Finding it seriously hard...

[Lynsay]

Hi Ladies

I keep popping in between here and first tri, but I need to talk to people who know how I'm feeling

I fell pregnant in April this year after trying for 11 months, We were so happy! We had bought the house of our dreams, had the bestest neighbours and friends and everything was going perfect...we were due to have our first child in January 2011.

We had an early scan at 6 weeks 4 days and all was fine! I naively thought that no blood = perfect pregnancy and my dating scan came through, it was scheduled for when I was 13 weeks 5 days...As soon as I passed the 12 week mark I presumed all was OK, so we started telling people close to us.

I'd had NO symptoms whatsoever...apart from being KNACKERED!

The scan date arrived and all was not well as we thought...baby had stopped developing at 8 something weeks...We were broken.

I know that there are amazing ladies out there who have experienced 100 times worse, but now I'm pregnant again I'm feeling so depressed and worried.

I've hardly done a full days work since finding out, as I'm always on here checking symptoms and worrying myself to death.

I have hardly any symptoms again, which is making me feel worse. I can't help but think the worse again.

I'm 22 and I should be carefree and not worried at all...We have told no one yet (apart from my boss and a close male colleague at work) - I was gipping and heaving one day (about the closest thing to morning sickness I've had so far) - so it was pretty obvious.

How is everyone else getting on? I'm going to see the Dr tonight to get the ball rolling, but I'm feeling pretty numb about the whole thing...I'm petrified of going through the same thing again, and I'm feeling really alone

 

[debgreasby]

Congrats hunni ... just take it one day at a time

 

[hb1]

Your defense mechanisms have kicked in - after a mc this is normal - and as Debs says it is something to take one day at a time.

Don't give up hope though - the odds are on your side

Hope all is well in there

hx

 

[Lynsay]

Thank you to both of you. I'm feeling quite emotional today because I'm around 6 weeks 4 days - this is the time when I had my early scan with my previous pregnancy.

My Fiance is very positive - he's my rock at the moment, I'm just finding it hard bringing him back to reality (after last time).

I'm sure all will be OK, and I'm excited about the Dr's later on today...so thats something to focus on.

How are you two getting on, and making each day pass quicker?
xx

 

[foxforce]

Hi Lynsay

You have to try be positive, I have had a rough visit to my gp this morning as he won't do any extra blood work to reassure me as I have had some bleeding and spotting . . . . .In my heart of hearts I do believe it was IB but it would be good if they would do my bloods. Anyway I ended up phoning EPU and they said I could go for a early scan at 7 weeks and just try chill and relax as it was all probably IB as was when my af was due.

It is not going to be easy but it don't do our bodies no good stressing so we have to have PMA!

My dh is very supportive and is at home with me now so at least I'm not fretting on my own I have a distraction.....anyway no more fretting or stressing after today until there may really be something to stress over!

You take care

 

[Patience81]

I know what you mean. I'm finding work impossible at the moment. I am also 6.4 today so I guess we have the same EDD. I had a miscarriage in Jan and took me 8 months to get pregnant again. Every month that it didn;t happen was so difficult emotionally that to lose the bean now would be unbearable.

Lynsay, I dont think you should be too hard on yourself. You've been through a really tough time. I cant imagine how hard it must be to get so far along and then lose it. It's natural that you feel so anxious. Like HB1 said though (and I could do with remembering this) the odds are on our side.

Hope you doctors appt goes ok.

 

[goddess25]

Its tough and I agree all you can do is take one day at a time right now. Your right its so sad that once you experience a loss you do not go through pregnancy in a carefree way. I hope everything is ok in there.

 

[cgweegee]

It is very tough to be positive all the time, especially after a miscarriage. I too agree with just taking it one day at a time. I know it's hard but don't automatically think the worst because of the lack of symptoms. This time around I had almost no morning sickness and just a bit of nausea and so far everything is going wonderful. I hope your doctors appointment goes great!

 

[Mizze]

Hey Lynsay

Just keep going honey - its the only thing to be done. Its so hard I know but each day is a day closer.

Mizze xx

 

[Lynsay]

Well Ladies, I have an early scan tomorrow, after beign told by my Dr that the EPAU wont give me one because of the spending cuts, but I phoned up and they've given me an appointment for tomorrow at 9.30 I'm really excited, and it's keeping me more positive, but I know that baby stopped developing at around 8 weeks, so as selfish as it sounds I'd prefer my appointment to be after 8 weeks to reassure me.

My Lovely OH suggested we pay for a private scan at around 10 weeks in Leeds and see if that settles me anymore...then atleast I'll only have 2-3 weeks to wait for the dating scan.

Anyways we are getting a new kitchen fitted at the moment, so thats taking my mind off it a little.

Thanks for all your help and support guys, It means alot to me xx

 

[lichunda1980]

Congrats hunni

 

[hb1]

I was the same - a scan at EPU at 6+5 but then I got a private scan after 8 weeks so was past my milestone....

Good luck tomorrow

hx

 

[Mizze]

Congrats Lyndsay. Thats a brilliant idea from OH too - it will help keep you sane

After two mmc's with development stopping at 6 weeks but not knowing till 9 and 11 weeks we had a scan at 8+5 - made all the difference to me.

Mizze xx

 

[lilly77]

Hey Lynsay - i'm also lurking over here from 1st tri! You have a very similar story to me..

My husband and I were trying for months last year, we finally fell pg in January, our due date was 10.10.10 - a special date anyway and also 2 days before DH's birthday.. we were SO excited, picking out names, looking at prams already etc. I have a 7yr old son from a previous relationship so this was me and DH's first child together.

I also had no symptoms apart from wanting to eat more and being a bit tired. We told my son at 11 weeks that he was going to have a brother or sister, he was so excited too! Then, on my son's birthday - at his party where 20 of his friends were - I started bleeding. Not a lot, but of course i was totally freaked out! I had to rush to A&E on my own as my DH had to stay with my son at his party and we didn't want him to know..

They could only scan me the next day, where they found that the 'embryo' had stopped developing at 6 weeks - there was bascially an empty sac inside but my stupid body had carried on believing I was pg for 12 weeks! I had a week of heavy bleeding/tissue loss before I had to have a D/C at the hosptial to remove all the pregnancy tissue.

This time, I'm happy but scared to be happy - EVERY TIME I go to the toilet I expect to see blood when I wipe - I look every time. I just want to know there's a bean in there and not nothing like last time. I won't feel rested until I see the HB - I'm getting an early scan at 7/8 weeks. I do have a bit more nausea this time and I didn't last time - but then again I didn't with my son so I don't think you should be worried about that.

So I know how you feel honey.. thats why i haven't told ANYone apart from my parents as if something does go wrong again (touch wood!) at least i have their support and they're both medical as well.

DH feels the same, he's nervous. Bless him, he said he wants to be happy now that we're expecting again but last time he got really hurt.

I hope everythings ok for you - i'm sure it is and we're just being paranoid!

Let us know how scan goes XX

 

[Deniz]

I can understand you as I had a mmc late July, was our first pregnancy. I am pregnant again, and now I am in the same week when my first baby stopped growing. I don't have much symptoms just as the previous one. I wish we could see inside our tummies. I have an early scan in 11 days & I can not stop myself counting the days sometimes... I just need to find something else to think about, but it is quite difficult especially this week Reading & watching films help a bit for a few hours