Today is my first wedding anniversary and rather than feeling happy I feel really upset and down. I found out I was pregnant one week after I got married but had a miscarriage three weeks later. We weren't even trying and it was an accident. We always planned on trying as soon as we were married and to find out I was pregnant so soon was fantastic. I was devastated after the miscarriage and couldn't help associating the wedding with the it. I became completly obsessed with ttc, it doesn't help that I am 37 and panicking that time is running out. I fell pregnant again in November but had a missed miscarriage at Christmas. I don't know how I got through the first part of this year really. I'm now pregnant again but don't really have any symptoms and I'm worried there is something wrong. I had a scan at 6+4 which was good but after a couple of days the doubt has started eating away at me. Anyway, as I said it's our first anniversary and I feel so angry that we have been robbed of what should have been one of the happiest years of our lives. I had a look through our wedding box yesterday and saw all the love and best wishes that people sent us and it turned out it wasn't enough. I feel so angry that this has happened to us. I'm trying to stay positive at the moment and I'm praying that this pregnancy will stick but it's so hard. The irrational part of me just shouts over the rational part, if you see what I mean. Anyway, sorry for the self indulgant moan but I had to get it off my chest, hopefully I will relax for the rest of the day now. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. Hannah x