For ladies who hope to breastfeed-I wish somebody told me!

[lynnikins]

i did schedule feeds ( dont all jump on me ) i have bigger babies and from birth they did go longer between feeds it was never exactly down to the minute and i would feed them early if they required it but in general it worked out for us to feed every 2 1/2 -3 hours not letting them go more than 3 1/2 hrs without offering a feed during the day and 3-4 hourly at night for the first 2 wks then it was every 3 -3 1/2 hrs during the day and every 4-5 hrs overnight. it worked for both my boys really well im not a mum that uses boob as the first option whenever they cry , or a pacifier/dummy like that either but i dont deprive them if they are hungry ( during growth spurts they feed more often normally ) theres a time for comfort sucking but i dont let them use me like a dummy/pacifier.
its not hard to learn your babies cues and figure out when they are actually hungry or just fussy, most babies by 6wks will have their own pattern for feeds

 

[Pretty Please]

One thing to point out though if your baby wont take the breast after everyone in the hospital has tried to help you and your baby. Its better than the baby does get formula and dont feel like your a failure or guilty for being unable to BF.

All the years of caring until the baby is an adult certainly takes over than a year or so of BF.

Dont let anyone force you one way or the other it should be the choice of you at the end of the day !!!!

 

[AP]

It's all very true. I wish someone told me the first 2 months or so would be hard, but its so so easy 5 months on!!!!

 

[allaboard]

One thing to point out though if your baby wont take the breast after everyone in the hospital has tried to help you and your baby. Its better than the baby does get formula and dont feel like your a failure or guilty for being unable to BF.

All the years of caring until the baby is an adult certainly takes over than a year or so of BF.

Dont let anyone force you one way or the other it should be the choice of you at the end of the day !!!!

It's very important women don't feel like failures, i agree, and when women don't manage to crack BFing first time, that they don't walk away feeling negatively and associate BFing with misery. Second time around, mums often do manage it and find the whole baby thing easier generally.

I have to disagree though - if you get home and are still struggling, i'd advise having the number of 24 hour support by phone and have an expert come over and demonstrate the latch, advice about upping your supply, or just reassure you. "Failure" (yuk horrible word) to BF is down to insufficient or poor support, so have numbers ready immediately. Don't assume your MW is an expert in BFing as they have only done the initial basic training, and that isn't anywhere near enough for a lot of them - they aren't all passionate and as knowledgeable as they should be.

 

[WannabemomV]

I LOVE this link
https://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

 

[AP]

I also found once LO latched on I genuinely was left to it, no pressure. In early labour the midwife asked what I intended to do, I told her breastfeeding but she assumed I had done it before, so I did explain I expressed but didn't understand the logistics of breastfeeding so as long as someone helped I'd be fine.

I made sure I stayed in overnight to get it right and buzzed midwives if I was concerned. I didn't want to stay, but it was worth it as I had time to think and recover

Sometimes breastfeeding can sound complicated,It can frighten some expectant mums, it really doesn't have to be as complicated!

 

[hawalkden]

great post thanks ladies

 

[vintage67]

It doesn't have to be complicated, but for some of us it is.

Due to my diabetes, my son's blood glucose crashed to 18 not long after birth. (A 15 can put a baby in a coma; 35-40 or over is normal). He was weak and his lips were trembling. They gave him an IV to stabilize him, but his lips trembled for the next day or so. He could not master a latch. I gave him what little colostrom I could squeeze out.

Because he couldn't latch, they kept monitoring his blood glucose. He kept crashing. We stayed in the hospital 4 days and he was sent home on a special formula, which saved his life. I still tried to BF. After 7 days, my milk had still not come in. A lactation consultant came to my home and if you've ever seen or made fresh squeezed orange juice, that's how roughly she forced his head onto my breasts. The lactation consultant at the hospital wasn't any better and she knew NOTHING about diabetes.

