FOB is just a cruel person

[Dezireey]

So..... its my turn to find out that FOB is now considering dabbling about with other women or probably has done already. Boy this hurts. It hurts so much to have someone you love leave you in this condition and then be cruel and heartless and start moving on with another woman. Today he posted on facebook that he hadnt had sex in years???! ( WTF? Am i the virgin mary then?) and that he was lonely and missed sex. Then these women respond and he is lapping it all up asking one if she is free tomorrow night and that he misses boobs! She and him are flirting on there and looks like something will happen between them. What a horrible person he is. If only she knew the truth!!

I seriously have given up on men for life, this is the cruelest treatment I have ever received from a man and all I did wrong was love him, ill never get over this, my poor baby, with a father like that

 

[lemontree12]

I know the feeling! It's so cruel! My babies dad is with someone already and we have o ly been broke up 3months, after living together for 4yrs! I feel like I would get more respect from a stranger I slept with than him! He made me homeless and refuses to talk to me!
People are so disgusted by his behaviour that even his friends have something to say about the matter!
Hate is such a strong word but I generally couldn't care less if he fell off a cliff! One thing that keeps me going is karma will pay them back! There's no way men like that carry on living happy life's! If so the world is a cruel place!

 

[lemontree12]

And the women who actually can do that to another woman! She has no shame and will openly splash pictures of them all over Facebook!

 

[Dezireey]

it just makes you doubt your ability to choose friends and lovers doesnt it? I never thought he would behave like that in a million years. He is such a liar too making out to these new friends of his that he has been single forever, it makes my blood boil and yet he is angry with me!!

The only thing I keep telling myself tonight is that 'who cares, she can have him, he will treat her just as bad, a leopard definitely does not change its spots' He could have at least waited to go out hunting for fresh meat until after the baby is born, no he is out looking for someone new whilst I am pregnant, just disgusting behaviour. It is taking all my will power not to lift the lid on his 'secret' but I dont need the stress.

 

[jemmie1994]

that is disgusting! you sure as hell dont need him he sounds like a right scumbag

 

[lemontree12]

The best thing I have done is lift the lid o. His secret! No-one new and he liked it that way! I suffered while he moved on! Now iv let everyone no! I'm 7months and we had mutual friends who only no as of this week because when I found out he was with someone else I thought I'm sick on him thinking of himself!

The reason why is it is the best thing to tell people is now even his life friends don't want anything to do with him! They are calling him "spineless" and saying he needs to grow a backbone! I feel like revenge is working in my favour!
Why should we keep their secret when they show no respect for our feelings!

X

 

[dustbunny]

Well for a start these women who have responded to his booty call on facebook have no class what so ever. In fact it is pretty damn low and nasty. Men are just dicks, they think with their dick, act with their dick... its like it holds it own centre of gravity for them.

You are sooooooooooooooooooo much better than him and his new found group of hos!! He sounds like a right nasty piece of poo and there 'ladies' sound... well... like the sort who scrawl their numeros on doors. Hmmm!!!

And your baby has one amazing mother who more than makes up for a loser of a dad. Chin up and stay strong

 

[Dezireey]

Thanks guys

I have decided today, with only 3 weeks left till my due date to 1) Not check his facebook anymore 2) wait and see what he does when his baby is born e.g I wont rock the boat just yet, I want him to know that yes, he is a father fer sure and his little boy is here and then 3) if he completely ignores his baby, then I will have the proof to tell everyone what a scumbag he is and how he is ignoring a little tiny baby, that should go down well

The sad thing is that I know, even if I do this, the idiot will STILL plead desperation - how his life is so crap, how can I do this to him when he is so low etc, etc, think of him and his terrible life, yeah right!! Too late for all that now you slimy toad.

Gosh my taste in men must be rubbish, I need a refresher training course in spotting the bad uns, dont want another loser like this again in my life, sheesh

 

[dustbunny]

Thanks guys

I have decided today, with only 3 weeks left till my due date to 1) Not check his facebook anymore 2) wait and see what he does when his baby is born e.g I wont rock the boat just yet, I want him to know that yes, he is a father fer sure and his little boy is here and then 3) if he completely ignores his baby, then I will have the proof to tell everyone what a scumbag he is and how he is ignoring a little tiny baby, that should go down well

The sad thing is that I know, even if I do this, the idiot will STILL plead desperation - how his life is so crap, how can I do this to him when he is so low etc, etc, think of him and his terrible life, yeah right!! Too late for all that now you slimy toad.

