Feeling scared....

[Dhunsberger]

I’m feeling worried about my little guy. He seems behind on some things.....no clapping, giving, waving. He does not bang toys together either ( actually he did for the first time tonight after my husband did it with him about 50 times!)

What made me scared Red was what happened today at the Early Years Center. I sat him down to play with two other babies his age (within a month). They were playing with toy cars and trucks. Pushing them along....picking them up. But with my little guy, he kept crawling over to different ones, knocking them over and spinning the wheels....He does this at home and has never used a toy car correctly. I felt awkward and I think the other moms thought it was weird.

The internet screams this this is a HUGE red flag for autism....so naturally with the lack of some gestures I’m getting scared.

Does anyone else’s little ones play with cars or trucks like this?

He has had a lot of positives....
- he is social and smiles at everyone
- he reaches to be picked up
- he reaches for things he wants
- he says mama and dada. Sometimes in context, but sometimes just babbling.
- he responds to his name most of the time and always if I say ‘Lachlan look at mommy’
- he follows a proximal point and is starting with distal although it’s hit or miss.
- he has excellent receptive language. We can ask him ‘where’s x’ for at least 20 different items and he will look in that direction
- he follows several commands
- he initiates peekaboo. Also if I hide and call his name, he’ll come find me (unless something catches his eye on the way)
- he can throw a ball and will roll it back and forth with us. He will reach out his hands in anticipation of getting the ball.
- he has good eye contact.
- he shows us objects by holding it up. If we ask what he has he will look at it and back to us.
- he is very attached to me and will often cry if I leave.
- he is crying when we put him down for naps and bedtime, so I think he is going through separation anxiety.
- he babbles a lot. People often comment how chatty he is.

When i I type this out, I see that he can do a lot and it makes me feel better.

But it then I think about the gesturing, inappropriate play with certain toys (he seems to throw everything, plays with lid on shape sorter...), not to mention what every milestone list says he HAS to be doing by 12 months and I get scared.

Am am I being ridiculous and expecting too much? Everyone else thinks he’s normal. What’s wrong with me?

Here is a video of him today following an instruction:

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Your baby is too young to be diagnosed with autism. At least here anyway unless they are non verbal. My dd2 wasnt diagnosed until last year after dealing with her symptoms since age 3. Everyone wrote it off.

If you think your child is behind, call the ped and ask for an eval for everything.

Milestones are a guideline, not a guarantee nor a race.

 

[_Meep_]

I really think he sounds fine. Loads of young babies display behaviours that would be autistic traits in an older child, but which are actually typical behaviours for a smaller child. Your list of social behaviours and things he DOES do well far outweighs the list of things you are worried about.

According to my mum, my younger brother was obsessed with spinning the wheels on cars when he was little, at least until he was 2/3. I think he was just really interested in how things worked as he loved taking things apart and putting them back together. He did have some odd attachments, such as to a set of screwdrivers my dad had. He also had a few odd phobias and obsessions, and did strange things like making noises like a fan lol (with disturbing accuracy - he has perfect pitch, which means he can sing/identify any note or sound just from memory!). These days, I suppose all these things would be red flags for an ASD, but really, he's fine. He was always a little quirky and socially awkward, but seemed to grow into himself by his late teens and is now (at 29) an extremely successful musician, very popular, is married, happy etc. As a young child, had anyone worried about it, I reckon he could probably have received a diagnosis, but now you'd find nothing on him. It's just the way he was/is. Alongside his odd behaviours as a little boy, he also had plenty of 'typical' behaviours and completely ordinary development in all basic areas.

Therein lies the difference, I think, between someone who has an identifiable disorder and someone who maybe has a few quirks but lives a perfectly normal and enriched life.

What I mean is, you're seeing a lot of good social development and 'typical' behaviour in your son. At this very young age, with autism, I think they would be more worried about an absence of 'normal' behaviours (which you certainly don't need to worry about) than the presence of a couple of behaviours that would be a red flag in an older child.

 

[_Meep_]

P.S. I do understand the anxiety. I 'diagnosed' my first daughter with about a hundred different conditions before she was 1, none of which she has turned out to have.

P.P.S. My second daughter took forever to consistently wave, clap, etc. She didn't point properly until she was over 12 months old. Perfectly normal 2 year old child now - chatty, sweet, loving, sociable ... when she isn't having a tantrum.

 

[Bellaloo12]

I really wouldn't worry at all. Try not to compare your lo to other lo’s i have had 5 children each of them have done things that the others haven't all done things at different times etc. My dd is 14months and she cant even crawl and she has only said mamma 1 time. If he interacts with you and others and gives good eye contact etc i wouldn't worry.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Babies develop at different rates. Your baby is too young to be diagnosed with autism yet and sounds fine. My babies displayed behaviours that could be classed as autistic traits, but they just turned out to be quirks. Try not to worry