With him screaming bloody murder, she left my house after 2 hours. I used my hospital grade double pump until my aereolas calloused and peeled. I sought the help of a 3rd lactation consultant and her assistant. By now, nearly 3 weeks had gone by. Sought help online and found....open hostility and judgement. Severe and unrelenting judgement. As in, your child will get cancer if you can't do this; women who can't make milk lack the hormone that good mothers have; you're lazy.

At around the 6 week point, I started contemplating suicide. Walked through the house crying all day. I had been drinking the wretched fenugreek tea, taking blessed thistle and eating oat meal. I stayed hooked up to a pump almost around the clock and had gone about 3 days barely eating drinking and not bathing. Left the baby at home with my husband and drove down the the river that goes through our city. Sat there for a long time. Came really close to driving in the river. I was having severe heart palpitations because I was continuing to stay off my heart medications as it is passes into breast milk. Ha! The 2 ounces that it took me all day to pump.

I decide to drive back home. Told my husband what happened. He screamed at me, cursed me and shook me very hard. He ripped the computer power cord out and told me to stay off the computer. He cried. He said "I can't take care of this baby without you. He doesn't care about breast milk! He loves you!"

My son was fed formula from then on. The breast pump went into the attic.

There are a lot of stories like mine out there.

 

[missmayhem]

Vintage so sorry to hear about your experience!!! BF'ing is not always best, easy or even an option. well done on you for trying so so hard

 

[Sherileigh]

I hear this complaint from so many women, that because of their baby feeding all the time they believe they don't have enough milk and eventually give up. It makes me sad that the information just doesn't seem to be out there for some women.
Thanks for the post!
And it was complicated for myself as well. My son wouldn't latch. Nothing I did could change it so I had to pump for 9 months. I truly believe this one will be different. I can't end up with 2 non-latchers can I??

 

[vintage67]

I know people want to be positive when they say things like, "Only 2% of women can't brestfeed", or "Anyone can do it with the right support!" , "It's what we're designed for!",
"Women who fail didn't really try."

These positive euphemisms can cut like a knife.

 

[keyahopes]

vintage, that was really awful what you have been through. Bought a tear to my eye. Our ultimate goal should be to keep our little bubbas healthy.
All my friends had a hard time breast feeding, so I am well prepared for the worst. But I am going to give it my all.
Thanks for all the suggestions and tips.

 

[Mel1986]

thanks ladies, my research has taught me this but not many other seems to be aware of it....


can you also suggest a good bra for largers busts if possible??

Hi Hun, am a 32G, well normally gone up to a 34G and I have found some lovely nursing bras on Figleaves. They are new to supplying these and also do a nursing swimwear range.
Having a bigger bust means spending loads on bras and these are really reasonably priced from £16 a bra

xxx

 

[DaisyBee]

Vintage you are a very brave mom!


I wanted to mention that if anyone has had a breast reduction that they should get help right away from a lactation person. They had me pumping right after birth ( after an attempt at bf). I wasn't able to successfully breastfeed, but feel like I would have had even less of a chance without their help. I was later told how few women who have had reductions can breastfeed or can do it without supplementing.

 

[aley28]

One thing to point out though if your baby wont take the breast after everyone in the hospital has tried to help you and your baby. Its better than the baby does get formula and dont feel like your a failure or guilty for being unable to BF.

All the years of caring until the baby is an adult certainly takes over than a year or so of BF.

Dont let anyone force you one way or the other it should be the choice of you at the end of the day !!!!

This is true to a point. I had help from like six different people at the hospital. Lactation consultants, nurses, etc. Everybody's solution to make him latch was to bare my boob, make me roll my nipple around to make it stick out, and then the nurse/consultant would take my son (while he was screaming his head off) and stuff him onto my boob. When he finally managed to latch this way, they'd hand him to me and leave. One lady finally told me that my nipples are too flat to breast feed and the only way it was going to work was to use a nipple shield.

So... if you have actual, real help at the hospital and they can't help you... maybe. But if there are women there who are literally forcing your baby onto your nipple (and by a means that you can't do at home anyway), then you need to explore outside help. That type of help is setting you up to fail, and I definitely didn't succeed at breastfeeding for very long.

