First BFN affecting me differently than I'd thought

[chocolatechip]

I just want to start by saying that I fully recognize there are many people in here who have been trying for a long time and getting one BFN is small potatoes.

But I'm just surprised at how hard I'm taking this. We are only TTC for one month and then we are taking a break until April. I knew this and that was always the plan. But getting the BFN yesterday (13dpo) really hit me hard. I'm also having AF cramps so I know it's over. I Just don't understand why it's so upsetting. I know most people don't fall pregnant the first try but yesterday I could hardly even keep my composure.

Is the first BFN generally tougher than the second and third?

Sorry for all the whining. Just feeling super blue.

 

[LuLu15]

I think it affects people differently. My first one I was ok because I was still unsure about my cycles due to stopping breast feeding. But I know this month will be hard, it's cycle 5 and it will be Christmas. For me it will happen when it's supposed to happen so I tell myself that. But those BFN are always hard. That's why I like these forums because there is a lot of support! Good luck in April!

 

[Bella_lor]

First and foremost, you should not feel as though you're over reacting since many woman experiance negitive all the time. Regardless of what anyone says your reaction is fit. Of course it is heart breaking when you are trying to conceive. Even more so when you and your husband decided to wait a few cycles. Your reaction is completely normal. However we have to realize not everything works out the first try. But there's many more after that. As for the wait till April maybe you could focus on getting your body ready for a healthy happy pregnancy. Talk to your doctor, start taking vitamins, and do what ever you can so that when April comes around you will be ready! Keep your head up and I hope your wish comes true soon!

 

[awnmyown]

I know my first month hit me the hardest too. The second month I was like "Eh" and hid out eating chocolate, but it wasn't the same emotional heartbreak of that first month. This month I'm feeling like we have a great chance, but I don't feel like I'll be as heartbroken as I was that first month. There's just something about the first time, that's weirdly hard.

Not that every BFN doesn't suck, and it does, and the longer they're there, I think it gets hard again. I think once we're closing in on the 1 year mark, I'll start to be more hurt about it again.

 

[Kiki1993]

I am so scared i wont get pregnant straight away. I know one month is nothing compared to long term trying but I get all my hopes up and it always hurts to get your hopes let down. I think it's normal to feel that way?

 

[AshNAmber]

I think seeing that BFN hurts a lot worse then just seeing the show up. Its been almost 2 years since we last TTC so considering this is our first try again and our whole situation is different I think it's going to hit me really hard if I'm not. But I'm trying to prepare myself for it..

 

[chocolatechip]

Thanks everyone. It's nice to find a group of people who know exactly what I mean. I know this is just something I'm going to have to learn to work through.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I remember getting my first BFN. We started ntnp from July to September and then ttc from September onwards. I was so surprised because in past pregnancies it only took us 1-2 cycles to conceive so after about 3 cycles of BFNs, I was thinking there might be something wrong. I had an ultrasound done and everything was normal though but I know the feeling all too well. I swear I suffered from depression the past couple cycles. I had no motivation to do anything. Hope it happens quickly for you! BFNs are a bummer...

 

[mrs unicorn]

My first bfn was the worst, not that we've been trying long. But for some reason I had convinced myself that we would be one of those couples that it happened first try for. We weren't and boy did I cry. It's a bfn now too though and I'm ok ish with it. This time I was like 'ah yeah didn't think so'. I think it's different for everyone though. I find testing early (so far) a gentler let down. But I know some people are the complete opposite. My worst time is the first week of the TWW, I get so so down I need some kind of battle plan to tackle that week from now on!

 

[haleyjo]

This is only my first cycle ttc #3 but my bfn this morning hit me pretty hard too! I hope it gets easier. I think this cycle I just got myself so worked up & convinced that I was that it made it hard. It took me 3 months with my first, and I didn't test any month, I just waited for af, and the month she didn't show, I knew I could test. I think that was a lot easier than testing and seeing the negative!