feeling out of place in RL; can anyone else relate?

[18singlemom2b]

in my personal life i'm having a really hard time right now. i wouldn't change my pregnancy for the world, having a baby young is what i've always wanted. i just didn't expect certain things, like to be doing this by myself and i thought my friends would be more support.

my friends are supportive in a sense as they encourage me to keep the baby and are happy for me, but our friendship was largely based on partying together, and doing drugs together, going out a lot, living life in the fast lane. and since finding out i was pregnant, i've obviously stopped all that. i know they still want to go out on weekends but i just wish they took me into consideration more. how hard is it to call me and walk around the mall for a couple hours? or have a coffee or go for lunch. i know they don't have a ton of money to do that stuff, but if you're creative you can make the best out of lack of funds. even cooking dinner together. but the three of them have just been doing their own thing and calling me rarely. it's frusterating and i've brought it up but they don't really say much. they've also started lying to me about what they all do together, pretending they aren't doing drugs when they really are. and i just don't think i should have people like that around my kid once it's born...not because they unwind on weekends but because they seem incapable of doing normal things or being there for me. it isn't easy to make time for friends but seriously, i wish they'd try.

and there's a couple acquantances from the past who i've been meaning to catch up with, and they invite me to hangout a lot. but it's hard to make new friends in the situation i'm in. because a lot of people get to know each other at a party or over drinks, you know? and i don't travel in those circles anymore.

i dunno i'm just so frusterated. i could really use a best friend or boyfriend to kill time with right now and i just don't have that. i really want to get out there and meet other pregnant teens or single mom's, but that isn't easy either.

help or advice please! i'm tired of feelin this way

 

[Burchy314]

I know exactly how you feel. I actually have been getting closer with my church friends and I am very thankful to be having them around even though I only see them on tuesdays for youth group. Other then that I only have one friend who trys to hang out with me atleast once a week. I don't really have any ways to help but if you ever just want to talk during the day message me.

 

[Desi's_lost]

Internet! That's all I can say. I've always had a hard time sort of getting out of the house and doing things with friends, but since being pregnant, the internet as been my best friend. That and lately i've been cooking a lot. Cooking keeps you really busy and you get yummy food in the end, so double plus lol.

 

[18singlemom2b]

thanks to both of you guys for responding

a lot of my church friends have been reaching out to me as well, oddly enough

 

[Burchy314]

yeah I think it is funny how ever since I got pregnant I have gotten really close with my church friends and they are always reaching out to me and all my old friends never even try and contact me except one girl.

 

[_laura]

I'm lucky that I've had my best mates for many years so they have been really supportive. Work mates aswell because a lot of them have been in the same situation as me. Though many 'friends' haven't spoken to me since they found out and many have bitched about me loads aswell.

 

[proudmomm2be]

I completely understand where your coming from... im almost in the exact same situation... the only thing thats different is i have my boyfriend/the FOB. But yea its really hard... i used to have so many plans and was never alone... but since i got pregnant that all changed. i had to quit school, so i didnt see my school friends much, i had to quit partying so i never got to see the usual ppl on the weekends, then i lost my so called "close friends" as well bc we simply didnt have anything in common or they were just to busy getting high. it rlly sucks not being able to have a social life... but anyways sorry thts so long i just wanted to let you no your not alone hunn. I understand completely. If you ever need anyone feel free to message me. (

-Ashley

 

[18singlemom2b]

thanks everyone for replying, i knew i wasn't alone in my feelings, just needed a reminder that others understood i hope i find a friend at my young adult prenatal class. fingers crossed

 

[Brionybaby]

I know exactly how you feel too hun, i've stopped speaking to quite a few 'friends' because of the way they are, always on drugs and being selfish etc.. One friend even sat there with a joint and smoked it right next to me when i went round knowing i'm pregnant and can harm scarlett! So i thought enough was enough and i don't reply to her texts anymore because shes obviously not a good enough friend to get off her ass and smoke outside!
I'm here if u wanna message/facebook/text
An good luck with your antenatal classes, i start an 8 week course on tuesday so hope i meet people there too x

 

[JaneyRetro]

Know just how you feel. Only i gave up on pretty much all of my friends before i even fell pregnant. I got sick of their lies, alcohol, drugs, bitching and gossip gossip gossip. But im really glad i sorted my self out just in time for baby Luckily have my OH to keep me sane, or i dont know where i'd be. These girls clearly aren't real friends and you clearly deserve so much better!

 

[18singlemom2b]

omg scarlett? i love that name. not to bother you but that's one of the top choices i have if mines a girl. great minds think alike i'm a bit embaressed of the people i used to hangout with but i can't change who i was before. and i don't necessarily even care that they still do drugs and what not, i just wish they weren't so selfish about it. and still made time for normal things. because it's not my fault i have to change and they aren't making it easier on me!

I know exactly how you feel too hun, i've stopped speaking to quite a few 'friends' because of the way they are, always on drugs and being selfish etc.. One friend even sat there with a joint and smoked it right next to me when i went round knowing i'm pregnant and can harm scarlett! So i thought enough was enough and i don't reply to her texts anymore because shes obviously not a good enough friend to get off her ass and smoke outside!
I'm here if u wanna message/facebook/text
An good luck with your antenatal classes, i start an 8 week course on tuesday so hope i meet people there too x

 

[Brionybaby]

My mum was going to call my little brother scarlett if he was a girl and i've loved it ever since
If they cant be bothered to make the effort to do something easy like shopping, coffee etc with you then there not worth bothering with hun.. Ive definately learnt this even though tbh i could really do with the friends atm as i seem abit of a loner compared to before i was pregnant.
x

 

