Feeling like a failure at being a mom/wife

[iluvmyfamily]

Not sure if anyone will really reply as it doesn't seem very busy in here but I think just getting my feelings out could help.

I feel really sh*tty about myself right now. I had my baby girl 4 days ago and I have yet to stay up during the night with her. My dh has been doing it and I seriously feel like a failure. It's not that I don't wanna do it but I just can't seem to stay up. I hear her waking up and I keep knocking out. DH will get up out of bed to feed and change her, then she'll start to fall asleep again but then wakes up because her paci fell out of her mouth. She does this all night long but during the day she's perfectly fine. I don't get it. And dh is exhausted and I hear him sighing during the night too. I know he don't bother to wake me up or ask me to help him because I'm sure he just thinks my body is recooperating but I find it wrong on my behalf that I don't move a muscle. I mean, granted, right now I'm in pain. My breast ache, my hips and pelvis/groin ache, and if I move too much I start bleeding more. But for me it's not excuse because I'm not normally like this. With my other babies I used to get up when I had to and yes DH would help anyway but I felt like it was more or less my place. I'm not one of those "it's supposed to be them mother's job to do everything", I'm 50/50, we both are, but I think I just don't feel as if I'm pulling my weight. I wanna FORCE myself out of bed!! I just don't feel it. Why...

 

[mercedybear]

you are recovering and need to take care of yourself, and lucky that dh helps so much. Dont feel bad, you will recover soon enough and be the one getting up during the night.For the 1st week after my c-section I was on extreme pain meds and had a hard time getting out of bed at night ( + severely swollen legs etc) and I had to have dh help alot. Remember your hormones are crashing as well.

 

[embeth]

You are recovering and its probably all to do with your hormones, they will be all over the place at the moment. Don't be too hard on yourself, do what you can, when you can. You husband sounds really supportive. Hope things get easier xxx

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

You need to rest and recover - glad your husband can take care of you and the kids! There will be plenty of time for you to be Super Mom when you are feeling up to it again. (plus you just carried her and gave birth to her - I say it's 50/50 to let him pull first shift for a week!)

 

[iluvmyfamily]

The funny thing is (well, not so funny) is that he's out of work so before he has to start working again it'd be good if he can help me in the meantime haha. I just hate not being able to do what I normally do. He thinks I just wanna sleep (not in a bad way, he just said he didn't wanna wake me up thinking I wanted rest) but it wasn't that. I'm actually awake but can't move lol.