Fiancée's family doesnt want us to have a baby :'(

[BeesBella]

Well I got a BFP at 10dpo and then at 18dpo (with AF 4 days late) I started bleeding (light at first then like a normal period) and a blood test confirmed I was no longer pregnant, not sure if that counts as a miscarriage or a chemical to be honest.
Yea we are starting to try again straight away because we both feel emotionally ready and because the pregnancy wasn't very far along I didn't need time to heal physically. We are using the CBFM for the first time this cycle so that will be interesting, what kinda things are you using or are you just going natural ?
What are you studying at uni ? I'm doing Biomedical Sciences but am going to change and start Midwifery in Feb 2012 if I am not pregnant by then. Are you in the UK or USA ?

 

[littleprinces]

hiya, im not sure either what that is, I had a miscarriage in January and that really hurt, this time I didnt want to take a test, I would rather know by AF than a test. But I'm sure it was one day late and I wasn't as upset and hurt as I was in Jan, when the bleeding started I screamed the house down, I was so upset and the nurses/doctors at the hospital werent very nice about it. One said 'oh well, try again' they sent me for a pregnancy test to be sure and it came back negative and i cried again the nurse said 'dont worry im sure your period will come soon' I went mental, she assumed that because I was young that I didn't want a baby :'( which hurt so much.

Im in good 'ol wales, what about you? Your course choices sound interesting Ill add you as a buddy x

 

[BeesBella]

I know exactly what you mean about the doctors and nurses, just because I am young they don't care and one nurse actually asked me if the pregnancy was planned or not !!! And I look younger than I am which doesn't help.
I am in Norfolk/Suffolk area (kinda on the border of both).

 

[littleprinces]

same, i get asked for ID for everything, but it hurts so much, the miscarriage changed me, I'm so much stronger now, mentally that is and as much as it hurts i think it happened for a reason, mainly that I needed to toughen up but I pray i wouldnt wish that pain on anyone. When women tell me they MC'd I usually cry, I love your pic, its so cute, I want a little bumble bee too!! I have a red baby grow that I brought a while back, cant wait to have a baby to wear it xx

 

[BH040]

All inlaws or future in laws are a pain!!!! I hate my future mother in law! She always thinks she has the right to stick her nose in our busniess and come into our house when we are not home and rearrange things. We have not told her that we are ttc either because she probably would get angry even though it is absolutely none of her business!!! I haven't even told my parents or any of my friends. I figure that this is our choice, it's our life and I don't want anyone making me upset if they would decide to disapprove. I wouldn't tell them just like you said!
Just remember, you are marrying your fiance not his family. I don't care what other people say! I am also on a mission to move to a different city to get of her crazy a$$!
Good luck with everything.

 

[littleprinces]

we havent told the parents either, we are keeping it secret until we are 8-12 weeks pregnant. At least them when we tell them we can have a scan to show them-they can't be angry once they see their grandchild (i hope!) i understand their worry as we are only 21 but my fiance is working and im at uni, so money isnt a problem. We have discussed it and we are ready and it is a very good point about marrying the fiance not the family. My future mother in law is ok, we get on ok but i'm not 100% sure she likes me, i think she thinks i took her little boy away which she has a right to feel, when my kids move away and get engaged im sure ill the same!!

Babydust to you!! xx

 

[katertots]

I have a similar issue. The only thing I know to tell you is to step back from them for a while. I know that sucks bc we all want to see the people we love, but when they start hurting us, we have to step back and do without for a while. I try not to see my mil alot bc everytime we go over there she makes wise cracks thinking she knows everything and on FB she never answered my comments nicely, its always just a yes or no, but my SIL she is super nice to bc she is an ordained minister. Dont get me wrong I love my SIL very much, shes such a good person. It irriates me that I dont get the same respect. On my husbands last birthday she asked me what cake to make him and I said red velvet with cream cheese, and she made peanut butter cake ( I hate peanut butter and she knows that, she did this at our wedding too). Then that same night she was telling us how she was mentoring a couple at our church and how the brides mother always wished she would have married my husband. After that she proceeded to force me to watch a church service on DVD from Christmas, I was already really mad at her. Not to mention the entire thing was in German bc they thought that was unique thing to do (obv we dont live overseas), kept asking me if I loved the service. I finally got up half way through and said No I dont like it, its actually really bad. I cant understand a word they are saying. After that we left. She does this crap to me all the time, I just take a step back and stay away.

