feeling down due to people telling me its time for a baby.

[Sus09]

Hi ladies!

Just needed to talk to someone. I had to cry today as its all getting to me. Everybody is hinting or nagging at me and my OH that its time for a baby. If they only knew i want it to happen so badly and that we are trying.

I feel so under preassure about it!!

Our families and friends are so insensitive.

Has amyone experienced this? And how do you deal with it?

 

[cebethel]

Hi ladies!

Just needed to talk to someone. I had to cry today as its all getting to me. Everybody is hinting or nagging at me and my OH that its time for a baby. If they only knew i want it to happen so badly and that we are trying.

I feel so under preassure about it!!

Our families and friends are so insensitive.

Has amyone experienced this? And how do you deal with it?

I'm sorry Sus

Its like people don't realize that havin a baby is not as easy as everyone thinks. Im sorry you're feeling down

 

[crystal443]

Its so difficult having problems concieving without added pressure. I hope you feel better soon

 

[rjsmam]

so sorry you're feeling down... i know what you mean about people being insensitive.. i am rubbish at dealing with this - i usually mutter something stupid in response.. but inside i wanna yell.. 'yes actually we've been at it like rabbits, i take my darn temperature every morning on a bl**dy annoying beeping thermometer, i've been peeing on sticks like a maniac, i'm taking supplements which are making me screwy & i spend hrs gazing at charts on feritility website.. but no i'm not pregnant yet'

maybe i will yet........

 

[Spoomie]

so sorry you're feeling down... i know what you mean about people being insensitive.. i am rubbish at dealing with this - i usually mutter something stupid in response.. but inside i wanna yell.. 'yes actually we've been at it like rabbits, i take my darn temperature every morning on a bl**dy annoying beeping thermometer, i've been peeing on sticks like a maniac, i'm taking supplements which are making me screwy & i spend hrs gazing at charts on feritility website.. but no i'm not pregnant yet'

maybe i will yet........

Love it! And totally agree with your response you'd LIKE to give. When you put it like that we sound like a bunch of lunatics!!!

Re: original question. I find that a prickly response usually does the trick; they either think, 'Oh gosh, they're having trouble' and have the good sense not to pursue it further, or, they figure it's so far off your radar that they'd best not ask again. Win, win, and the subject becomes out of bounds. After my last mc the assistant at our greengrocer's asked 'Is number 2 coming soon?' to which I replied, 'Well it was, but it isn't anymore.' Conversation stopper.........but I felt like I'd asserted myself

 

[HappyAuntie]

For years I used the humorous approach whenever someone asked when we were going to have a baby - I'd tell them that we were very happy with our cat, thank you for asking. But eventually I got fed up enough and started responding with, "If you're not God and you're not my husband, it's none of your damned business." And I really don't care if my response made them uncomfortable, their question made me uncomfortable! Society needs to realize that family planning is a private matter and NOT a suitable topic for small talk.

 

[Indigo77]

Sus.....just give them this next time they decide to place their nose in your business.....

Spoiler

 

[dachsundmom]

GFY all the way! Lol

 

[Sus09]

so sorry you're feeling down... i know what you mean about people being insensitive.. i am rubbish at dealing with this - i usually mutter something stupid in response.. but inside i wanna yell.. 'yes actually we've been at it like rabbits, i take my darn temperature every morning on a bl**dy annoying beeping thermometer, i've been peeing on sticks like a maniac, i'm taking supplements which are making me screwy & i spend hrs gazing at charts on feritility website.. but no i'm not pregnant yet'

maybe i will yet....

​

....

Love it! And totally agree with your response you'd LIKE to give. When you put it like that we sound like a bunch of lunatics!!!

Re: original question. I find that a prickly response usually does the trick; they either think, 'Oh gosh, they're having trouble' and have the good sense not to pursue it further, or, they figure it's so far off your radar that they'd best not ask again. Win, win, and the subject becomes out of bounds. After my last mc the assistant at our greengrocer's asked 'Is number 2 coming soon?' to which I replied, 'Well it was, but it isn't anymore.' Conversation stopper.........but I felt like I'd asserted myself

I love it!!! Yes we do look like a bunch of lunatics. Ia a good way of course

Thank you so much for your ideas, they have cheered me up and i will use some of them. I might use the cat one

I would never ask as i am aware some people have problems. But some people think that if they ask all the time you will get pregnant straight away!!

 

[Macwooly]

DH & I used to get it all the time and I stopped being pleasant very quickly to most people I would say "so you'd like to know if we're having sex?!" followed with "do you ask everyone about their sex lives?!"

