Feeling miserable

[FactoryGirl]

My ex split up with me just after my 12 week scan, we had a house together and I ended up having to move back in with my parents whiles he's stayed living there.

He got into a relationship with a girl when I was about 20 weeks who has a 10 month only baby and lied to me about it for 6 weeks.

For my past few midwife appointments they've suspected that the baby is breech I'm 37 weeks now so I went for a scan to check the presentation today, but it turns out he was head down all along! I'd really got it into my head that I was going to have a c-section and I thought I'd be coming away today with a date that I would be having my baby on.

I'm glad he's head down because it's best for him but I'm gutted that I now don't know when I'll be having my baby. My ex wants to be my birth partner, and I told him he could be but today it all just hit me that I'll be having a natural birth now and I really don't want him there. I find it so hard to be around him and I want to be back with him so much.

I've hated every second of being pregnant because of my ex splitting with me and seeing him move on has been absolute torture for me. I'm tried so hard to stay friends for the sake of our child but it's just getting too hard for me.

I've spent all day crying my eyes out and I just want all of this to be over now. Im so miserable and questioning whether keeping this baby after we split was the biggest mistake ever, I wish I'd never met my ex and I could get him out of my life.

 

[BunnyN]

Sorry you are having a hard time. I think its nice that you are making an effort to stay on good terms with your ex for the sake of your baby. When it comes to the birth I think you have to concentrate on what is best for you though. It is important to feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible to let labour progress propperly. Having someone around that stresses you out could actually lead to complications. I would be honest but firm and tell him you appreciate him trying to support you and you think its important he is part of the babies life but you realised you need your mum's (or whoever your birthing partener will be) support while you are in labour and having him around would just be complicated for you.

 

[FactoryGirl]

Sorry you are having a hard time. I think its nice that you are making an effort to stay on good terms with your ex for the sake of your baby. When it comes to the birth I think you have to concentrate on what is best for you though. It is important to feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible to let labour progress propperly. Having someone around that stresses you out could actually lead to complications. I would be honest but firm and tell him you appreciate him trying to support you and you think its important he is part of the babies life but you realised you need your mum's (or whoever your birthing partener will be) support while you are in labour and having him around would just be complicated for you.

Thanks for the reply. I don't know who to have with me, I'm not even sure if I want my mum with me... I think I'm just going to do it alone.

 

[Misscalais]

Big, big hugs!! I really feel for women who have partners who leave them during pregnancy. Happen to my sister but she still had her ex at the birth. ( as well as me my mum and one of my other sisters ) he is a really good dad but they just weren't meant to be i guess. She also had another baby to a really awful man who also left her not long after she had had her baby but he has nothing to do with her any more.
Long story short shes with a wonderful man now who treats her kids just like they were his own while it might not feel ok now it really sounds like you're better off without someone like that.