First IVF- How do you keep marriage sane?

[Sunshine24]

Hi folks-

We've had a year of trying on our own, following by 4 IUI w injects, had a lap procedure which they found moderate endo ( removed ) and now we are onto IVF --stimming begins in a week or so. It's been a crazy journey to say the least.

My husband is a patient, wonderful person who is willing to do whatever it takes to make this happen ( AND IT WILL HAPPEN! ) We are on the same page with everything and are both excited to move forward.

My question to you is this, what do y'all do to keep the intimacy alive? Between meds, bloods, apts every other day, monitoring, shots, talking about our choices through this process, and all the other little details sometimes the romance just dies! What do you guys do to make sure it doesnt? At this point a BFP isnt coming through regular old BD but I'd still like to! hahaha.

Good luck to everyone!

 

[Lucie73821]

Hi there! We've been through two ivf cycles (and a ton of other stuff), and it's like you said, it's hard to keep the romance going! We just try to forget about everything and spend time together. I will say when you get close to your ER, you probably won't be in the mood for bd because it gets a bit uncomfortable. We also didn't want to bd when it got closer to ER. Because my dh has count issues. We just tried to bd a lot in the early part of the process, because bd was off limits in the tww.

Like I said earlier, I've been through the process twice, so feel free to ask any questions. I wish you the best of luck with your ivf!

 

[Molae06]

Hi Sunshine! My husband and I haven't moved on to IVF yet, have just been doing IUI's, but even so, our sex life strated struggling after TTC for a while. We have currently been trying for just about 6 years and for the past few months our sex life has been hell to say the least. Dh was NEVER in the mood, even when it was time. This past month I decided to take a step back and try to chill out a little. If dh said he wasn't in the mood, I didn't force it, although I was secretly peeved. For us, when I started making bd all about the baby, and making it seem so forced hurt our sex life. Before iui when we were just doing timed intercourse with clomid, there were a couple cycles we bd so much that I started becoming sore and would just lay there, sometimes I was such an emotional wreck that I would just lay there and cry the entire time.....I can't even imagine how I must have made him feel! Things are slowly getting better, but I am happy for you that you realize that the romance might start to flounder and are looking for a way to keep everything going!

 

[Lans]

Oh i wish i had answers to this!! We are also just about to start injections in just under two weeks for our very first ivf after two years of trying and lately i just can not get in the mood! I just keep telling myself its just the stress of all all and it will pass!

Good luck to you!!

 

[tessjs]

Its very difficultand wish I had the answers..I'm feeling pretty flat with it all

 

[Sunshine24]

Hi Ladies-

While I definitely DO NOT have the answers to this I wanted to share something my husband and I put together as I begin injects for 1st IVF today...

I will probably be on injectables for about 10 days so we made a giant list of things we have wanted to accomplish for a while and plan to tackle them during my injectable phase of my cycle and then throughout the 2 week wait.

Things as simple as selling some old electronics we have on ebay to watching a 6 part documentary we've been meaning to to reading, organizing our basement, making extravagant meals from a cookbook we've never used, cleaning out my closet, seeing a movie in the theater that just came out, etc, etc. Nothing too romantic I'm afraid but I think staying busy AND accomplishing things as we go along will help keep us sane and thinking about something besides each docs appt and how many more days we have to go.

I'm sure we will still have some very crazy, stressed out moments---but unlike my last 4 IUI cycles I am really going to focus on other things this time.

 

[purplesparkle]

i guess just trying something new when you are bding. we have started experimenting a lot more rather than just have sex we used blind fold on each other the other week wich made it more fun rather than just a baby making exercise