Finally got my BFP... now very sad and confused =(

[AllIWant]

Hey guys

I've just tonight got my BFP, and my oh my was it a strong positive. Pretty much turned darker than the control line while I was still peeing on the stick, with very watered down last-thing-at-night-before-bed wees.

Here's the thing. DH and I have tried for the last 18 months, with 7 failed rounds of clomid. I have extremely irregular periods (but not PCO) so we were told our next step was to try IVF. I'm 26 and DH is 29. DH has always dreamed of owning his own business - he's had a little side project for a few years but we made the decision to put IVF off by 12 months at least, and he could focus on his business. We made that decision about three months ago. Yesterday was his last day of work at his "day job", meaning I am now the breadwinner. We've just taken out a business loan secured against our house so that he can grow his business. Now tonight I've found out I'm pregnant.

I feel so horrible saying this to all you lovely ladies that have tried for so long, but I'm just terrified right now. The timing feels all wrong and I just don't know what to do. I feel like there's so much pressure on me already. Don't get me wrong, I completely want DH to follow his dreams, but sitting here right now I just do not know how on earth we'll be able to afford to do all that.

This should be the happiest day of my life and instead I just feel numb and scared.

Help?

 

[Bex84]

even if you really want a baby a bfp can be scary. It is when you really realise the responsibility but as soon as you feel your baby move, as soon as you see that first scan, when you hold them for the first time you fall in love. It is scary, its a big change and I am sure most people will tell you there will never be that perfect time. You have had a big change with your husbands business so it must be even more scary. Just remember you have 9 months to work everything out and you can budget, babies don't have to be expensive, you can buy practically new things second hand for very cheap. My friends who all got expensive push chairs all have been after changing theirs to one like I got my lo which was £100 as they prefer it. Hope your ok

 

[mrspeanut]

You are probably feeling a bit shocked and having a baby will change your lives, no doubt about it. I am sure in a few days/weeks you'll get used to the idea of managing a new business and a baby and start making plans for the future. I don't think there is ever a "perfect" time to have a child, there will always be something else going on or a little worry, but I'm sure you'll be able to make it perfect. Our situation is that we will need to put 3 children into full time childcare so we can work and that we are currently trying to sell our old house and buy a new one whilst currently renting to be closer to work!! It's crazy, and I don't know yet how we'll do it, but I've learned from having my other two that there is always a way to make things work. Take a deep breath and have faith in yourselves. This is the start of an amazing journey! Good luck!

 

[MgreenM]

Hey guys

I've just tonight got my BFP, and my oh my was it a strong positive. Pretty much turned darker than the control line while I was still peeing on the stick, with very watered down last-thing-at-night-before-bed wees.

Here's the thing. DH and I have tried for the last 18 months, with 7 failed rounds of clomid. I have extremely irregular periods (but not PCO) so we were told our next step was to try IVF. I'm 26 and DH is 29. DH has always dreamed of owning his own business - he's had a little side project for a few years but we made the decision to put IVF off by 12 months at least, and he could focus on his business. We made that decision about three months ago. Yesterday was his last day of work at his "day job", meaning I am now the breadwinner. We've just taken out a business loan secured against our house so that he can grow his business. Now tonight I've found out I'm pregnant.

I feel so horrible saying this to all you lovely ladies that have tried for so long, but I'm just terrified right now. The timing feels all wrong and I just don't know what to do. I feel like there's so much pressure on me already. Don't get me wrong, I completely want DH to follow his dreams, but sitting here right now I just do not know how on earth we'll be able to afford to do all that.

This should be the happiest day of my life and instead I just feel numb and scared.

Help?

I totally understand how you are feeling! I got my BFP 2 days ago and I am starting a new job on Feb. 24th! It's all so overwhelming! I too, have mixed feelings because the timing just sucks...and what's worse is that I have to figure out when to tell the new employer...there is a 90 day probationary period (I would have that no matter where I go).

Also, thank you to the other posters, it is making me feel a little better. I know I just have to be patient and that everything will work out. This is baby #1 so I don't even really know what to expect and that makes things a bit scarier...I am reading to be informed, but making sure I don't get myself too worked up at the same time. I find that having the knowledge is helpful.

 

[xxambzxx]

Hi everybody im new to this site and irs brill!! Congrats on ur positive opk! I was just wondering how u upload pics on here as I also got my pos opk this morning yayyyy.... was looking to see if anybody could take a look at it plz?? Xx

 

[RaspberryK]

I think many of us have had this. Well everything looked rosy for us financially til ds was 8 months. Then it all went tits up.
We are fine, we managed. And so will you xx

 

[Julia35]

Try to take yourself mentally back to how you felt after each failed clomid cycle. You've been ttc for 18 months. Don't let anything spoil this moment. You will find a way to make ends meet. This is the most precious gift that you have been wanting. To consider IVF speaks volumes of your desire to parent. You have been dealt a huge break. Try to push away the scary financial stuff. It will be fine Hun. This is one moment in time and life is so incredibly fragile. We were in a bind when I conceived in 2/2012, and I cried even though we had been ttc for almost a year. It just felt so financially overwhelming to me. We ended up losing that baby, and it took us almost 2 more years to get where we are now. Life is a gift...no matter what. I wish you the absolute best outcome, and peace of mind that all things will work out. Hugs!

 

[minties]

Big hugs. Congratulations, even though it's bad timing and you are in shock.

Thomas was a baby who announced himself under not ideal circumstances also. We'd out TTC on hold and gone to study in the IT field (both of us, so we were very poor students!). I got my BFP the day before the first lot of exams.

Neither of us found a job after we finished studying. It was so stressful. Then we found out we owed someone $16,000. Had to borrow money and max out our credit card.

We muddled through somehow. I don't know how, exactly, it seems a blur now, but things are great! We've moved towns, OH has a good job and we are saving for a house. At the time it was horrible, but Thomas coming along made things better rather than worse.

Not sure what the point of my story is, but I sympathise with you. Things will be ok!