First pregnancy- Feel so alone :(

[fairydust87]

I found out I was pregnant last week. Im 4 weeks 4 days today and am very happy about it but I feel so alone. My ex is my babys dad. We broke up 4 months ago but he came roind on his birthday to hang out/catch up and one thing led to another. I told him on Saturday and he has taken it really badly. He says its ruined everything he doesnt want it. Hes so depressed he cant sleep or eat since he found out. Whenever we talk he hangs up the phone speaks negative or doesnt want to talk about it at all. We were together for 2 years and planned a family and spoke about it but I didnt expect to become pregnant. I see it as a very happy accident he sees it as hes lifes ruined.

I could handle that he didnt want to support me but I feel I have noone. My brothet thinks its the biggest mistake of my life. My sister is also pregnant but shes busy with her own.life atm. My mum doesnt seem interested. Whenever i talk about baby she walks out the room or tells me to stop talking about it. She said he hadnt planned on having another baby in the house and she wasnt thought of when this happened. Im so scared anyway as i know early miscarriage can happen and I love my baby so much already I have to juggle that worry the face I have no support hotmones and work.

Im a strong women naturally but I cant help feeling upset about it all. iIts my first pregnancyI should be happy and excited and I am but my family and ex are making it hard. Ex family dont know yet thats a whole different story as they hate me. Dreading what they will say.

I can do this by myself cant I. As long as im happy thats all that matters xx
Thanks for reading sorry for long post x

 

[jlo1979]

i'd probably stop talking to people who are being negative about it and focus on how you will cope the best you can on your own. If you are sure it is what you want then you will manage. have you got any other friends apart from family, who don't seem too helpful right now.
your family are probably just worried for you and think it will be hard. when they see you coping they might be more supportive.
As for your ex - i'd bin him well and truly

 

[sunbaby777]

I am so sorry! I agree with jlo1979 that you should avoid negative people who aren't supportive. You have to think about baby first now, and you don't need additional stress. If baby's daddy is acting that way, I would ditch him. You deserve better than that. This baby will be the best thing that ever happens to you - despite the lack of support. Try to focus on the positive. Big hugs! You are not alone!

 

[amjon]

I was pretty much on my own in the beginning, but friends and family were still supportive. I am in my 30's though (not sure how old you are).

 

[amotherslove]

comee on over to the single parents board love you're not alone and we'll all be okay

 

[fairydust87]

Thanks so much guys. Should have put my age im 24. Will be 25 by the time babys born xx

 

[sandilion]

Many many women manage as single mums and while you love that baby with all of your heart and soul you will make an amazing mum - with or without the father involved.

 

[jennijunni]

Why would you mother say "she did not another baby in the house, and she was not thought of when this happened?" Sorry, I dont think of my mother when I am having sex with my DH either!! Do you and your sister live at home? It is time to move, find your own place, set up house. If you and your sister are at home with your mom, I can see how she could feel put out. But you are and adult, and what she thinks should have no bearing on your life, but it does. I would try to find a place, maybe with a roommate if you have too, and start a new. And your ex is being a douche. he sounds like he is being selfish, and self centered. He could have prevented this from happening, so he is not innocent, and he needs to quit whining. Hugs mama!!! You are doing great! This is a new and exciting chapter in your life!! Have fun!

 

[Mon_n_john]

You are plenty old enough to handle this on your own, you are going to be fine, I promise! You know have a little one to fight for. I would move out, get my own place and live in a peaceful happy environment. You won't be alone long!

 

[Torontogal]

*Hugs* Hopefully some of the single mommas have some additional advise, but for starters start looking around to see what kind of help is available in your area (co-op housing, etc.). Sorry everyone's so negative - hopefully it's just shock and they will come around once the pregnancy progresses and once baby arrives. Even if your ex never does I think/hope your family will warm up...

 

[lili_angel]

Oh my sweetheart this made me ...what a tough position to find yourself in huh? I recognise how hard it might be for you, but instead of feeling the pain of being alone feel the pain that you were let down by those you thought you could trust...& then let it go. It really is negativity you just don't need right now.

You are absolutely far from being alone, couldn't be so far from even if you tried!! There's a lot to go for those that choose to love & support you (friends) against those who have a certain 'obligation' (family & baby daddy)...we all on here will always be here for you. We're nice like that because we choose to be, & we wont ever judge or let you down....Have more faith in you, in your ability to stick 2 fingers up at the wrong & walk away to make a better life for yourself. You can do it, I promise.

As for your ex, leave him be. Leave him to come to you when you're stronger to tell him to F'off...your Mum? That is a big let down, I understand that, had it with my Dad...but there's only so much of being let down & pushed away any one person can take when it has to stop. So tell her you love her, that you also love you & this baby. Tell her you will be ok & that when she wants she can come to you because the door will always be open...& then go make that life for yourself that you deserve.

 

[no drama mama]

Oh hun, I'm sorry. I agree that you should try and stay away from the negativity as much as possible. You're allowed to be happy and no one should punish you for that. Hang in there and keep coming here - you've got us!

 

[fairydust87]

Thanks alot guys. Just an update. I had a heart to heart with mum and sorted things out and my ex is being a bit more positive now feeling good today. Thanks so much for your support and replies xx

 

[MummyOfSeven]

You don't need nagativity right now,,if this is the decision you've chose then cut them all out and do it alone. There are so many mothe and baby groups out there you should find it easy to find a new set of friends who will probably be in similar situations anyway xx