[BrEeZeY]

i know how u feel, i lost alot of friends when i got pregnant and then when i met OH alot of them got mad cause i had jst got my own apartment and i used to let ppl hangout there alll the time but when OH and i started dating he moved in right away and treid to make a proper family life for Aiden and we stopped goin out all nite and letting ppl stay over all the time.... then when i asked them to hangout durring the day they would say no cause they were sleeping off a hangover...


i jst got married and made the mistake of picking my bridesmaids too soon and they were my only friends but they got pissy when i didnt do the things they wanted and never helped out... we all kinda had a falling out....

any time i make plans with any other teen moms around here they cancel on me =(


u can text me or message me on facebook anytime

 

[18singlemom2b]

i know how u feel, i lost alot of friends when i got pregnant and then when i met OH alot of them got mad cause i had jst got my own apartment and i used to let ppl hangout there alll the time but when OH and i started dating he moved in right away and treid to make a proper family life for Aiden and we stopped goin out all nite and letting ppl stay over all the time.... then when i asked them to hangout durring the day they would say no cause they were sleeping off a hangover...


i jst got married and made the mistake of picking my bridesmaids too soon and they were my only friends but they got pissy when i didnt do the things they wanted and never helped out... we all kinda had a falling out....

any time i make plans with any other teen moms around here they cancel on me =(


u can text me or message me on facebook anytime

omgosh, im so glad you wrote that. not because it's sad but because i can totally relate. grr. i've been living on my own almost 2 years, since i was barely 17 and i was always going to school and working fulltime but i still had people over constantly drinking..doing other naughty things haha etc. and at that time my phone wouldnt stop ringing. FOB used to always warn me, along with my parents and others, about making sure i wasn't being used by these people and that they were true friends. i always ignored it though because, i mean, when you're living a life like that you just don't want to hear it. you just want to have fun.

i have that same problem too, i'm currently working during the day and i get tired at night from being pregnant and just from having to do adult things, cleaning laundry cooking etc. i just wish i had friends with real priorities, sure i don't mind if they still do their own thing on weekends, but god it would be nice to grocery shop with someone, have coffee with someone, go for a walk. anything normal! my friends from before are all busy sleeping during the day and just screwing around and by the time they have time for me, it's past my bed time haha.

there's a group of 3 teen moms who i used to go to high school with and i've been trying to get closer with them over facebook and texting and all that. one girl has been helpful but she's busy and already had her own friends and the other girls just don't seem to want to let me into their clique. it really sucks.

glad we met though and that we're fb friends now

 

[BrEeZeY]

^^ =) me too!!

 

[mumof3girls]

I was 18 when i fell pregnant with my first child and nearly all my friends left me and the ones that stayed behind and supported me are still my friends nearly 19 years later, as you change, your life changes, the friends you have will represent your life at the time, and as you change more they will also change, but you will always have 1 or 2 people in your life who will be there no matter what good luck hun u can be a wonderful mum to your child, my eldest daughter is going to be 18 in 3 days and i think i did an amazing job with her, she is an awesome young women, and one day you will look at your daughter and be stunned at how quickly they grow, just be proud of who you are good luck

 

[proud_mum]

in my personal life i'm having a really hard time right now. i wouldn't change my pregnancy for the world, having a baby young is what i've always wanted. i just didn't expect certain things, like to be doing this by myself and i thought my friends would be more support.

my friends are supportive in a sense as they encourage me to keep the baby and are happy for me, but our friendship was largely based on partying together, and doing drugs together, going out a lot, living life in the fast lane. and since finding out i was pregnant, i've obviously stopped all that. i know they still want to go out on weekends but i just wish they took me into consideration more. how hard is it to call me and walk around the mall for a couple hours? or have a coffee or go for lunch. i know they don't have a ton of money to do that stuff, but if you're creative you can make the best out of lack of funds. even cooking dinner together. but the three of them have just been doing their own thing and calling me rarely. it's frusterating and i've brought it up but they don't really say much. they've also started lying to me about what they all do together, pretending they aren't doing drugs when they really are. and i just don't think i should have people like that around my kid once it's born...not because they unwind on weekends but because they seem incapable of doing normal things or being there for me. it isn't easy to make time for friends but seriously, i wish they'd try.

and there's a couple acquantances from the past who i've been meaning to catch up with, and they invite me to hangout a lot. but it's hard to make new friends in the situation i'm in. because a lot of people get to know each other at a party or over drinks, you know? and i don't travel in those circles anymore.

i dunno i'm just so frusterated. i could really use a best friend or boyfriend to kill time with right now and i just don't have that. i really want to get out there and meet other pregnant teens or single mom's, but that isn't easy either.

help or advice please! i'm tired of feelin this way

Hi,
I'm kind of intruding I suppose, i'm not a teenager anymore but I was a teenage mum. I just wanted to say keep your chin up when I was expecting, my friends who i'd known since I was 4 really didnt know what to make of me being pregnant and to be honest we drifted apart as they went off doing teenage things, whilst I was changing nappies etc but now 6 years on they've grown up and we try and see each other as much as we can and they love my son, he's a little friend to them now. When your baby comes along I would really urge you to join playgroups with your baby or mother and baby groups, i know it can be daunting... it scared the shit out of me but I did it and I made some friends who I could go and have coffee etc. I know it may not seem easy now but it will get easier, you've just got to keep your chin up. Like one of the girls replied, there's always the internet aswell. I wish i'd have had this site when I was expecting cos I felt very much alone at times. I really hope you can find the support and friendship you are looking for

x

 

[18singlemom2b]

thanks mumof3girls and proud_mum, that made me feel a lot better

 

[JadeMoon]

I can relate. I lost a lot of friends because now I'm pregnant. Because now I can't party like I used too.

 

[newmommy23]

I talk to more people on BNB then I do in RL....I don't have family or friend support. it sucks