Hi there,
I'm 26 and my husband and I have been ttc#1 since January 2011 with no luck. We haven't told anybody we were ttc becuase we didn't want the pressure of people always asking 'any news yet?' but now time is ticking along and the worry of not conceiving is getting too bigger burden for the two of us.
Everytime AF turns up I feel devastated and today she turned up 7 days early (CD22) and I have barely struggled out of bed - I keep crying so hard for another month without a little blessing. I know it may seem silly - and I guess that's why I am struggling to even talk to my husband about it but it's getting harder and harder to brush off not conceiving each month that goes by.
We have changed our diet so it is more fertility friendly. I've been doing gentle regular exercise, I've lost a stone to help get to my ideal BMI, and we are both taking fertility suppliments. I am going to see the doctor next week about my fertility in the hope that they will help. My husband went to have his semen analysis done yesterday so we are waiting for those results. I had my hormone tests done last year and all was fine but I would like to have further investigations done now our 19th cycle has failed.
Today I just feel lonely. I just wanted to know that some else feels like I do and that it isn't just me going crazy in an isolated bubble? Sometimes I see people with babies who are clearly not as healthy and who are not in prime 'conceiving' physical condition and I just think 'what's wrong with me? Why can't I have a baby?' I find myself avoiding work gatherings and family and friends because I'm the only one without a little one - or someone else has good news to share. I have 7 friends in the last year who have got pregnant by accident - either via one night stands or people they have known for merely a few weeks, and they are all different shapes and sizes and they have babies. I know it sounds desperately selfish and I hate even thinking it let alone saying it but why do they deserve a baby and we don't? It's getting harder every month that passes. I used to be a rational, normal person who could wait out the ttw, and look at the bright side of AF arriving. Not so much anymore, I'm starting to feel less like myself
Even noone posts back, I think writing this all down has made me feel better I just need a bit of a boost today.
Thank you for reading. Baby dust to all x
I'm 26 and my husband and I have been ttc#1 since January 2011 with no luck. We haven't told anybody we were ttc becuase we didn't want the pressure of people always asking 'any news yet?' but now time is ticking along and the worry of not conceiving is getting too bigger burden for the two of us.
Everytime AF turns up I feel devastated and today she turned up 7 days early (CD22) and I have barely struggled out of bed - I keep crying so hard for another month without a little blessing. I know it may seem silly - and I guess that's why I am struggling to even talk to my husband about it but it's getting harder and harder to brush off not conceiving each month that goes by.
We have changed our diet so it is more fertility friendly. I've been doing gentle regular exercise, I've lost a stone to help get to my ideal BMI, and we are both taking fertility suppliments. I am going to see the doctor next week about my fertility in the hope that they will help. My husband went to have his semen analysis done yesterday so we are waiting for those results. I had my hormone tests done last year and all was fine but I would like to have further investigations done now our 19th cycle has failed.
Today I just feel lonely. I just wanted to know that some else feels like I do and that it isn't just me going crazy in an isolated bubble? Sometimes I see people with babies who are clearly not as healthy and who are not in prime 'conceiving' physical condition and I just think 'what's wrong with me? Why can't I have a baby?' I find myself avoiding work gatherings and family and friends because I'm the only one without a little one - or someone else has good news to share. I have 7 friends in the last year who have got pregnant by accident - either via one night stands or people they have known for merely a few weeks, and they are all different shapes and sizes and they have babies. I know it sounds desperately selfish and I hate even thinking it let alone saying it but why do they deserve a baby and we don't? It's getting harder every month that passes. I used to be a rational, normal person who could wait out the ttw, and look at the bright side of AF arriving. Not so much anymore, I'm starting to feel less like myself
Even noone posts back, I think writing this all down has made me feel better I just need a bit of a boost today.
Thank you for reading. Baby dust to all x
This infertility stuff is awful but I am so thankful for this community of ladies who are so understanding and comforting each month.