I think there does come a point when you have to admit that you need to switch/supplement with formula. There is that point where your baby's health is more important than breast milk. My son gaining .5lb in 2 months was that point for me. We switched and he put on 2lbs in 2 weeks. But if I had been provided with real, actual help at the hospital rather than somebody forcing a screaming baby onto my nipple... I may have been able to be successful.

Support is very good to have. But I'd say determination is even more important, and knowing where the line is that says, "I can't do this" is even more important.

I will be breastfeeding this time. I know my body can produce milk, and I know that what happened last time was the complete and totally incorrect way to do it. I've done a lot of reading and video watching and am approaching it differently.

No judgement against mothers who formula feed. But there are things that you need to know about breast feeding to set yourself up for success. Preparing for cluster feeding, etc is a tool for success. Knowing your limit to give yourself a real chance at trying so you won't feel like a failure is important.

As for positions... Look up 'biological nurturing'... its the first position I plan to practice with. Very good reviews about it, and most sites seem to agree that its the most natural and should cause the least discomfort. Cradle hold, football hold, etc were all rather uncomfortable for me without an enormous pile of pillows.

 

[Darling]

I wish someone had helped me latch on correctly, it was day 4 before i got a decent Community MW to show me the horizontal, face-on, tummy-to-mummy, nose-to-nipple position, rather than just craddling baby and stuffing it in. By then my nipples were raw and bleeding. We made it to 16 months though so you CAN overcome difficulties!

Also, Lansinoh, amazing!

Also, BM helps rid a baby of sticky eye, it's actually miraculous! Squirt it in!

Also, not to worry about baby feeding lots, open access is the only way - it'll all regulate itself over the weeks and months.

Also, the pain does go, eventually.

I'm glad i know that tongue tie can impair BFing, and i have numbers on hand to get the frenulum snipped if need be.

I second Lansinoh. Its what the mw's recommend.

I'd like to add that breastmilk is a great healer and is also good for nappy rash.

 

[satine51]

I think I wasn't prepared for how hard it was going to be. The practicalitles are easier now (latch, positions etc) but the cluster feedings are still hard. I had no help from NHS, I eventually got private help and it was so worth it.

 

[AP]

I also would add - if its not making you happy, and you're doing it for other people (ykwim) then dont be afraid to move onto formula. Don't ever feel pressurised.

I had expressed for 15 weeks and supplemented with formula.The first 11 weeks were easy, because LO lived in NICU. But coming home was a frightening experience for us all and i was no longer happy expressing and looking after a baby, who was 2lb to start with. She gained better on formula, simple as, and that was what was more important to me - she'd had a good start!

 

[Magpie]

How old are babies when they need to cluster feed? Or is it individual to each baby? I'm predicted to have a larger than average size baby and I've already been hearing that I may have to supplement to keep up with him. I really don't want to. I'll keep him on my boobs 24/7 if I have to!!

My LO was 9lb 4oz and we managed without supplementing. I was also told by HV that I'd be lucky to be able to exclusively bf her for more than about 15 weeks as I wouldn't have enough milk but I was able to carry on until we started weaning onto solids. I had a friend whose baby was 9lb 6oz and she also had no problems with this and didn't need to supplement.

I'm not saying this is the case for all big babies but wanted you to know it is possible to do it without.

 

[wigglywoo]

How old are babies when they need to cluster feed? Or is it individual to each baby? I'm predicted to have a larger than average size baby and I've already been hearing that I may have to supplement to keep up with him. I really don't want to. I'll keep him on my boobs 24/7 if I have to!!

My LO was 9lb 4oz and we managed without supplementing. I was also told by HV that I'd be lucky to be able to exclusively bf her for more than about 15 weeks as I wouldn't have enough milk but I was able to carry on until we started weaning onto solids. I had a friend whose baby was 9lb 6oz and she also had no problems with this and didn't need to supplement.

I'm not saying this is the case for all big babies but wanted you to know it is possible to do it without.

That is shocking advice from a HV! Shame on her. It just shows why so many women give up due to lack of good advice and support