finding everything so difficult

[snoopchick82]

So the first few weeks after Savannah was born i was happy and dealing with things now im finding it all hard.
She never seems happy no matter what i do and im finding it hard being on my own when my partner at work he works shifts so one week he works 6am-2pm and another week 2pm-10pm..
I find him on his late shift so hard she doesnt sleep well in the afternoon she just wont settle anymore then she is a nightmare from 6 till 7;30 when she has her bath then she has her last bottle and go to bed.
I find myself crying alot and i feel lke a single mum OH is now working overtime at the weekends which im finding hard too.
Just need some positive vibes lol xx

 

[LPF]

My husband is a teacher and worked late doing parents evening - I was in tears by the time he was home....I could not do this on my own so I think single mums are amazing! Big hugs - this is the hardest job there is x x x

 

[ShanandBoc]

aw hun, do u have family and friends u can talk to or who can give u a break, it may be just what u need. She may be picking up on your vibes too which is making her unsettled.

Must be real hard with your OH working so much....dont be too hard on yourself, all us mums have bad days and find it difficult at times (hugs)

Do u have a bedtime routine for your LO, at the same time every night??

 

[snoopchick82]

Yeah she been having a bath at 7:30pm every nite for 3 weeks now and her last bottle at 8 she in bed by 9 and sleeps through to 5...

Im not close to any of my family and most of my friends dropped me when i fell pregnant.

Some nites i can handle it really well but last nite i collasped crying i didnt know what was wrong with her i tried everything but she cried for 2 hours non stop to the point her cry became croaky i tried everything to calm her down.
I keep thinking am i doing something wrong or does she just hate me... she is perfect when her daddy is here..

sorry just feeling abit low at the moment and thanks for ur repiles xx

 

[ShanandBoc]

Like i said she may be picking up on your stress (its not your fault) cause u said shes better when her Daddy is around - possibly because your more relaxed when he is there.

Have you spoken to him about how ur feeling??

How about baby / mother groups in your area so u can meet others with little babies?? xxx

 

[snoopchick82]

I keep meaning to join baby and mother groups but im so shy i will soon... Ive tried talking to him but he just says he needs to work to pay for things i understand that but having one weekend off in a month wont hurt to do family things....
I try not to cry but it upsets me when i cant calm her down...
I text OH when he on earlies saying she just wont settle and stop crying but by the time he comes home she is asleep and he says "there is nothing wrong with her ur lying" he is joking but it gets to me sorry just need to write it down one of those pointless threads lol xx

 

[ShanandBoc]

aww hunni (hugs)

Men!! haha. At least he is trying to work hard for his family, but he should take a break and give u a break!! Maybe try talking to him some more, or show him this thread, your feelings are valid and important xxx

 

[anna matronic]

Does she have a dummy? Saved my sanity And as a single mum I don't have anyone and my family live 2 hours away, you get used to it hun and become more confident, does she like being swaddled? Evan hates it but when he's unsettled or overtired wrapping him tight in his blanket and having a tight cuddle sends him off

I can't recommend mum and baby groups enough, I go to at least 3 things a week plus we go for walks or to supermarket on top. Don't put it off just do it!! Does your library have a Rhymetime? You don't have to talk to other mums if you don't want to, you just sit there with lo on your lap singing nursery rhymes xx

 

[snoopchick82]

Yeah she has a dummy but for the last 2 weeks she wont take it im now looking online for baby groups round my area thanks again guys xx

 

[kissikiss]

a lot of new moms feel this way, I remember after my mom left to go back to the States and my husband went back to work, Elijah would be crying about god knows what, I had no idea what to do, I was lonely, I was missing home, it was awful. I know it sounds trite, but it is SO true....it will get better and it will get easier. I never had PPD, and I had always bonded with my son, but I enjoy him so much more now than when he was really young. Other women have mentioned the 4th trimester (google it if you are wondering) - your baby is still so young and everything still seems scary to her. I'm sure you are a brilliant mom and she doesn't just cry around you xx It will get easier

 

[snoopchick82]

Thanks so much for ur kind words it makes it easier knowing im not doing anything wrong or that its normal lol xx

 

[ShanandBoc]

Savannah is beautiful btw

 

[snoopchick82]

Thank you Elleah is gorgeous love ur profile pic x

 

[kelly29]

hiya hun its normal to feel this way, and what with your o h being at work etc things are hard, i also feel like a single parent not because hubby at work but he doesn't seem to do the whole baby thing well even tho its our 4th he just say's oh she don't want me she only wants you, truth is if he was a bit more womanly i mean you know rocking lo etc she's prob settle for him!! but as it stands she does just cry! he don't listen much either if i ask or say things about lo to do with bf or whatever just thinks i worry too much!! lol men!
well mine anyway lol having a baby is hard work having that lo depending on you 24/7 is hard! i'd def suggest going to mum and baby groups even if you don't wanna be that friendly to start with. when lo is a little older it will be easier to meet diff people cause of nursey etc tho it seems million miles away xx

 

[2016]

I find swaddling is excellent when LO has lost the plot and is crying although fed, clean and well. He really gets cross when I do it (particularly when he is overtired) but after a minute it calms him right down and he often then falls asleep. Have found white noise is also good.
Sometimes though on the worst days when you have "tried everything"....sometimes you need to try nothing at all. I lay LO down in his bed for just a minute or two and go to the loo for a minute or something. That also often calms him down or, when I pick him up again after the minute he is soothed.
As another poster said, sometimes they can feel your stress building up and up and up and this makes them anxious so putting them down safely for 5 minutes so you can get your head together is often the best thing.
I've been going to baby groups in my area and have made loads of friends. Most activities are free and many childrens centres are in walking distance. There are baby yoga, massage, play groups etc. etc.