Feeling liberated and taking a break.

[BabyB2014]

I want to post that I need a break from all of this. It has been 8 unsuccessful and depressing months of ttc our 1st. I don't handle stress well and I have realized that I am turning this experience into a negative one and it is causing tension on mine and my husbands relationship and my emotional well-being. Every cycle I get myself caught up in the idea that this will be the month, we will do everything we can, I chart, I use OPK's and I stress myself and my husband out to BD even when we are exhausted from work. It has become a job and I don't want it to be. This experience should be enjoyed. This is the last time in our lives it will just be us. After we get our BFP our lives will change and we will never be able to get what we have 'now' back. It is like the little kid that cant wait to grow up and be an adult. Once you become an adult there is no going back to being a kid. So I have decided that I need to take a step back. We have 4 more months until we are deemed 'infertile' and that scares me. But I cant live in fear that we have something wrong with us. So when it time for my annual exam I will discuss our options and we will pick back up where we left off today, but hopefully liberated and focused enough to continue to make it a positive experience.

So I packed up my BBT, my RJ & EPO supplements, and my OPK's, I deleted my fertility phone app's and I am vowing to stay away from google ttc search questions. I can do this! And to all of you other women out there that are in the same position as I am, I hope you are able to do what is best for you and your other half and work through the stress, sorrow, and complete and utter disappointment that you get each cycle and learn how to enjoy your significant other and this experience.

Baby dust to all and good luck to all of us!