? Is it cousins and distant relatives or are we talking about your parents and siblings? If it's the latter then maybe you could talk to your mom about it and let her know that you're feeling a bit alone and patronized.

    I've had a similar situation with my inlaws. I was so happy to finally announce my pregnancy after 12wks waiting and all my friends and family are ecstatic. I don't care for being the center of attention but I do appreciate when people ask me how I'm feeling and how the pregnancy is going. Women in particular seem to understand that this is a big deal for me and are supporting me and encouraging me. My inlaws on the other hand have been a little distant. Recently at a family gathering nobody mentioned my pregnancy at all. My sil whispered in my ear "congratulations" but very very quietly like it's still a secret. Nobody toasted or cheered for us and nobody asked me how I was. It was so bizarre. Whenever OH or I mentioned the pregnancy we were met with blank faces and polite nods and then they changed the subject. It was bizarre and extremely hurtful. My inlaws haven't called me once to ask me how I'm feeling since I announced this pregnancy. Oh well, it doesn't really matter considering how supportive my own family and friends are.
     
  4. My4thmiracle

    My4thmiracle Mummy to baby Nico + 3

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    My family are the same and I let them know how I felt too. Infact I said you could at least act as if you care or even maybe congratulate me. They will all forget when there's a little bundle of joy to be fussed over, but I won't forget.

    Either you do the same as me and let them know exactly how you feel or just get on and hold that grudge til baby is here when they all fuss and then say how they made you feel.

    I took my 12 week scan up to my mums boxing day as the while family was there and I passed it to my sisters, both both looked and said awe, my mum said what's that, I said my scan pic and she went oh and walked out the room lol, Ive switched off now but will say more if it carries on.

    No advice really , but your not alone.
     

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