But one day I wig out big style with MIL and SILs asking me and said "no we're not having f***ing babies as it will p**s you off and I'm on birth control"

Funnily enough no one has asked us since about babies LOL But then I'm not known for being subtle

It is annoying but I love HA's answers and if they aren't your husband or God then it really is none of their business!

Lots of for you

 

[tigerlilly]

We told everyone we didn't want kids and it worked! a little too well in fact! big to you x

 

[hockey24]

I know its frustrating and depending on the time of the month, I have broken down in tears as well but most people's intent is not to be cruel and I try to remember that and if I can't, the biting remarks always seem to do the trick!

 

[wana b a mom]

so sorry you're feeling down... i know what you mean about people being insensitive.. i am rubbish at dealing with this - i usually mutter something stupid in response.. but inside i wanna yell.. 'yes actually we've been at it like rabbits, i take my darn temperature every morning on a bl**dy annoying beeping thermometer, i've been peeing on sticks like a maniac, i'm taking supplements which are making me screwy & i spend hrs gazing at charts on feritility website.. but no i'm not pregnant yet'

maybe i will yet........

that's funny! you sound just like me!! maybe we should tell them!

 

[themarshas]

I'm in the same boat. Since the day we got married (just over 2 years ago) everyone in our families (which are verrry big) keeps asking "so when are you having kids?". We bought a new SUV last week and now everyone is like so when are the kids coming? It's never ending and now that we are trying (and absolutely not telling anyone) it is even harder to just laugh all the comments off.

 

[wana b a mom]

Hi ladies!

Just needed to talk to someone. I had to cry today as its all getting to me. Everybody is hinting or nagging at me and my OH that its time for a baby. If they only knew i want it to happen so badly and that we are trying.

I feel so under preassure about it!!

Our families and friends are so insensitive.

Has amyone experienced this? And how do you deal with it?

Don't let them get to you. This has happen to me MANY times . I told this girl once "You know, maybe you shouldn't ask such questions because you never know what people are actually going through or if it's hard for them or not... this is a sensitive subject and you should be more careful with your comments. When I get pregnant I will tell you for sure but until then please don't ask anything else". She apologized and promised not to bother me anymore and actually was very supportive at the end.

and hang in there!!

 

[wana b a mom]

I'm in the same boat. Since the day we got married (just over 2 years ago) everyone in our families (which are verrry big) keeps asking "so when are you having kids?". We bought a new SUV last week and now everyone is like so when are the kids coming? It's never ending and now that we are trying (and absolutely not telling anyone) it is even harder to just laugh all the comments off.

I find it that people (family and friends) want to know more about your plans and don't know how to ask, so they just say the usual stuff: "when are you gonna have kids?", "don't you want to have a baby?" "when are you making us grandparents?", 'when are you making your parents grandparents?"
I told my parents and brothers and close friends that we are TTC and just started testing to see what is wrong (over a year of TTC and no baby) so this has seemed to help some. They have all been very supportive and don't ask too many questions anymore

 

[StarSign]

I'm in the same boat. Since the day we got married (just over 2 years ago) everyone in our families (which are verrry big) keeps asking "so when are you having kids?". We bought a new SUV last week and now everyone is like so when are the kids coming? It's never ending and now that we are trying (and absolutely not telling anyone) it is even harder to just laugh all the comments off.

I find it that people (family and friends) want to know more about your plans and don't know how to ask, so they just say the usual stuff: "when are you gonna have kids?", "don't you want to have a baby?" "when are you making us grandparents?", 'when are you making your parents grandparents?"
I told my parents and brothers and close friends that we are TTC and just started testing to see what is wrong (over a year of TTC and no baby) so this has seemed to help some. They have all been very supportive and don't ask too many questions anymore

Support is great and I also believe in telling close friends/family that we're trying and appreciate your silent support.

 

[BlackIsiz]

Sus, dont be upset. It really is no1 else's biz when u plan on having kids. God will allow it to happen when it's time. In the mean while enjoy ur man and let things happen as they should. Good luck

 

[Sus09]

Just to make things worse my mother phoned me last night, after seein a photo i emailed her. And she said that i was pregnant as i had a "puffed" face on the photo. Flattering!!

I took some of your ideas and answered telling her: "yes we are pregnant, my OH was 4 months gone and he was now showing, as his beer belly had grown" lol lol she asked no more..

On the other side i booked a facial today to get rid of my "puffed face" lol. My mother can flatter!!

 

[LLbean]

ok....I got a dog and every time I talk about him I say My Baby... and when my MIL sees him I refer to him as her grandchild... she is now calling him that too... HAHAHAHA...and HE IS!!

But I think she finally eased off a bit