feeling sorry for myself (this could be long)

[mummaofthree]

starting to feel like ill never meet anyone... never have a stable family with mum and dad and kids like i always dreamed of.

i met harry and ellas dad when i was 15.. it was full blown head over heels, arse over tit, school girl crush, major infactuation love with a capital L L.O.V.E luurrvvveee... in every sense of the word.

we were together 6 and a half years.... we had 2 beautiful children... we had some amazingly good times but we also had some amazingly bad times... my prince charming turned into a monster, me and the children ended up living in a domestic violence refuge and countless court appearances and meetings with social services and god knows who else followed. infact ive often described the aftermath as worse than the violence and mental abuse... but whatever, i can def live without the abuse!

so after all that i met olly.... we were never together properly.. we were seeing each other for about 4 months when he got offered a job in spain. well he woulda been stupid not to take it... so despite my heartache off he went and that was the end of that... sort of.... we spoke daily for hours and hours..... every break from work... every time he woke up.. before he went to sleep.... i missed him.....

anyway.. we later discovered that i was pregnant... over 20 weeks pregnant! we had been apart so long and then we were gunna be parents... n he lived there n i lived here with harry n ella... urgh it was such a mess.

we spoke endlessly on the phone, he flew over here for a week, i flew over there for a week..... things seemed to be going ok. positive.....

he flew back for her birth. home birth, he was right there... scared, bless him. i could sense it. he stayed with us for 3 months. it was confusing for me, because we werent together but to anyone it looked like we were, it felt like we were.....

then he left again... back to spain... 6 months later hes back..... he doesnt live near us... an hour away but he sees lola every other week, when his parents do.

but im struggling. i thought when i broke up with john that noone would want a young mum of 2..... body ruined by childbirth.... plenty of girls better with more going for them... freedom being one thing i just dont have..... but now..... im 23... i have 3 children under the age of 5.... i work all the hours of the day... i only get 1 night off a months and im lonely

i dont think ill ever meet someone..... i just feel like this is it... and this is how its gunna be for years.......

sorry... just feeling sorry for myself.... x

 

[whoops]

Oh hun, I don't know what to say.

But you never know what the future will bring - you're only 23 and have your whole life ahead of you. Things can change so quickly.

 

[Rhio92]

hun xxx
I think we all get those feelings sometimes x

 

[Strawberrymum]

Maybe you should try looking at it like. Some amazing man will come along one day and not only will he get to be a part of my life but a part of my children's life's as well. He's going to be the lucky one.

I do it all the time I sooo want a man sometimes just so I can have a sibling for my daughter. I wanted my kids close in age so they had each other and my daughters 17 months now and I'm no where near finding someone. I'm sad that my daughter might not get a sibling for awhile anyway.

But I just keep telling myself everything happens for a reason

 

[DaisyDoodles]

It'll happen! Like Strawberrymum, I desperately wanted to meet somebody so I could have a sibling for my DS, but it simply didn't happen, it was just me and him for 11 years!

I finally met my lovely DH when I really wasn't looking and I couldn't have hoped for a more perfect partner or stepfather to my son.... we're now about to have our first child together with a 16 year gap between our LO and my son but I wouldn't change it for the world.... the right man is worth waiting for and in the meantime you get the love and attention of your kids all to yourself!! - I have to admit that I'm a little scared this time around wondering how I'm going to cope with sharing LO rather than going it alone!

 

[lilyd]

I don't usually post in here so excuse me for crashing...

A male friend of mine has just married a lady who has 3 children. When they met, the children were 2, 4 & 6, they married 18 months later & are incredibly happy.

It does happen!

 

[bobblebot]

it does happen hun...wen i was 35 i had four kids aged 10-14 and i met a gorgeaus guy 8 years younger and we married and had a son whose now 3.....unfortunately mr nice turned into mr cheater/liar but i know he did really love me but his cultural upbringing is very different to mine and we realised the way he expects to live i very different to mine. He comes from a polygamous society and even for his family he refused to change!

But sincethen i have dated some nice and not sonice men who haven't been put off by my 5 kids....i'm 40 now and enjoying being single, doing my own thing and would prefer to have a 'boyfriend' for a long time nowco believe me marriage aint all its cracked up to be....but i do believe love will come along

 

[Kacie]

I have a friend who was 24 with 4 kids when she got together with her, now husband.. He took all the children on and they now have a 5th child as well and planning the 6th! They are very happy.

I went on a few free dating sites..not really to meet someone but more to chat to men and gain some confidence. I signed up to one site and thought that i'd have a look round but, after that day, I'd stop looking on these sites and just focus on DD and me for awhile... I met a guy on there straight away and started talking.. we've been together about 5 months now.. he is a bit unsure of how to be around DD (as he is terrified of kids lol) but it hasn't put him off and he's making the effort which is great. Although I will say that I still want DD all for myself and don't really want to have to share her lol!


There are some lovely guys out there.

 

[TiredNurse27]

You hear about these great men who take on other peoples children all the time. Just cos we all ended up with losers in the past doesn't mean you always will.

Love is love. Imagine yourself meeting someone with 3 kids, if you loved them you'd be with them in spite of this and I think the same goes to men.

I have it in mind that it'll be easier to find these men as I get older, but then I could be wrong.

 

[teal]

xx

 

[mummaofthree]

thankyou ladies.... x

just lonely eh - its only just hit me now that ollys back i spose its because i remember how good things were with us before he got that job in spain... and now hes back.... sad times... x

 

[Baby France]

When my mum met my step dad, she was in her mid-thirties with two failed marriages behind her and 5 kids.

That nearly 20 years ago now and they're still together and happy! They've only lived together for about 10 years as my mum got to a point she was so concerned about meeting someone else.

I'm pretty sure that at some point my mum thought she'd never meet anyone...but she had us 5 to keep her busy and on a rare night out she met him and has never looked back!

Chin up and keep smiling x