Gosh my taste in men must be rubbish, I need a refresher training course in spotting the bad uns, dont want another loser like this again in my life, sheesh

Someone who keeps making excuses is just a shit person full stop. And as for finding the bad ones I just see it as one major toad less to kiss. Haha!!

 

[Lemonflower]

This happened to me also! He got a gf - I think within 2 months possibly less and moved in with her a month after that. 6 years we'd been together!

I used to wonder what his new gf thinks of this situation but then he's prob told her a different story. It may be the same for your lowlife fob's.

His friends, our mutual friends including his best friend (we never used to get on) all have an bad opinion about him. I stayed quiet and didn't say much on the matter, it was him broadcasting things on Facebook and his actions that got him noticed for the person he really is and not me mud slinging - I'm proud of that cos I said, "one day people will see him for what he is."
I did have a rant on Facebook the other day though after he visit LO and bought dirty clothes!
It wasn't about me and him - I was angry he'd done that to his son!!
Like you I have never been treated this bad in my life - like you said you don't expect it - especially from someone you love and thinks loves you!

Honestly it does get easier.... Everyone says having your LO does make things easier and it does!! He's beautiful and is my new focus!
Now i feel better about the things he's done to me (though there is still a stab of pain sometimes)
Things that helped me were:
blocking him and anyone connected to him on Facebook so I wasn't tempted to look or see him "checked" in anywhere..
I know it's hard not to look and ask people to look but it's best just to be kind to yourself. You've already had enough hurt from him dont inflict more on yourself.
Tell friends not to look or talk about him either - that helps.
Staying busy - when LO is here this one is easy!!
See a counsellor, being able to talk open and honestly to a qualified "stranger" for a few visits really helped me!!
I'm nearly feeling okay about things now! One point I was so low! He says he wants to be involved in LO's life though he's done nothing during pregnancy and hasn't contacted me after his first failed visit this week. The thought of seeing him every week visiting LO made me sad but now he's here I know I can deal with it. He has a few hours with LO and I get to tuck him into bed and wake up with him each morning!

Seeing men who are rubbish during pregnancy and who are heartless makes me feel that I'm not hard done by and other people are in this situation.
I think I had a lucky escape and it sounds like all of you did too! I don't want heartless, nasty, immature selfish people around my son.
Dezireey you said on a thread that your mum said something like, he would undo all your hard work bringing up your LO - I like this. Imagine them being around LOs full time inflicting their morals on them.

In time Dezireey and Lemon you will pity Fob new gf, I do. The pain of him getting with her so quickly will fade. I can laugh about it with friends now!
They're now be lumbered with those nasty b****ds and we're free of them.
I honestly would never get back with fob - never thought I'd say that.

When tough situations happen people show their true colours and these men certainly have! Wasters, pity them and wish them luck, they may look back when they're older and have remorse but then it doesn't matter.

Dunno if I believe in karma...

 

[lemontree12]

Lemonflower I found blocking him on fb helped! Also I have been considering seeing a councillor just for someone to listen to how I'm feeling and give an outsiders view!

I do pity his new gf already! She has no idea what type of man she's got involved with, although she had a warning as she's fully aware that we were together 4yrs and he left me pregnant, so whatever happens I have no pity then! She may think eveythings rosy now! But he will become abusive, is the most selfish person on this planet and he will not give a shit about her in 2yrs time!

I'm starting to see that this was a blessing everything that he done to me, because if he hadn't I would of never escaped from a relationship I was so unhappy in!

I guess me and my daughter are the lucky ones! We are lucky not to have him around anymore!

 

[lemontree12]

Also is ur fob still with the same girl?

 

[Dezireey]

Thanks hun

It is sad so many of us are in this situation but my Mum is definitely right, especially as I am having a boy. It will probably turn out a blessing that he doesnt have his biological father in his life as what kind of influence would he be? He would teach him terrible values and i dont want my son exposed to that.

