Feeling SO defeated ;(

[babyvaughan]

I just don't know what to think anymore..

I have been off birth control for 3.5 years

The first year we just were having fun not really trying
but DEF not preventing.

These last two we have given it our ALL,
I feel broken.

November I had HSG done my tubes are open,
they found a growth in my uterus they thought was
a polyp, turns out to be unknown really what it was but
they cut it out during my surgery. (hysterscopy, dnc, pectocomy)

I thought wow i'm going to pregnant right away surgery was the 6th
I was to ovulate a week-week and half later.

my 2ww was a breeze, period came late then I started to pay attention.

Got faint but pink BFP two nights ago, only today to start cramping super bad and spotting pink/brown. So it must have been a chemical.

I want a baby SO SO bad.. We pray and ask god for our precious baby
but its not our time and its so hard that its not

I feel broken as woman, I have suffered from VERY painful periods for 3 years now and not taken the medication they want me on because I dont want to risk not having a child. So many ultrasounds & tests but nothing..

I'm heart broken!

 

[Rayofhope]

Aww sorry to hear about the chemical I'm relatively new to trying and yet I know how hard it can be when your desperate for your little angel but ill I could say is maybe try the medication they want ya too take for a couple of months and stop trying but don't prevent either you never know the medication might kick things into action, my best friend had been TTC for over a year and like you have it her all down to every detail she quit smoking she quit drinking alcohol and lost weight all to concieve and nothing so her ob put her on meds 1 was progesterone and the other I'm not sure but sure enough everything is back on track for her now an it's looking better for her after just 1 1/2 months I really hope it turns around for you and I wish you all the best and I sprinkle lots and lots of baby dust xx gl & chin up girl you'll get there eventually xxxxx

 

[291]

Sounds like us.

Stopped the pill back in late 2007, 1 child born mid 2009, then nothing since.
HSG clear. Ovulating as I should.

Some times nature can be a bitch. We just have to find a way to defeat her.

 

[babyvaughan]

Rayofhope, the medication is a suppressant. The doc wanted to suppress my ovaries for an entire year to give my body a break from the pain.. I ended up switching doctors who performed the HSG because she thought maybe endo was scarring my tubes, but it wasn't.

My progesterone is getting checked in 2 weeks, If its off then that could be an answering but I know it wont be I get positive opk's and get ovulation pain.

I'm going to have my hubby get his sperm checked, they didn't think it was him because of the chemical pg but I think its only fair he makes sure there is no problems on his end!

 

[babyvaughan]

291 sorry for struggle for #2 but be blessed to have your first born..
I just want to be mother SO bad.. I'm young (21) I should not be having
these issues I should be more fertile than I want to be lol.

 

[Rayofhope]

Silly doc :/ yea could jus be prog and you just need a boost. Do you exercise a lot cos I know that can decrease prog I don't notch about Endo myself unfortunately. I hope you find an answer soon chic nothing worse than not knowing fx's for you and dh that all is well xxxx

 

[twiggy56]

I dont have advice or experience of trying for a long time...

But just wanted to offer you a kind word and a

Hope you get your wish this year, my heart feels heavy for you reading your post

 

[Jai Me]

I feel your pain babyvaughan! TTC has been quite a struggle. We've been TTC for 3 years and 3 months. I never would have thought it would've taken this long to get pregnant. I am 30, DH: 35, I will be 31, Feb. 2014. I wish I would've started trying earlier. I just assumed as soon as I stopped my BCP I would get pregnant. I started seeing a RE October 2013, everything on my end has been good. My DH has had two SA's that came back with low morph. 2%
RE wants him to see a specialist, we have yet to make that appointment just yet.
You are not alone in this journey. I know what you mean when you say you feel broken. I feel like less of a women month after month. But at the same time, try to pick myself back up and keep going. I know it will happen someday, some how. Best of Luck to you! Don't give up!
Your little one is waiting to meet you too! Happy New Year!!!

 

[babyvaughan]

Thanks ladies! I had my colon entirely removed at 16 so im thinkig its linked to those horribe surgerys i had done! I will never give up trying but im so confused!! DH is gettkng SA hopefully in a week! thanks for all your kind words!

 

[Rayofhope]

Rayofhope, the medication is a suppressant. The doc wanted to suppress my ovaries for an entire year to give my body a break from the pain.. I ended up switching doctors who performed the HSG because she thought maybe endo was scarring my tubes, but it wasn't.

My progesterone is getting checked in 2 weeks, If its off then that could be an answering but I know it wont be I get positive opk's and get ovulation pain.

I'm going to have my hubby get his sperm checked, they didn't think it was him because of the chemical pg but I think its only fair he makes sure there is no problems on his end!

hey miss how ya getting on? have you been to the docs yet with dh? AF got me like a slap in the face this am in agony kinda wondering if its a chemical because its different to usual AF but couldn be sure fx's for you tho that everything starts lookin up soon xxx

 

[babyvaughan]

Thanks, DH is waiting on his new medical card to come but we decided to get him Sperm Boost vitamins from Fertileaid.com they had some awesome reviews. Doc doesn't believe its him but it can't hurt, can only help!

I also bought a basal thermometer for that sight! Going to trying temping!
On the 20th I'm going to get my Progesterone tested for the first time, I did
have it done in Nov but the person who drew my blood forgot that one out of the
5 tests I had done so I'm redoing it!

I'm trying to not be down or stress it but with my sister in-law due on March 18th all I can think about is how i'd love to be pregnant so when I hold my nephew for the first time its all warm feelings and not an ounce of emptiness!

 

[babyvaughan]

Oh and I even decided to throwing her a babyshower!!

also RAYOFHOPE, AF is always so hard but how I get through it is I think of what I'm going to do for the next month, like I thought hmm maybe i'll make healthy smoothies, or I pin nursery stuff I just try to stay positive through the week of reminder that I'm NOT pregnant lol