Feeling irritable, fed up, lonely...

[bubbles_cymru]

....anyone else??? My only company is my DD who is 4. My other half is either working or out playing pool. He never really does anything nice with me. All my friends don't really bother through being too busy with their own lives - no one ever just sends me a text or calls me to say "so how are you doing?" I see my parents sure which I cherish -they are very close by. I never go anywhere unless I am on my own or with my child. I feel very lonely and isolated. I miss a girly chat, a meal out, some company even - hell anything. I even looked at cinema listings today to go on my own My husband goes to pool and still has his social life - he knows I hate him going but it is something he has always done - it isn't so much the playing pool, it's all the cider he drinks when he plays. If I say I don't want him to go I am accused of "starting" - which is what happened last night, he came in, changed and left, didn't say anything. My little girl was asleep as she was shattered so I just sat and cried.

I feel so angry, so down, so irritable. I shout at my daughter as I just have no patience at the moment, and end up apologising - she must think mummy is crazy - a concoction of hormones I am hoping but I am really not a happy girl. Is this going to get worse when the baby arrives? I found out at 3 weeks so this pregnancy has really dragged - I am 15 weeks with another 25 to go!!! Sure I really want this child but when will I start feeling happy again

I was previously on anti depressant meds and weened off in my 4th week of pregnancy for past issues. I was also born without a thyroid which causes depression in itself. I panic I am going to get post natal depression this time.

Work feels like an escape for 5 minutes until I walk into a dark dingy office which depresses me further. I have been here 8 years and really hate it - the atmosphere. Just ...hate it. Then I go home knowing I have to deal with my daughters 4 year old trials and tantrums - she really is putting me through my paces and knows how to push my buttons!

Does anyone else feel like this?

 

[Sunseal]

Aw sounds like you're having a rough time
I can kind of relate to feeling lonely and irritable. My OH works long hours and he will very often just get in from work, shove dinner down his throat and go straight to sleep. Sometimes he'll go to the pub with a couple of close friends after work but he never stays very long (saying that this Saturday he's due to go out with them and have a 'proper drink' ie.. a very very late one!)
I feel like I don't get a lot of time with him, though he does try and keep his Sunday's free. Our little boy only really gets to see him for a few minutes before he goes to bed or on a Sunday and if we're not out, OH doesn't really do anything with him!
We moved from Portsmouth to Winchester in October as OH's business is here, but it meant leaving my Mum and family in Portsmouth. I miss her specifically very much, we used to do a lot together! It doesn't help that in Winchester I really don't have many friends at all.. like.. one! That I see sometimes!
Feel a bit secluded.. I do have a car but it's not always a lot of fun going out on your own with a 3 year old and I have to be careful how much fuel I'm using.
Because of this I spend a lot of time indoors, cleaning or playing with my little boy. He get's bored sometimes though so I try and get him out to the park etc as much as possible.

 

[bubbles_cymru]

I dread the late ones. Hubby getting drunk annoys me at the best of times nvm an all nighter.

Is your little boy 3 today?

I am grateful for mum and dad being so close - but I miss having a mate to chat to other than on bloody facebook! I have 600+ "friends" on there - not one of them messages to see how I am!! Quite a few times I have considered deleting 90% of them but it takes to long xx

 

[Brightxeyes]

I understand what you mean. When the OH makes time for friends and no quality time for you, and say you live with him he says "I see you all the time!"

Maybe, and I've tried this, don't mention him not giving you time when he mentions his plans or he's about to leave or when he comes back.

One day like over dinner, mention that you've been feeling a little horomonal and down lately and things are getting on top of you and you'd like to maybe have a date night just for the two of you, or a family night for all of you.

I suggested this to my other half in the aftermath of an argument and he took it on board. Money is tight, he works all the time, and sometimes we're both tired. I just suggested even if it's once a week we each make a big deal about a dinner night. Where either he'll cook a nice meal while I put my feet up, or I will. So a meal that requires a bit more effort, rather than throw in the oven. Then put a film on. And if you do have the money, then cinema one night or eat out, or a day out for your daughter.

Just explain you'd like a bit of a dedicated night spent together. And what's in it for him? Wear something that makes you feel good, do up your hair, and be playful and flirty. You still need to be intimate or at least affectionate. It's good for your happiness.

Me and my other half had a couple of rough lathes for different reasons and recently it is me feeling down and alone and only going to work and watching my bump move when I get back. I felt alone. But he's started to put effort in after a talk last week. We've been a bit more flirty and intimate where as before we went weeks without doing anything but sleeping in the bedroom.

It's helped a bit and I feel a bit better and he talks a little bit more when I get home from work etc.

Sometimes us girls have to make the first step. So find out a night he's free, or suggest you'd like to surprise him and ask him what day he can be free for. Make a lovely meal and give him a lovely night, and if he asks what's this for just say you want to spend a bit of quality time with him and maybe this could be your date night?

Goodluck I hope you feel better.

When it comes to friends maybe just talk to them say you feel a bit down and explain that you miss them and don't want to grow distant just because you're having a baby xxx

 

[HopefulMarla]

Yeah. I completely know how you feel. It's really hard. Making human life is hard, and I think sometimes men or women who haven't been pregnant don't truly understand. I think that to get by in life, normally, despite being pregnant, you have to create happiness for yourself. People will leave you alone more times than not. It's about learning to be happy no matter who is there, and what they're doing! This is especially hard to tackle when pregnant. I know I have had a hard time with it! Just remember that you're a WOMAN. You were built out of pure strength. You don't need anyone. You have the hardest job of all, and still wake up everyday and do it!! So just remember how wonderful you are. I hope that helps. That's what I tell myself

 

[Gingerspice]

I know how you feel. My OH works away for long periods of time. He was home for 2 days in about 12 weeks. Recently my dd (aged 4) has been ill requiring lots of dr appointments and visits and with her starting school and all the intro days etc I'm just using my leave up as seem to be at drs or school etc. I reckon work are annoyed with me. Plus all my appointments etc.

OH is home in a few weeks time. Just in time for 20 week scan. He missed the 12 week one.

I text ppl every night to just feel like I chatted to s one one but often they don't reply.

 

[RcdM]

I can relate a bit too, and if we lived nearby, I'd say let's go hang out! Lol but my DH has tons and tons of friends, they're always calling him to go here or there and do this and that. And it makes me jealous. And he's gotten better about not going out like ALL the time, but he does still go out at least twice a week. And I am always left at home with DD. I complain because I want him home with us, and that he's always going out. He tells me I can go out too and he'd be happy to watch DD... problem is I have no friends! I have my best friend and she's my only friend, and she has no kids but is always busy busy so it's really hard to even have times that work for both of us. So instead I sit at home and feel sad and lonely. It's much worse while pregnant because it makes me all the more emotional about it. Sometimes if we can find a sitter, DH and I will go out together, but that happens like once every month or two. I don't know how to meet friends that I have something in common with. I've tried hard. Every time I think I met someone that might end up being a good friend... they move or they end up being really weird and I don't agree with their lifestyle, it's always something like that. I've wondered if I'm just being super picky about friends, but at the same time, when I'm out with a girl or co-worker or something that I don't have much in common with, I find myself just wishing I could go home than continue to hang out with them.

Pity party I know. My DH has even said I need to stop feeling bad for myself or trying to make him feel bad for me. I don't really know what to do. I just hope it gets better someday I guess. Hang in there. In the mean time, come online and talk to us! Lol