I believe in karma too, he will get payback one day and if he can not care less about his own flesh and blood, he is certainly not going to be a dutiful, faithful and loyal man to any woman he gets involved with. I know when my baby is here I wont regret having him one bit but at the moment I am getting days where I wish FOB was not the father of my child.

 

[lemontree12]

I never thought of that and ur totally right "if he can't care about his own flesh and blood he can't be a faithful man etc"

I have no idea if he was faithful, he came home with scratches on his body and a love bit once! But to this day he would say he never cheated! I guess that should of been a warning in itself!

 

[Lemonflower]

Yeah he is with the same girl - though I don't think he cheated on me - then again he's been so heartless I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that he did. We split late Sept and he got with her early by Dec, they moved in together early January.
Talk about quick! Cut me like a knife when I heard!
I had the counselling in Dec and it helped so much. Like you said an outsiders point of view is sometimes better than family and friends.

Also, I laughed when my counsellor suggested this:
Write down a list of pros and cons. I was surprised that there were way more cons. It's easy to look back on the relationship when it's over with rose tinted specticals.
I was also asked the simple question of: "what do you love about him?".
I couldn't really answer and said, "he makes me laugh".
Counsellors reply... "he's not now".

Let go of blame too! I blamed myself so much:
I should have had sex more with him
I shouldn't have nagged him
I should have taken more interest in his hobbies
Ect

I've let go and now think that even if I had done the above I don't want to be with a man who left me so callously and did all the things he did to me after the split to hurt me - whilst pregnant with his child.

Xxxx

 

[Terukki]

Once I found out my FOB was cheating on me he was openly flirting with the girl and going around town with her openly in public and who knows what else. I'm so heart broken about all of this. I'm so sorry about your situation.

 

[bjb]

Honestly... I wouldn't even let him know that I was going into labor or invite him to the birth. If he shows such blatant carelessness and disrespect, I certainly wouldn't want the stress of his presence on such a beautiful day, when I'm trying to perform the most challenging task ever! If he had any shred of a heart at all he would then see that his role as father is a privilege, not a right--one that he has definitely given up! Your story really makes me emotional for you Be brave for your little one and protect that child from that asshole!

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

So..... its my turn to find out that FOB is now considering dabbling about with other women or probably has done already. Boy this hurts. It hurts so much to have someone you love leave you in this condition and then be cruel and heartless and start moving on with another woman. Today he posted on facebook that he hadnt had sex in years???! ( WTF? Am i the virgin mary then?) and that he was lonely and missed sex. Then these women respond and he is lapping it all up asking one if she is free tomorrow night and that he misses boobs! She and him are flirting on there and looks like something will happen between them. What a horrible person he is. If only she knew the truth!!

I seriously have given up on men for life, this is the cruelest treatment I have ever received from a man and all I did wrong was love him, ill never get over this, my poor baby, with a father like that

But your lucky lucky baby with a mummy like you, who's being brave enough to deal with this with FOB & bringing up a LO alone. Just try & move on & forget all about him. It's his loss. Big

 

[ZombieQueen]

I'm so sorry honey, this is why I deleted my ex husband off my Facebook, so i can't see who he's talking to... Mine gave his number to a girl when I was 3 months pregnant and we were still very much together.. lied to her about me, lied to me about her.. they were shopping together, getting lunch, he even had a second number to text and call her with.. ended up leaving me home alone 7 months pregnant on my birthday to hang out with her until 5a.m. with condoms in his pocket.. then came home to me and lied about where he was, kissed me, apologized for being out so late.. even had sex with me the next day... Men are scum. I was cooking his meals, dragging his laundry to the laundromat, doing all the shopping, the cleaning, etc while he was showering another woman with the affection I was begging for.. how do we even begin to trust men again?

I was told recently "someday a man will thank your ex husband for leaving you, so he could be lucky enough to have a chance to love you properly." Try not to let your pig of an ex get to you, its his loss.

 

[Terukki]

I never thought of that and ur totally right "if he can't care about his own flesh and blood he can't be a faithful man etc"

I have no idea if he was faithful, he came home with scratches on his body and a love bit once! But to this day he would say he never cheated! I guess that should of been a warning in itself!

My FOB claims he never cheated either but I read the messaged between him the now new girlfriend he has. I don't see the point of lying about everything because you look ultra stupid.