 

[katertots]

OH and at our wedding she has a HUGE HUGE frown on her face and made my SIL hold her hand the entire time like a baby. At that point my SIL was not even married into the family yet.

I am not a bad person, I am a decent, honest person. I dont understand what her problem is, Oh I guess its bc im not a bible beater.

 

[littleprinces]

sorry to hear that, but you are right taking a step back is the right thing to do. I alwasys dreamed that I would get on with the in-laws and to start with we did. Future MIL has made it clear that she isnt keen on my family which hurts so much, I think she doesn't want her son to marry into my family because I have a sister with mental disabilities and she doesn't want grandkids with that, totally understandable but I will be doing everything I can to make sure that doesnt happen. I love my sister and I admire what my parents do for her but I couldn't do it.

I just want everyone to get along and be happy, we are starting to plan a wedding and I want both families to be involved but I can see a few arguments arising... I hope you get everything sorted with your OH's family, theres nothing worse :'(. Babydust to you xxxx

 

[katertots]

Thanks. I just ignore her. It works just fine for me. If she wants to be judgmental thats her problem not mine.

If i were you I would keep on trucking and dont look back. Let the cards fall where they may. If they want to try and control you, dont let it. Do your own thing

 

[bunni84]

People always stare at me in disbelief when i say my in laws are amazing...

They never interfered in our lives and i visited them 4 times in 1 year (they live in dubai)

i actually hate in laws who interfere and look down on you...it makes me wanna scream at them and say ffs they are together deal with it...be nice...or dont say anything at all - spiteful people are disgusting

 

[sequeena]

Who cares what they're ready for, they're not the one trying to start a family!! Don't let them get to you, you do what's best for you and your OH!

 

[MarcsMrs]

Girls....Im so glad for this thread!!!

My Mother-in-law is the thorn in my side!!! The day we got engaged & her son rang her, her first question was "how much money did you waste on the ring?" - Like WTF....cant you be excited for your ONLY son!
We then drove over 200miles home to our families to celebrate with them & went to her house first....she barely spoke to me, didnt congratulate us or anything...i left in tear!

Then we set a date for the wedding & she went metal, saying we werent giving HER enough time!! FOR WHAT?? In the run up to the wedding she HATED everything we chose or wanted!
The day of the wedding she said "I wouldnt have choosen that dress" - GRRRRRRR My mother told her then that if she had nothing nice to say she was to keep her mouth shut!!

Now everytime DH talks to her, she says "I hope you arent trying for a baby, I dont want to be a Grandmother!" My poor DH.....hes so fed up with her that he hasnt gone home to see her in over 4 months!! She seems to HATE me & any decisions we make as a couple! She annoys me so bad!

But TBH.....she has now burned her bridges....DH & I are so happy together & we will have a wonderful family, that she wont get to see much of....she made her bed & she may lie in it!

 

[littleprinces]

awww im sorry to hear that, nothing worse than interferring in-laws I'll bet that when you have a baby she will change her mind and hopefully realise how stupid she is being for excluding you, My OH's parent said they didnt want to be a grandparent yet, I just thought well you will be in for a shock soon! I dont understand how people can say they arent ready!? There are people out there that never get the blessing of granchildren so why do they complain when they have the chance, I really don't understand that. My Grandmother was really annoyed when we got engaged even though she has been hinting at us for years to get engaged when we finally do she throws a hissy fit, called me all sorts of things, thankfully she has calmed down now but I give up trying to make her proud because nothing I do is right in her eyes, so we are just going to focus on having a baby and not caring what anyone else thinks xx